


I Was Never Good at Waiting

by BirdsandSpades



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Aobajousai, F/M, Love Triangles, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Protective Sugawara Koushi, Teacher Sugawara Koushi, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 59,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdsandSpades/pseuds/BirdsandSpades
Summary: It was your last year in highschool, everything had been going smoothly until you got assigned the new teacher. Sugawara Koushi was handsome, maybe too handsome for his own good. Be he wasn’t flirting with you right, teachers shouldn’t do that….I guess we will see where this year goes.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

“Stand clear, the train doors will be opening shortly.” The speakers overhead rang out as you pulled into the station.

You waited for your turn to step off the train step and onto the concrete platform in front of you. Your phone buzzing in your jacket pocket as you walked up the station stairs to the streets. Turning it over, your screen illuminated with your mother’s contact name. You slid your thumb over the screen and lifted the phone to your ear. 

“Hi mom.” You beamed, nodding a thank you to the man holding the station door open as you walked outside. It wasn’t unusual with everything she had on her mind that she would forget important days on your schedule. But none the less you were happy she remembered today. 

“My big girl is a third year! I can remember when you were just little, hiding in between your father’s legs on your first day of kindergarten!” Her laughs bounced from the phone speaker. 

You chuckled lightly at her remark while looking at your watch, 7:50 still plenty of time to get to school. Stopping at the beginning of the cross walk you watched the cars pass by as you waited your turn to cross. “How are you doing mom, how is grandpa?’’ You questioned as the light turned red and the crosswalk countdown started. 

“We are good, he’s been walking around outside again. How are you kiddo, did your dad call you yet?’’ She smiled, already knowing the answer.

“No, but he did send me one of those motivational animal photos, the standard greeting.” You laughed. It was his signature text, his way of saying “I’m thinking of you, just don’t know how to say it.”

Your first destination was in sight as you rounded the corner, a small convenient store you frequented often during the school year. The roof had been repainted over the summer, the dull blue replaced with vibrant red. The door and concrete light poles painted to match. Much to your amusement the same burnt out bulb remained on the neon open sign. The P had been dark the first time you walked into the store, and had remained unlit every time since. 

“Mom, I have to go but i’m glad you called.” You rushed as you entered the store. 

“Ok, call me after school and tell me how it goes, I love you…i’m so proud of you ya know. My big girl so…” She choked on her words, on the verge of a motherly breakdown. 

“Bye mom, I love you!” You exclaimed, stopping her short of her emotional speech. You loved talking to her, but she could go on forever if you didn’t cut her off. 

Dropping your phone into your bag you scanned over the drink selection. You opened a few different cooler doors, finger hovering over the assortment of coffees before ultimately deciding on your regular cheap can. Why fix what isn’t broken? You walked it over to the counter and set it down before pulling out your wallet and setting some money into the tray, scooting it towards the clerk. 

“Hey kid, first day of school already?’’ The old man smiled as he scanned your item and took your money from the tray. 

You nodded and smiled as he handed you back your change on the tray and the can of coffee. “Sadly.” You laughed lightly, picking up everything. You thanked him, walked to the door, “Have a good day.” You waved as you pushed it open and continued your walk to the school. 

Your breakfast usually consisted of a trip to that very convenient store, and the occasional dinner, and light midnight snack. You never really had time to make breakfast and lunch for your day while getting yourself ready for school. With your parents gone most of the time you had to manage yourself. But you didn’t mind it, you understood the implications of the life your family lived.

Your father was traveling most of the year for his job as a wildlife photographer, and your mother was with your grandfather in Tokyo. She had made the decision to leave when your grandfather, her father became ill. Grandma had passed away when you were younger, too little to really remember her face, but old enough to remember the feeling of walking hand and hand with her in the gardens you tended together. Grandpa decided to keep the house and live by himself that same year. The memories weighed too heavy on you and your family to tear that away from him. 

You had told your parents it was fine to leave you with the house while they were away, you used the excuse that it would teach you responsibility. You could get a part time job and focus on your studies. You did end up doing just that, but it was also nice having the alone time so many adolescents craved. 

Slowly your school came into view as your morning walk ended. Aoba Johsai, it was the school your mother went to as a kid and now you were rounding out your years as a student as well. You walked through the gates of your school as you searched around for the group of students that would be crowding around the homeroom assignments for the year.

“F/N- chan!”You looked around, greeted by your two favorite idiots pushing past the groups of students walking through the front gates behind you.

Hiroto, a pole of a boy. He sported a pair of glasses and his usual brown bowl cut. He had looked the same since you met him, just slightly taller as the years went by. He had the same dull white tennis shoes on as he had for the past three years. You wondered why he had never gone out to buy a new pair. He had the money and the time. But he still saw the use in them, the beauty he would say. He saw that in a lot of things. That was probably why he had a permanent smile tugging at his lips. His sunny disposition on life couldn’t be dampened, no matter the storm. 

Yua had been that perpetual storm. Not in the dark and gloomy sense, she was more like a hurricane. Everything she did was a whirlwind of emotions and energy. She did everything on a whim. Led by her heart, never her head. You could tell that just by looking at her. Her hair was freshly bleached, a stark change from the dark green you had seen only months before. Her hair was much shorter now as well, messily chopped just below her ears. Her appearance changed with the seasons, always slightly bolder each time. She was bold with everything she did, unwavering and powerful. But nonetheless devoted and caring to everyone around her, that was the trait that drew you to her in the end. 

Next to each other, they looked completely out of place. But together you made something special. You balanced each other out, each giving one another the friendship you all had desperately sought after in your early years. They were your best friends, your only friends. 

You had met Hiroto a few days after moving to Japan with your family. He was the son of one of your mother’s fellow professors at Tokyo University. They had stuck you in a room with the quiet boy one morning during a staff meeting. He had inched toward you over the course of the hour, head tilted to the side in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the game that lit up your GameBoy screen. You had caught on after a while, getting up to sit next to him. He silently thanked you, watching you pass level after level. As time went on watching, turned into playing, playing turned into talking, and talking turned into “Mom can Hiroto come over for dinner tonight, I want to show him the dog across the street.” It had been a quick growing friendship, you two meshed together so well it was almost like he was meant to be your best friend. 

Yua on the other hand was the polar opposite. She had at one point been the worst part of your days in fourth year.

Everyday she would pick fights with you. Most days it was innocent enough, she would push you, maybe call you silly names. But you had always ignored her, unfazed by the gremlin child you were forced to interact with everyday. You could tell the lack of attention bothered her, and she was going to get a reaction out of you one way or another.

She had stated it was because your hair was all over her desk and she was tired of moving it out of the way, but you knew better. Over the course of the lesson Yua would snicker to herself, a little evil laugh echoing behind you every time you tried to move away from her. She had always been a bit strange to you, but the vocality of today’s evil acts were putting you on edge. The lunch bell rang and you were ready to get away from whatever she was doing behind you. You stood up, stepping on a layer of h/c strands splayed out on the floor below your desk. You turned around, horrified by the tight grin that painted the girl’s face. In her hand was a pair of craft scissors, in the other was a fistful of your hair. 

Mean words were exchanged, fists were thrown. Before you knew it you both were landed in after school detention for the foreseeable weeks to come. During those after school hours was when she grew on you. She opened up to you over the year, showing her kind and caring nature in small bits and pieces. She was still an absolute goblin most days, her nasty jealousy streak peaking through in her worst moments. But she loved and cared for everyone she met, and you saw it. She just had a chaotic, overbearing way of showing it. It took years to work your way up to the friendship you both had now, it also took years to grow your beautiful hair back to it’s original glory.

“Have you looked at your homeroom assignment yet?” Hiroto smiled once he reached you.

“Not yet, I just got here a few minutes before you two.” You answered, wrapping an arm around the both of them as you pulled them into a hug.

“Aww F/N, it’s been weeks since we’ve seen you. That stupid job at the coffee shop kept you away from us.” Yua frowned, groaning into your hold.

“Well it was only a summer job so you can annoy me all you want now.” You laughed, pulling them towards the crowd of students.

“Hiroto-kun, can you see any of our names, all these BEAN STALKS are blocking the way!” Yua yelled at the students crowding the listings. 

“Yeah I see all of our names by each other, we’re in…homeroom…five I think.” Hiroto craned his neck to see over the heads in front of him, squinting at the small text. 

“Who’s the teacher this year?” You questioned, looking up at him as he decoded the lines in front of him.

“It says Sugawara. I think he’s new, he wasn’t here last year.” Sinking back onto the soles of his shoes Hiroto pulled you and Yua out of the crowd and towards the school entrance. 

“Sugawara just started this year.” Smiled a girl next to you as you made your way inside. 

“Yeah, he’s supposedly pretty young, and attractive.” Her friend smiled slyly at the last bit, nudging you with her shoulder as you moved past her to your shoe locker. 

“As long as he can teach this idiot math I’m sure he will be a great sensei!” Yua laughed as she ruffled up your hair. 

“I’m not that dumb. But it would be nice if he would be nicer about my questions, unlike Shirato Sensei.” You shivered at the thought of your teacher last year. Taking off your shoes you slipped them into your locker, sliding your feet into the assigned slippers on the floor. You closed the door, the lock clicking as you turned to walk with your friends.

It was your last year at this school, your last year with your friends. You had already decided to attend Tokyo University the following year, it was a dream to finally be closer to your mother. Hiroto was destined to inherit his father’s small but profitable insurance business. Yua, well who knows what she was gonna do at the end of the year, she probably didn’t even have lunch figured out for the day. 

You walked with your friends as you made your way towards your classroom for the year. You were engrossed in the conversation they were having on last night’s newest anime episode. You had no clue what show they were watching, or who any of the characters were. But you loved to listen to their passionate debates, the small rise Yua got from Hiroto always making you laugh. You would miss this when school was over, so you basked in it. The feeling of happiness that only they could give you. 

A hand on your shoulder turned you away from your bickering friends. Turning around, you were met with a pair of honey eyes, Yoshiki. 

“Hey, I was calling you but I don’t think you heard me.” He laughed, his eyes soft and uncertain as he looked between you and your friends. 

“Oh, i’m sorry. It’s hard to hear anything over these two.” You smiled, laughing as you pointed to the two of them. The bell rang, giving you the chance of escape. You pushed your two friends on as you waved a goodbye to Yoshiki. 

He raised his hand, giving you a small wave as you rushed down the hallway.

“That was weird, does he still talk to you?” Yua questioned, looking back at the confused boy.

“No, we haven’t talked since winter break last year.” You frowned as you pushed them inside the classroom. It was for a good reason, you didn’t know what to say to the boy. If you had found the words before maybe the awkward interaction could have been avoided, but that time had since passed. 

You found some nice seats by the window, a reward for being the first few into the classroom. The room was located on the third floor of the school. The window had a beautiful view of the schools court yard and all the trees surrounding it. Yua took the seat in front of you while Hiroto sat in the seat across from you. You had taken this seating arrangement since the beginning of fifth year, it was tradition. Watching the rest of your class file inside, they slowly choose their seats as the classroom filled up. You watched the clock tick the seconds away as you waited for your first class to start. 

The final bell rang and everyone sank into their seats as they continued talking to each other. A few minutes passed before the door to the classroom slid open and a man walked in looking at the bundle of papers in his hand. The students quieted in unison as he made his way to the desk at the front of the room, setting down his papers and coffee cup before turning toward the chalkboard. He picked up one of the larger white chalk pieces that sat on the small shelf underneath.

“I’m Sugawara-sensei, I’ll be your homeroom teacher as well as your science teacher this year.” He wrote his name on the board as well as the period times. Once the full schedule was written down he turned around, a wide smile directed at the students in front of him. Setting down the chalk, he reached for the attendance sheets on his desk. 

The girls you saw at the lockers were right, he was attractive. Was that the right word to use? Maybe encaptivating was better in this situation. 

His soft grey hair fell around his face, framing each one of his delicate features. His hazel eyes scanned the room as he talked. They were deep and full, like a cup of coffee with just the right amount of cream. You followed the curves of his face to the small beauty mark under his eye, over his petite nose, acrossed his milky white skin, to his soft pink lips. You watched them as he spoke, coming apart, pressing back together. You were mesmerized by them, by him. 

He flashed a smile your way and tilted his head opening his mouth again. 

Yua touched your shoulder lightly, noise flooding your senses. You looked around the room at the eyes that laid on you, and you alone. 

“L/N- san, that is your name right?” Sugawara questioned.

You looked up at the man standing at the front of the class. His words directed at you as he stared your way with a sweet grin. 

“Um yes Sugawara-sensei, i’m sorry…” You trailed off as your face heated up. 

He laughed lightly as he continued the roll call, his eyes shifting from you to the next student. 

How embarrassing you thought, “Everyone probably saw how I was staring at him.” You signed, laying your head in your hands.

“Ok, well let’s get onto our morning meets and then we can discuss how I expect my class to be run.” Sugawara led everyone’s eyes up to the chalkboard while he continued on with the morning information. 

You tried to focus on his words, you really did. But you were just a teenage girl, your mind wandered. It wandered to his frame, he wasn’t the tallest teacher you had at the school, maybe around 5’8- 5’9 but he would tower over you. He was what the magazines would call slim fit, maybe more on the fit side. You watched as he continued to write on the chalkboard, his arm muscles tensing against his white button up, then relaxing as the fabric loosened again.

“Hey stupid, pay attention!” Yua harshly whispered over to you, pulling you out of your inappropriate thoughts. 

Your face began to bake again as you shook your head slightly and smiled apologetically at her. “He’s your teacher idiot, stop drooling over him and focus for Christ sake.” You warned yourself as you set in to focusing on the information he wrote on the board.

Sugawara had already moved on to the itinerary of the class schedules and when he would be back to teach science for the day. Pointing to the last class of the day a girl at the back of the class raised her hand pulling his attention away from the board.

“Hmm, yes…Hina?” He pointed at the girl who seemed pleased that he already remembered her name. 

“Sensei could you tell us a little about yourself since it’s your first year at Seijo?” She questioned, ready for him to deny such a rude request. 

“Um, well I guess I could tell you a few things about myself.” He hummed in response, sitting down on top of his desk. “I just graduated college last year in the spring so this is my first real teaching job, i’ll be helping out with the volleyball teams here at Seijo when I have free time, and…” He paused for a moment, glancing at the book on his desk. “Well I really like poetry.” He smiled at the last fact before standing back up.

“It’s time for college prep courses, so go ahead and start your independent studies and I’ll call you up one at a time so we can start your files.” Sugawara sat down in his desk chair and pulled out a paper from his pile. “Ok, Hiroto you can come up and take a seat.” Sugawara pointed to the chair next to his desk as he flipped through the papers. 

“So now I know why you liked “Lolita” so much.” Yua snickered as she pulled her desk next to you. “You practically had a drool puddle on your desk Y/N-chan.”

“Oh shut up, it won’t happen again. I just didn’t expect him to be so, I don’t know, beautiful.” You puffed as you pulled out your summer reading.

“BEAUTIFUL?” Yua shouted, pushing away your hand as you rushed to hush her. The eyes of classmates landed on the both of you as well as Sugawara’s from the front of the room. 

“Independent study is independent.” Sugawara reprimanded as his gaze rested on you.

“I’m sorry sensei.“ You apologized, looking over to Yua who was busy avoiding both of your heated gazes.

Sugawara turned his attention back to Hiroto and you looked back down at your desk. 

“Yua, do you have to be so loud? Just do your summer work.” You whispered harshly, opening up your book and turning away from her.

The minutes ticked by as Sugawara called each student to the front of the room for the individual college discussions they would have. This would be a bi-weekly thing he would have to do, during this time he would guide the students on the right path to getting into the schools they wished to pursue. It was his job as your homeroom teacher to make sure you knew what you were doing after you walked out those doors and on to college.

“L/N- san, it’s your turn to come up.” Sugawara was monotoned, flipping through to your file.

You turned away from your book to see Sugawara motioning for you to come up and take a seat, his eyes trained on the papers in front of him.

You gathered your belongings, making your way to the front of the room. You stood awkwardly next to the chair beside him, eyeing the light wood of the seat. 

He looked up at you and back down to the seat before smiling, “Come on, take a seat. I promise I won’t take long.”

You slowly sat down, scooting the chair a few inches away from his own as you handed him your papers. 

He responded to this by moving his chair closer. “Ok so what college did you pick…” He mumbled while looking through your documents. “Tokyo University, that’s where I went, and you’re gonna go for a culinary degree?” He caulked his head slightly, looking up at you.

You nodded, earning a smile. “I um, I liked to bake stuff. Like cakes and pie and pastries…” You trailed off as you looked down at the desk. The bell rang, signaling that it was time to leave for your club introductions. You started to stand up as Sugawara put a hand in front of you motioning for you to stay seated. 

“I’ll see you soon class!” He waved as everyone walked out of the classroom, the butterflies settling into your stomach as the last student closed the door behind them. It was probably out of courtesy, but for you it was a death sentence.

“Well if you ever need someone to sample your recipes you’re welcome to bring them in.” He continued, flashing you a soft smile as he held your gaze. 

For a third time in one period your face heated up as he continued to look your way. Your eyes trying to fix on anything but him. Finally he looked back to the papers and flipped through them.

“Well your test scores are decent, but your math may need some working on if you want to pass the entrance exam, and your class finals.” It sounded more like a threat then friendly advice as the words left his lips. He winced slightly as he saw you sink into your seat, he had not meant for it to sound that way. 

You nodded, playing with your fingers as you stammered. “Math is my worst subject. I have a hard time with it. No matter how much time I put into it, it just doesn’t make sense.” You paused before going on. “But I’m going to focus on it this year. Since I quit volleyball I’ll have more time to study.” You sighed, mad about the decision. 

“Volleyball, what position?” He perked up at the mention of the sport, leaning in closer. 

“I was the team’s main setter sensei.” You finally looked up at him, but the eye contact didn’t last long when you saw his smile.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll find you a tutor for math twice a week, but only if you come back to the team.” He closed your file, pushing it into the pile. 

You looked up in shock. “Sensei I, yes please. I tried to sign up for one but they were all assigned to students.” You sat up in your chair, taken aback by such a kind gesture. 

Smiling he stood up and you took it as your sign too as well.

“Then it’s a deal. Go find the volleyball team in the gym for the meeting and I’ll let you know who I find at the end of the day.” He walked towards the classroom door, opening it. 

You nodded and started towards the door. “Thank you sensei!” You smiled as you walked past him, bowing slightly before running down the hallway. 

He waited till he couldn’t hear your steps before he made his way back to his desk. He sank back down into his seat and let his head drop down into his hand, “Sugawara Koushi, what the hell are you doing?”


	2. Chapter 2

The doors were right in front of you, an arms length away. All it took was for you to reach out and pull them open, that’s all it would take for you to enter the volleyball gym. But god those doors were heavy. You tried to pull them open, you really did. But they weighed so much. 

Maybe it wasn’t the door now that you thought about it, maybe it was your heart that was heavy. You remembered the faces of your teammates when you told them you didn’t want to come back. How disappointed they all looked, how disappointed they were. You loved volleyball, you practiced every second you had, it was your outlet for all the frustrations you had but could never talk about. 

But you were a burden to the team. All the missed practices you had accumulated from bad grades, from lack of motivation to do something about it. All of it started to affect your games. 

You knew you shouldn’t have been the main setter, they had three other girls just as good if not better on the bench. All of them glaring at you while you missed set after set. You knew you could make them, at least you knew you could have made them. But you lost sight of what it felt like to have your teammates trust. It was all gone, and so was your need to be on the team. 

You were already turned around and walking away when the doors opened and a head popped out. 

“L/N?….L/N get inside of here you ass.” The voice was stern, but familiar. 

You turned around to see the smiling face of your best friend, Yua. She opened the door wider as you sondered inside, not having the heart to look at the faces of the teammates that watched as you passed by. 

“What are you doing here L/N, didn’t you want to quit?” Semi question as she walked up to you. 

“I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t be here after the fight we had but you were right. I want to work hard and make the team proud, I want to be a part of the team again.” You looked up at the new team captain, she deserved the title. She hadn’t left like you. She was devoted to the team.

Semi looked you up and down before taking a step back. She shook her head, a displeased looked creeping across her face.

Your heart sank at the sight.They really didn’t want you on the team, you had done your damage. Tears brimmed your eyes as you nodded, it wasn’t your choice after all. “I’m sorry guy, I should have…” but you were cut short as a ball connected with the back of your head. Turning around you watched as Yua crumpled over in tears, gasping for air as she rolled around the gym floor. 

You looked around the gym, confusion thick on your brow as you fought to understand what just happened. 

“Look at your ridiculous face, did you really think we wouldn’t let you come back?” Semi chuckled, pointing a finger at the face you were still making. “You really are an idiot you know, we were waiting for you to start the meeting”. She outstretched an arm your way, pulling you into her side as she guided you to the group of waiting students.

“Wait was Yua planning on doing that all along?” You wined, massaged the sore spot on your head. You could still hear her gasping laughs, turning more into cries the longer she held her sides.

“I don’t know, probably, she was standing there ready to serve the entire time.” Yami laughed. She was now vice captain, and most likely in on the entire joke. “We missed you all summer stupid, we can’t practice without a setter.” She moved to the side, leaving room for you to sit beside her in the semi circle. 

“You all waited for me, even when you had other setters? And you call me stupid..” You trailed off, a soft smile pulling at the corners of your lips. You turned around at the sound of a loud slap, ducking out of the way of an incoming ball. You looked back up, glaring at a red faced Yua. 

“Too much?” She teased, walking over to join you.

You sat down with your team and listened to them go over everything the club entailed to the new first years.You missed this, it had only been a few months, but that was long enough to make you realise how much you loved being here. 

Semi put an arm around your neck, pulling you closer as she pointed. “…and if you think about ditching out on us, you can do digging drills all night, just like L/N is gonna do at practice tomorrow.” She laughed along with the rest of the first years, but you knew better. It wasn’t a joke, she was going to make an example out of you. 

Your face fell, you lied, you hated it here. 

Soon the club meeting was over and it was time to return to class. You walked out of the gym with Yua, the both of you making way for the remainder of your classes. 

“You should probably take this so you don’t look like a loser at tournaments.” Yua grinned, pulling your club jacket from her backpack. She dropped it in your arms, happy to be rid of the added weight. 

“You planned this, didn’t you? Did you know Sugawara-sensei would help me find a tutor for math?” You questioned, tucking the jacket into your own bag. The familiar nylon brushing your hand as you zipped it closed.

Yua looked at you weird before shaking her head, “No, but that’s nice of him. I was just hoping you would show up and cry a little.” 

”Huh, I guess he is just being nice. I should probably thank him for going out of his way for me.” You muttered, more to yourself. It wasn’t unheard of for teachers to care about their students. But it was the first day of school, and he had just met you. 

You walked into the classroom behind her, most of the class already full with excited chatter.

“Yeah, probably. Just don’t pass out while you’re talking to him.” Yua teased as you both walked to your seats. 

Hiroto waved goodbye to his teammates as he walked over to his. “Guess who’s team captain this year!” He beamed as he sat down, eyebrows raised in excitement. 

“Toshi, I already heard.” Yua was monotone, smirking as Hiroto’s smile turned quite literally upside down. 

“Man, I was at least hoping you would take the bait.” He pouted, sinking into his seat. 

Soon after the bell rang and everyone settled into their seats. Sugawara walked out from the corner office closing the door behind him.“I hope your club meetings went well.” He smiled over at you, gazes lingering on one another as he sat down at his desk. “Go ahead and take out your biology books and go to the first chapter.” He forced his eyes from your own, making an effort to engage in the other students as he opened his own book. 

Opening up your book you sifted through pages until you were on chapter one. “And here is the boring stuff, I remember when the first day of school was all fun, no learning.” You sighed as you listened to Sugawara read from the book. Watching as he drew the diagrams onto the chalkboard, each one mirroring the picture perfectly. You cursed the hands you had been given. “He has nice handwriting, he can draw well. He isn’t even looking at the book, he’s doing this from memory! I couldn’t even draw a cat … everyone thought it was a cucumber.” He labeled out the parts of the diagram, defining the words as he went on. Even in his beautiful voice the passages made you want to bang your head on the desk. 

Before long the period was over and it was his turn to leave for his next lesson. He packed up his belongings before walking over to your desk. You looked up to meet his smile as he rested a hand on your text book. “I’ll meet you here after your last period so we can talk about the tutoring, ok?” He readjusted the loosely held books in his arms, his grip faltering when you returned the smile. 

“Yes Sugawara-sensei.”You agreed, taken aback by how close he was. You had sat closer to him during your morning meeting, but it felt different looking up at him like this. You felt so small.

He nodded back to you, waving a hurried goodbye to the class before exiting the room. 

That was the first time you felt it, a heated gaze burning into the back of your head. You turned around to see two girls towards the back of the classroom, they scoffed when you met their leer, turning back to each other. 

“Oh no, F/N-chan, you better watch out for Sugawara’s fanclub.” Hiroto laughed, mocking the girls behind him. 

“F-fanclub, since when did he have a fanclub?’’ There was no way he had a fanclub on his first day, that was just insane. You knew of a few teachers that had that kind of attention, but they had been with the school for years. Even in that time they had only a handful of students that you could even call “fans”.

“During the club meeting a bunch of girls stayed behind and followed him around the school asking him questions, they were like vultures. Teenage girls scare me…” Hiroto trailed off as he shuttered, he couldn’t imagine a worse hell. 

“Gross pubescent girls.” you shivered as the next teacher walked in to start your lesson for the day. Maybe they would go away. Most of the time the infatuation died off, before long they would be on to someone new. 

Class went by fast, it was easy to focus once Sugawara was gone. It didn’t mean you understood anything your teacher had said about the math problems written on the board. But at least now you could try. Soon the bell rang and it was time for lunch. Kids started to shuffle out the door to the cafeteria as you stood up, lunch in tow as they rushed towards the cafeteria. 

You stood up, walking with your friends as the tail end of the group dispersed into the halls. Turning the corner you bumped into someone, taking a few steps back you looked up at the two girls in front of you. 

“Hey, Sugawara-sensei was talking to you, why?” One girl titled her head, her question sitting heavy in the air between the two of you. 

“Um, well he’s finding me a tutor for math. He was just telling me when to meet him so he could go over the details.” You gave her a soft smile in an attempt to ease the tension she had created.

“Cool, after he’s done you can leave him alone.” She smiled back, the plastic shine visible on her glossed lips. 

You were caught off guard by her sudden rudeness, opening your mouth to protest.

“Do you have a crush on him? How pathetic, he’s your teacher.” Yua laughed as she pushed herself in between you and the girls. “Did you run out of boys to chase Hina? Did they see how much of a troll you really are?” She gave the girls a concerned look, pouting slightly. 

Hina bit her lip, looking over at the approaching group of teachers as they made their way down the hall. She pulled her friends sleeve roughly, tugging her down the hallway behind her.

“Bye, bye!” Hiroto waved sweetly at the girls as he pulled you along with them to the cafeteria.

“You are a trouble magnet, but you never do anything about it! Grow a backbone Y/N.” Yua complained, glancing back at you. Her scowl turned soft as he looked at your sullen features.

“Ok.” You mumbled as you followed on their heels. 

“You’re so snappy with us, why can’t you say things like that to all the people who give you a hard time?” Hiroto questioned as he placed a hand on your back, not wanting to push your mood further. 

“I don’t know.” You sighed as you entered the cafeteria. You just wanted your classmates to leave you alone. You never caused problems for them, but they all seemed to want to cause them for you. Your mother had told you early on it was because you were different, foreigners always had a hard time adjusting in different countries. It would be different if the teasing had stopped when you were a child, but it didn’t. Each year it was someone new, the teasing topics becoming repetitive. You had tried your hardest to blend in, just wanting to disappear into the numbers of students that walked the hallways. But someone had it out to get you, you just knew it. “So be it, only one more year of these private school shits.”

Lunch came and passed, just as the rest of your classes did. You didn’t feel like being present anymore, it was silly to be upset over something as dumb as girls getting on your case for talking to your teacher about school. I mean, you figured that was one of the reasons you would talk to a teacher, for help at school. But here you were in your own little self pity bubble. You hated when you did this, but you hated everything else around you more, so you stayed inside it. The final bell rang, pinging throughout your brain hitting every nerve on it’s way out.

“Do you want us to wait for you to finish your talk with Sugawara-sensei?” Hiroto leaned over as he pushed his books into his bag. The concerned look had found it’s way onto his face before lunch and had lingered around ever since.

“No, I’m fine. Go ahead and head home.” Smiling, you cleaned up your belongings and placed them inside your bag, you wanted the alone time anyways.

Your friends walked out of the classroom, waving a small goodbye as they disappeared from your view. The rest of the students finished up and left for the day as the classroom cleaning was over. Before long you were the last one in the room, sitting at your desk as the hallway noise died down. The minutes ticked by as you waited for Sugawara, your eyes shifting to the door every time you heard the soft sound off feet down the hall. Soon enough an hour had passed with no sign of him, and so did you hope of getting the math help you desperately wanted. Just one more thing to add to your shit things that happened today list. 

You put on your coat slowly, pulling your bag over your head. You adjusted it on your shoulder before giving the clock one final look. It was time to go home.

No one was staying after school for clubs today so it was just you in the school, your feet sounding ungodly loud as they echoed off the empty hallway walls. You were close to the staircase when your ears perked at the sound of your name being shouted down the hall. Peaking your head out from behind the corner of the wall you caught sight of Sugawara running down the hallway towards you. He waved for you to stop, slowing down slightly. 

You wondered how far he had ran, his plees airy and rushed as he approached you. “Sensei?” you stepped out from behind the wall, walking over to his hunched over frame.

He had his hands on his knees as he fought for each breath, after a few seconds he turned his head toward you flashing you a brilliant smile. “I’m sorry L/N-san, I was stuck in a meeting in the west building. When I saw the time I rushed over here. I’m glad I caught you before you left..” He looked over you apologetically, guilt building as you returned his smile. He shouldn’t have felt this way. You were just a student he hardly knew, he could have talked to you in the morning. His fellow teachers laughed at him for being so worried about making you wait, after all he was the sensei. But he couldn’t get that sad look he knew had adorned your face out of his mind. He hated the thought of letting you down. 

“It’s ok sensei, you didn’t have to run all the way over here. If you are too busy we can just talk tomorrow!” You smiled, turning towards the stairs. 

“Come on, let’s go back to the room and talk” Sugawara stood up, shaking his head at the notion.

You turned around, confused why he was making so much time for you already. 

Sugawara turned around, waving at you to hurry. 

You jumped slightly, picking up your pace to catch up to his long strides. 

“How was the rest of your day L/N-san?” Sugawara asked once you were beside him.

It was sweet hearing him concerned with your day, something you weren’t used to hearing.“It was ok I guess.” You shrugged as you walked back into the classroom. It was sweet, but you didn’t need to elaborate on the shit day you had had. 

You sat down at a desk near the front of the room and he followed sitting on the desk next to your own. He looked over you for a moment, chewing at his cheek. “So, I couldn’t find you an available school tutor.” He dragged out the sentence, his tone wavering as you looked down at your hands.“But I have a solution.” 

You looked back up, nodding for him to go on.

“So, either I can give you some extra homework and we can go over it in class. Or I can tutor you twice a week?” It sounded more like a question then an additional option, his confidence fleeting at the thought of spending more time with you. 

“Well I mean what if we did both? I mean the more help the better right?” You perked up at the extra opportunity, anything to ensure your spot on the volleyball team.

He chuckled, nodding in agreement.“So we can meet on Mondays and Fridays after school if that works for you?” He was honestly always free, but he knew those were the days you didn’t have practice. He wanted to make it as easy as possible for you.

You were elated, not only were you gonna play volleyball again with his help, but maybe even understand a lesson or two as well. “Thank you so much Sugawara-senpai” You gushed, standing up suddenly. 

His cheek couldn’t help but heat up at the change of honorifics used. He knew it was silly to be caught off guard by you calling him senpai, it was just another term for his relationship with you as student and teacher. But you said it with so much endearment, he knew you would be the death of him. “Let me walk you out.” He smiled, standing up. 

As you both walked to the door he put his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out the door and down the hallway to the staircases. You remained silent, too focused on the heat permeating your skin. His touch was hot even through your thick coat, the warmth comforting on your cold skin. He removed his hand as you stopped at the shoe lockers, the burn of his fingertips slowly receding from your back. 

“How did your volleyball club meeting go today?” His velvet voice broke the silence, his eyes watched as you slipped on your shoes. Your small fingers fumbling with the laces of your shoes. He could have sworn he saw them shaking slightly as you pulled on the strings. 

Despite your nerves, this felt nice being next to him. Talking casually, it almost felt normal. “It went good, they let me back on the team. But captain Semi was already writing up conditioning punishments when I left.” you laughed, tucking your slippers into the locker. He closed it slowly, trying to drag out the conversation. 

“Sounds like you’re in trouble.” He smiled as he held the school doors open for you. 

“Thank you again Sugawara-senpai, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me.” You walked past him, standing in the doorway. You turned around again to face him, the final look of the day upon you. 

“It’s no problem L/N-san, I’ll always make time for you.“ Realisation set in as he saw the pink creep up your cheeks, before he could think of something to say you gave him a stiff bow.

“Goodbye Sugawara-senpai!” You shouted, turning to leave. You hurried towards the school gates, practically running for the train station. 

He really did it now, if it wasn’t enough that he had developed an interest in his student on the first day of school, now he was actively flustering her. “Sugawara, what is wrong with you?” 

You rushed home, your mind working just as fast as your little feet were caring you. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that right, he just meant that he would make time for you because you’re a student and I’m a teacher and that’s what teachers do. He definitely wasn’t going out of his way to help just you. He would do it for any student, because he’s your teacher and that’s it.” 

You boarded the train home, mind racing at the day that had just unfolded for you. Before long you were at your front door, pushing it open and stepping inside. The living room was dark, silent as you took off your shoes. “I must be crazy, absolutely insane” You exhaled, finally in the safety of your own home. “There is no way I like my fucking teacher.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sunlight peeked through your blinds as the soft vibrations from your phone woke you from your dreams. Opening one eye you turned to look at the digital clock on your desk next to your bed. It was 6:00 a.m, time for you to get ready for the day. Lifting your legs into the air you rotated side to side, gathering enough momentum for you to roll yourself off the bed. 

Soft padded footsteps echoed through the silent house as you meandered to the bathroom. You ran your hand over the wall a few times, finally hitting the light switch. The lights flickered on, your eyes burning at the sudden shift in brightness. You rubbed circles on them with your palms, fuzzy white dots filling your vision. 

After the blurry vision dissipated you took a look at your groggy state. Most of the hair that had been inside of your bun had found it’s way out, standing up in various directions. The underneath of your eyes were sunken and dark, but this was normal. Tired was just another word to describe your features at this point. Taking out your hair tie you combed through your nest like hair while turning on the shower, attempting to guide the temperature to a desirable position.

Stripping yourself of your nightly bedwear, you stepped inside and pulled the door closed. You recoiled as the cold water hit your back, cursing as you adjusted the temperature once again. Your morning showers were quick, only for the purpose of taming your bedhead, you showered at night for cleanliness. You ran through your morning shower cycle quickly before shutting off the water. You felt around for your towel, grabbing at nothing. You pulled open the shower door, glaring at the empty towel rod. You look in a deep breath, sprinting out of the warm bathroom and into the cold hallway. You b-lined for the linen closet, practically ripping it off it’s hinges as you pulled something warm and fuzzy out of the dark hole in the wall. 

After your refreshing, brisk morning run you towel dried you and your wet feet prints.You peaked out of the bathroom again, looking at the bright red numbers on your clock, 6:15. 

Next you brushed your hair, teeth, and dressed yourself for class. Today’s dress was for the most part what you wore every day. A short sleeved light blue button up, a faded red tie (the same one you had received on your first day of first year), your tan plaid pleated shirt, black knee high socks, and to top it off the one thing you could change as you pleased. Most days you opted for the light cream colored sweater vest under your white school jacket, but today felt like a cream cardigan kind of day instead. Most likely because the news reports called for a rainy day today, but also because you wanted to mix it up. 

Your makeup was easy to put on, your hair was just as simple. You had always liked leaving it down but always brought a ponytail just in case. The watch ticking away on your wrist read 6:45, your morning was passing by fast. You gathered your bag and coat before walking downstairs and laying them on the couch. 

Pulling open the fridge doors you pulled out everything you had prepped the night before, all you really had to do was assemble it in your lunch box and you could leave for school. Once you finished that you put it all away and placed your lunch in your bag before pulling on your coat and situating your bag on your shoulder. Walking out the door you locked it behind you and started your walk to school.

Your trip was always the longest part of your day, you had chosen Sejoh because of the impact it had on your moms adolescent life, sure it was out of the way. But that’s what legs and trains were for right? 

It took you approximately an hour and fifteen minutes to get to the school from your house. In that time you would walk fifteen minutes to the train station, take two different trains to the station by the school, and walk another ten minutes to the actual school. As long as you were on time, the distance didn’t matter. 

You liked to use the time for writing, mostly songs. It was a hobby only your friends knew about, they also were the only two who knew about the band you had joined last year. It was never an end game option for you, no career would ever come out of the group of ragtag college students who had formed the group years ago. But they were nice enough to let you sing for them when the original member had graduated and moved on from the dream. As long as you could come up with songs, and of course make the time for practice, well they liked having you around. 

You would love to tell the volleyball club about what you did during your weekends away from the club and schoolwork. You probably would have if it wasn’t for the looming threat of every single shitty dive bar you performed at finding out that you indeed were seventeen (going on eighteen, that was important), and in fact not twenty one. But whatever, you were having fun. 

You walked past the front gates and into the lockers at around 8:10, twenty minutes before classes would start. Siding on your slippers you placed your practice gear and outside shoes inside your locker. Today would be your first practice back, it was exciting to say the least.

“Hey, we haven’t talked in awhile.” A sweet voice turned your attention away from your thoughts. 

“Yoshiki, hi.” You looked the boy over in surprise, the morning fog still leaving your brain.

“So your homeroom teacher this year is Sugawara-sensei huh? He comes to my class after lunch for science. He seems nice, he made some really bad science jokes yesterday when he introduced himself.” Yoshiki laughed as he remembered the not so funny pun. It reminded you both of simpler, less uncomfortable times you both shared so long ago. 

“I wish I could have heard them.” You giggled, mostly with Yoshiki and less at the statement. I felt nice to take in the easy feeling of being together again, even if it was fleeting. “He was pretty straightforward with the homeroom class. Probably because Yua wouldn’t shut up.”You walked with him down the hallway, his pace matching with yours as you talked.

“I could tell you some of them over lunch.” He paused as you reached your classroom door, his foot digging into the tile. “Unless things are still weird between us?” He couldn’t meet your eyes, his heart pounding in his chest. You had rejected him once, could twice be just as bad?

“Sure, that would be great. Since we ruled out the potentially dating option, all that’s left is to go back to being friends again.” You let out an out of place laugh, your enthusiasm forced. You felt awkward, your attempt at mending the relationship uncomfortable to your own ears. 

He on the other hand smiled, it seemed to be just the words he was hoping for. He gave you a brief wave before leaving for his own classroom.

He was right, things were still weird between you. But that’s what happens when you fall in love for the first time, try to go on a date, and run away from said date leaving him alone, and then proceed to ignore his calls all winter break. The least you could be was give him a lunch period to feel things out.

You made your way into the classroom, greeting a few students before setting your things down at your desk. Yua and Hiroto were already sitting at their desks when you slid into your seat next to them. 

“Good morning F/N-chan.” They greeted, the unity of their tone made you giggle. 

“No coffee this morning?” Hiroto questioned as he looked at your usually occupied hand. 

“I’m gonna try and quit drinking it so much, save some extra money…” You frowned already painfully aware of the lack of caffeination.

“You’re like an addict!” Yua laughed, “I give you a week tops before you crash.”

“Thanks for the support!” You chirped, pinching her exposed arm. You shook your head as she hissed at the pain, the morning bell drowning out her cursing.

Sugawara walked in on cue holding a mug of coffee and a black binder. “Good Morning class.” He smiled as he set down the items on his desk.

“You look nice today Sugawara-sensei!”A voice spoke from somewhere behind you. You needn’t look behind you, the high pitched tone was easy to pick out. 

“Thank you.” He smoothed out his suit jacket, nodding in appreciation. His eyes scanned the room before landing on you. “L/N-san, will you come up and take roll for me please?” He gave you a sweet smile, wiggling the board your way. 

“Yes sensei.” You moved your chair back and made your way up to the front of the room. He stood on the other side of his desk, reaching across to take the clipboard and pen from his hands.

“This one is you.” He pointed to your name and smiled sweetly,“Don’t forget this time ok?”

The class laughed at his teasing remark as you slid the pen out of his hand.

“Yes, sensei.” You mocked him in your head as you walked to the middle of the room looking around the class as you checked off the names. “Maybe if you didn’t walk into class trying to fluster me I wouldn’t have such a hard time functioning.” You finished and handed the board back to him, giving him a forced smile.

“Thank you, you can go sit down now.” He glanced up from his syllabus before sliding it out of your hand. 

Taking your seat again he began the homeroom meeting for the day. It was the same information, just saying what events the school had going on, what the menu was for the day, and if any school deadlines were coming up. Then he broke the class up for independent study as he pulled students to the front for their daily college discussion. Next week this would become a weekly discussion as homeroom would turn into a study hall period for students to get help on school work. 

You were waiting for your turn as the bell rang signaling for the classroom switches. You were a bit sad that you had been the only one left out for the day’s discussions, maybe more so that you couldn’t talk to Sugawara. 

Everyone waved a goodbye to Sugawara as he exited the classroom and your next teacher settled into the next subject. Class passed by as usual, your attention fading in and out as you watched out the window. The grey storm clouds had started to roll in as the sky darkened. The sun had permanently tucked behind the clouds around noon, the chill of threatening rain permeating the window next to you.

Before long the bell rang and students made for the cafeteria. As the crowd dispersed, Yoshiki peaked his head in at you and your group of friends. 

“Hey, are you eating in here today?” He made his way over to your desk holding his own bento box. 

“Yeah, you can stay with us if you want.” You beamed as he pulled a chair over to your desk and set his lunch down. It was cutely wrapped, the cloth around it was bordered with brightly colored dinosaurs, as he opened it so were most of the food wrappers. 

“It’s my little brother’s box I promise, he took my lunch this morning when he left.His cheeks tinted pink as he shook his head back and forth. He placed both hands over the box, covering it from view.

Giggling you placed a hand over his “It’s ok, dinosaurs are pretty cool.” He relaxed into his seat as you opened your own box. 

“Oh Sugawara-sensei, do you need the classroom?” Hiroto asked as Sugawara walked over to his office door.

“No.You’re fine to stay here, I have a few papers to grade in my office.’’ He paused on you, looking between you and Yoshiki.”L/N-san i’m sorry I missed you for our council time.’’ He rested his hand on the doorknob, squeezing it slightly. 

“It’s ok Sugawara- sensei! The class is so big, I don’t know how you could make enough time for all of us in one day.” You waved your hand at the notion and laughed, he had no reason to feel bad. You had all year to college prep, one day wouldn’t set you back.

“I’m free after school if you want to wait in my office? We can run down your requirements before volleyball practice.” He shifted on his feet slightly, Yoshiki’s gaze heavy on him.

You agreed to the offer, thanking him as he disappeared into his office.

“Two days in a row, look at you!” Yua laughed as she slapped your back causing you to choke on your food. 

“Yua-chan he’s our teacher!” Hiroto whispered aggressively as he handed you his water bottle.

“I know, it’s just funny seeing how flustered she gets.” Yua winked at you, as if her flirtatious actions would justify the burning in your throat. 

You passed the lunch period chatting amongst your friends, Yoshiki easing into the conversation as if nothing had ever happened. You were grateful for the new start, happy to have your friend back. As everyone finished their lunches, Yua and Hiroto waved a goodbye. They were on a mission to find the raccoon that lived by the track dumpsters, leftover food in tow. You and Yoshiki were left in the classroom, silence settling around you both.

“So, are you still doing soccer with Hiroto-kun?” You tried to fill the conversational gap, hoping it would disperse the awkward feeling around you two.

“Yeah, but they pretty much benched me. The new first years are really good.” He laughed, sounding sadder than he had planned.

You opened your mouth when the office door clicked open and Sugawara peaked his head out.

“L/N-san come here please.” He waved a hand at you, disappearing back into his office.

You looked between the open door and Yoshiki before standing up. You turned to speak, Yoshiki already packing up his belongings.

He said a hasty goodbye, leaving before you could get a word in.

You watched as he walked out the door, turning back to the open office.

“Yes Sugawara-senpai?” You pushed the door open a little more before stepping into his office. 

It was nicer inside then you had anticipated. He had one large window facing the courtyard, while the other 2 walls adjacent to the door were lined with rows and rows of books. A large dark oak desk sat in the middle of the room, free of clutter and debris. He had pushed a small black sofa under the window, it looked comfy and worn in. Like it held more stories then the actual shelves. But the most notable feature of the room was the abundance of small and large plants placed around the room. Some sat on the windowsill, others were placed between the sections of books on the shelves. The larger plants were tucked into the corners of the room, leaves fanning out over everything nearby. But one particularly pretty pink succulent sat on his desk, perfectly positioned to sit in the ray of sun that shined through the window. It looked like it was basking in the warmth, soaking up all the sun had to offer. 

“Can you do me a favor L/N-san?” Sugawara questioned as your eyes stopped roaming. You landed on his hand, reaching out towards you, grasping something out of sight. 

You reached out and opened your hands,“Of course Sugawara-senpai.” 

He opened his hands to drop a few yen into yours. “I didn’t have time for lunch today, can you go grab me a hot drink from the vending machines by the south gym? You can get yourself something as well if you want. There should be enough money for two.” 

“I may be late for class sensei…” You cupped the warm metal, how long had he been holding the coins? They heated the palm of your hand slightly, melding with your own warmth.

”It’s ok, just come in quiet when you come back.” He sat back down, picking up a red pen.

You nodded and smiled before running off towards the south gym doors. You would hurry, maybe if you ran you would make it back before the bell rang.

“Um, what should I get him?” You scanned over the drink options presented to you.“It is flu season, maybe something that will keep him healthy? But he did say he didn’t eat lunch, what’s thick. What if he fails me because I got him something gross.” You were shaking your head back and forth, this was becoming much more tasking then it should have ever been. You pushed the green tea button twice, grateful he was kind enough to give you enough money for something as well. 

The rain was starting to come down, getting heavier by the minute. You took the two hot drinks and ran for the main entrance, hoping the rain wouldn’t soak your cardigan too much before you made it inside. 

It was a short walk back to the classroom, you could hear Sugawara on the other side, he had already started the lesson. Deciding to finish your own green tea in the hallway you emptied the container before heading inside. 

You slid the door open just enough to fit inside, attempting to be quiet enough to not distract the classroom. Eyes were all on you as you closed the door and turned around to face your peers. Breathing stopped as they waited for their sensei to reprimand you for being late.

You walked over to Sugawara and handed him the tea before fishing his remaining change out of your cardigan pocket and rushing back to your desk, eyes on the floor as you sat down.

“Thank you L/N-san.”His smile was sweet and gentle as he turned back to the class. “So this diagram differs from the previous in what way?” He continued on with the lesson as everyone’s gaze slowly started to leave you. 

After a few minutes it seemed as if everyone had lost interest in your tardiness, almost everyone. Two pairs of eyes from the back of the room bore holes into the back of your head for the remainder of class, you didn’t have to turn around to know who they belonged to.


	4. Chapter 4

Sugawara closed out his lesson as he waved goodbye to his students for the day. He gave you a quick nod, flashing you a small smile before closing the door behind him.

The next teacher walked in moments later, signaling for the next subject to start as the hastily wrote on the chalkboard.Your last two periods creeped on as the eyes on you seemed to multiply as the day continued. Four eyes turned to eight, those eight to twelve, and soon everyone couldn’t help but glance in your direction. You couldn’t blame them, the two girls in the back of the class were burning holes in your back. The final hour of class had come to a close as the bell rang and the classroom cleaning began. 

You had volunteered to take the trash out for the day, hoping to get away from the thick air in the room, even if it was for a short amount of time. You bolted down the hallway with the black bags in hand, desperately wanting some fresh air.The whole school seemed so stuffy, the air thick with teenage angst. 

The rain had slowed to a drizzle as you made your way outside, the clouds still heavy with possibility for it to pick back up at any moment. Walking around the back of the school to the track you saw the garbage bins come into view. You wouldn’t admit it out loud but you loved to take the trash out. The high walls surrounding the bin were an open invitation for a good trash bag throw. 

You backed up a bit and held onto the top of the bag with both hands. With a good twist of your hips your lobbed the bag over the high walls, a satisfying metal cluck rattled off the bin walls. “Three points!” You smiled to yourself, cheering at your little victory. 

A chorus of laughs sounded off behind you as you turned around, five girls grinning back at you. “Why do I always catch you doing the weirdest shit F/N?” She elbowed her friend, pointing your way.

You recognized the girl talking to you and the girl next to her. But the other three were new to you, maybe you had passed them in the hallways at some point, sat by them in an assembly, bumped into them at the convenience store. 

You were trying to think of why these girls were standing in your way, but you had no luck. You bowed slightly, trying to get around them.“Sorry, I’ll get going.”You were stopped, a hand in front of you blocking your escape.

“You don’t know my name do you?” The girl sneered, lowering her hand.

You paused a moment, pretending to be lost in thought.“No…sorry.” Sure you knew her, who didn’t know Hina. She had been bullying girls ever since you met her. Most people described her as boy crazy, but to you she was just crazy. You have never seen someone go as far as she did for a crush. She had managed to scare away not only most of the girls in school, but every boy she liked as well. But that’s what happens when you threaten every person that comes near your newest crush.

“It’s Hina you nitwit, that’s not the point of this. Why are you hanging around Sugawara-sensei so much?” Her tone was demanding as she stepped closer to you. 

You began to explain but she cut you off again. 

“It doesn’t matter, stay away from him ok. He’s just taking pity on you and your misfit friends.” She poked a finger in your face, glaring down at you from over her pointed nose.

She reminded you of a witch, and maybe another word too. You looked at her finger, half tempted to bite it off if she didn’t move it out of your view. 

“If we have to talk to you again, it won’t be so nice.” The girl next to her added, giggling at her own comment.

Saemi was her name if you were remembering it right. She had always been in Hina’s shadow. Her lack of personality, and her equally nasty attitude meshed well with her poor choice in friends. You had wished she went by her first name.But instead she had tarnished not only her own reputation, but your friend and captains name as well. 

They turned away once you didn’t respond, walking back to the main building leaving you shell shocked. “What in the actual fuck just happened, was I just labeled as the number one threat to the Sugawara fan club?” You waited until they were out of sight before you reacted, chewing your lip in disgust. “What annoying girls…”

Walking back into the classroom you caught sight of a helpless Sugawara surrounded by seven or eight girls. Some you definitely knew were first years, “Did they come all the way from the other building just to harass him.” 

They were rattling off question after question as he circled around his desk away from their reach. “Sensei you dress so nice, where did you get your cardigan?”, “Sensei where did you go to school, you look really smart!”, “Are you going to help with any of the clubs, i’m in the tennis club.” 

You could see the panic in his eyes as he looked for a way out. “L/N-san, you’re here, we can look over your papers in my office!” He had managed to move behind you, pushing you like a battering ram through the crowd into his office before closing and locking the door behind him. He peeked up at you letting out a long sigh. “That was scary.” He chuckled lightly once he looked up at your amused face.

You laughed as he made his way to his desk chair and sat down, sliding further down as he relaxed. “Oh come on, it can’t be that bad. You have a whole fanclub dedicated to harassing you sensei. I’m sure it’s not the first time.” You teased as you sat across from him and unzipped your bag. 

“Well contrary to popular belief, I was not big on girls in school, they were just as scary as they are now.” He shook his head at you. He had more pressing matters on his mind during school, like volleyball and making sure no one knew about the principles hair piece.

“I’m sure lots of girls told you how handsome you are sensei, maybe you didn’t notice at the time…” You bit your tongue at your informalities towards your teacher. “I’m sorry sensei, that was rude of me to say.”

“Don’t be L/N-san, i’m sure I didn’t.” He laughed as he took the folder out of your grip before flipping through it. “So do you have your financial plan in place for Tokyo University yet?”

“In a way I do, my parents have an account saved for me, and I’ve been working summers and saving as much as I can. If I can stop buying canned coffee every morning I should be able to survive long enough to graduate.” You rubbed the back of your neck at the last bit, it was a painful truth.

He chuckled before closing your folder and handing it back to you. “I’ll write down some good scholarship opportunities for you tonight, you can look into them and tell me what ones you want to apply for after the weekend ok?”

You nodded in agreement as you closed your bag and stood up. “Thank you senpai.” You wanted to say so much more, but words fell short of the admiration you already had from your teacher. 

“Let me walk you to your practice, I can explain to Irihata-sensei why you’re late.” Sugawara stood up, making his way around the desk. He looked at the door for a moment, his heart beat picking up at the thought of what still waited in his classroom.

You unlocked the office door, opening it just enough to peak your head out. “Is it safe to come out?” Sugawara laughed as you nodded and motioned for him to move forward. 

—-

Opening the door to the gym you were overwhelmed by the noisy warmups taking place inside. 

Sugawara waved at Irihata before pushing you forward to walk to your coach. “Sorry she’s late, we didn’t have time for our homeroom meeting so I had to steal her for a bit after class.” His hand lingered on your shoulder, pulling back slowly as he stood in front of your coach.

You blushed at his word choice, it didn’t really feel like he “stole” you.

“Just get changed and go warm up.” Irihata smiled and shooed you towards the locker rooms. 

—-

You jogged back into the gym, looking around you found your team swarming the front doors. 

“Oikawa-sensei did you come to help us again?”,“Can you help me with my serves, I want to be as good as you!”,“Did you get some time off? Are you going to spend it with us?”

Oikawa answered all the girls’ questions as you walked over to your coach and Sugawara who were laughing at the events unfolding in front of them. 

“Why is Oikawa here Irihata-sensei?” You groaned slightly, knowing full well what was to come. 

“Oikawa-sensei L/N.”Corrected your coach, Oikawa’s attention turned to you at the mention of your name.

His eyes went wide as he broke into a full sprint, arms stretched in your direction. “Is that my F/N?” He cried as he collided with you. His hold was suffocating as he cried into the top of your head. “Semi-san told me you quit. I came every day for summer practice but you didn’t show up. I was so sad F/N, you can’t…”

You rolled your eyes as he continued his muffled rant into the top of your head.

He pulled away abruptly before holding you at arms length, his eyes brimming with tears. 

“Oikawa please let me go, you’re embarrassing me…” You huffed as you tried to wiggle out of his grasp. You looked back to your coach, his eyes closed tight as he stifled a laugh. “Your no help.”You looked next to Sugawara,“Senpai help me, please.”

“Why don’t you call me Senpai F/N?” Oikawa was now fully pouting, his mood souring at the nickname he never knew he missed. “Daddy just wants his little Y/N to love him.” He knew the mistake he made immediately as you shoved out of his embrace.

“Don’t call yourself that, I already told you how embarrassing you are!”You yelled before punching him in his side. You glared at him before walking over to join your teammates stretching warm ups, shaking your head angrily. 

“She’s all grown up.” Oikawa sighed as he joined the other two men.“Sugawara, it’s been awhile.” Oikawa smiled at the teacher and old friend, it had been about five years since he last saw the setter. 

“It has, how’s the team?” Sugawara grinned back, slightly annoyed at the close contact he had with you. 

“Good, we have a few weeks break so I thought I would check in on F/N.” Oikawa watched as you laughed with your team members, smiling at your bright mood.

“And how do you know L/N-san?” Sugawara asked something sharp at the end of his question.

“She’s Iwaizumi’s younger cousin. She used to come to our practices when she was little so she could watch Iwa practice.” He reminisced of the times long ago. “ She used to be so sweet to me, writing me songs and following me around. She would let me hug her and squeeze her cheeks.” He was now holding himself rocking side to side, smiling at the times before. “But now she’s too old for Oikawa-senpai to dote on her, she thinks i’m embarrassing. She won’t even answer my calls anymore…” 

“Stop referring to yourself in third person, so annoying…” You yelled at Oikawa as you ran past him. Once again the same angry look staining your previous smile. 

His eyes followed you as you took your laps around the gym, hunching over he sighed. “They get so big so fast.” 

Sugawara placed a hand on his back and smiled sadly. 

“Sugawara will you be staying for practice today?” Irihata questioned as he watched the girls break off from the laps for water.

“I don’t know, Oikawa-kun is already here.” Sugawara didn’t want to intrude, it wasn’t even his day to help. 

“Wait, did you play volleyball too? You should stay for practice and help us out!” Semi smiled as she rolled the ball cart past them.

“It would be fun to have the extra help.” You smiled as you walked up next to them, something shined in your eyes as you looked at your teacher.

“Sure, I guess I can stay for tonight.” He sheepishly smiled down at you. How could he say no to you when you gave him that look. 

“Well girls, we have enough for two team. Why don’t we play a game?” Irihata’s voice was loud over the talking groups of girls.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. You two can pick the teams!” Yami pointed to the two men, excited to play the first practice game of the season.

“Only if I can have F/N as my setter.” Oikawa smiled as he pinched your cheeks. 

Slapping his hands away, you frowned “You’re a setter too Oikawa, we can’t be on the same team.”

He continued to pinch at your cheeks “Suga-kun is a setter too.” He added, pulling at the soft skin.

“I can play on the other team, I don’t mind.” Sugawara shrugged as he pointed at Yumi to join his team. 

“Fine, but don’t be weird the entire time.” You huffed as you wiggled out of Oikawa’s grip once again.

—-

The teams had been chosen and you had each broken up to discuss rotations. “Since we have Oikawa-senpai and L/N-chan I think we should go with a 4’2. She can play right wing and setter. That way we can let Oikawa spike too.” Semi proposed as she assigned everyone else spots. 

You knew the girls loved when Oikawa got the chance to spike, he did too.

“I forget that you and Oikawa played against each other in high school.” Irihata smiled as Sugawara unbuttoned his dress shirt up and took it off. 

He hated to admit it but he still to this day wore practice shirts under his suits just in case he had a chance to play. “It was a long time ago.” He laughed, looking over at your team huddled together. “Should I worry about any of the girls on Oikawa’s team?”

“I’m sure you remember how Oikawa played back in the day, well he tones it down for the girls but L/N is his little protege. She’s a spitting image of his play style.” Irihata seemed proud, as he spoke of you. He had switched to coaching the girls team when you came on for your first year. He had watched you play throughout middle school and he just couldn’t wait to get his hands on you and your little powerhouse serves.

The teams all lined up at their starting positions. You and Oikawa were on opposite ends of the net, but you were parallel to Sugawara. “Promise you won’t fail me when we beat you?” You smiled sweetly up at him batting your eyes. 

“This fucking girl…” Sugawara shook his head at you and chuckled. You both watched as Semi sent the first serve across the court.

The first few sets had gone smoothly for Sugawara’s team.You still hadn’t gotten into the groove of playing again after three month, but you weren’t planning on letting Sugawara win. 

It was Yumi’s turn to serve as she made her way to the back of the court. She spun the ball a few times, getting a feel for the room as she looked over both of the teams.

“Senpai, make sure to keep your eyes on me.” You smirked as you watched Yumi send the ball over. You didn’t know where this rush of confidence came from, but you were enjoying it nonetheless.

The ball was easily received by Semi as she sent it your way.

“Senpai!” You called Oikawa as the ball connected with your finger tips.

Sugawara looked to you before the three man block moved to cover Oikawa. 

You flipped your wrists, sending the ball over yourself as the blockers rushed to cover the open area. “I told you to keep your eyes on me Senpai.” you giggled as the rotation moved. 

‘’Who would have guessed she would be so bold on the court” Sugawara huffed, walking to grab the dropped ball.

The game had been underway for about forty five minutes, Sugawara’s team was leading by three points. 

“Look how pleased he looks, I won’t let you stay in the lead for long.” You smirked at Sugawara as you took the ball for your serve.

Oikawa was staring at you lovingly as you bounced the ball off the floor, looking around the court at the other team. Feeling his gaze cast over you looked away in embarrassment. 

“Turn back around Oikawa…senpai.” 

He melted. 

Irihata wasn’t kidding when he said you were Oikawa’s protege.The ball flew so fast Sugawara’s brain couldn’t even ping fast enough to see you had sent it right next to him. You were targeting him. If this was the payback you got to cash in for all his teasing so be it.

You sent two more serves his way, giggling at his attempts to receive the balls. “He’s starting to look flustered.” You smiled shyly at him before setting up again. You positioned yourself to send it to your sensei one last time before throwing the ball up. 

It happened pretty fast, you were sure he would miss it this time as well. To be fair he tequically did. The ball hitting his upper forearms, sending it up into his nose. The ball ricocheted off his face as he fell backwards, hitting the gym floor with a loud thud.

“Oh you’ve done it now L/N, you killed your teacher!” Semi laughed as you ducked under the net and slid down to your teacher. 

“Sensei are you ok? I’m so sorry, I didn’t think you would go for it. I blame Oikawa for riling me up.” You rambled on as you moved his hand from his face. Blood trickling out of his nose and onto his white shirt.

Sugawara quickly pinched his nose closed. “Really it’s ok L/N-san, that was a good..”

“OH MAN, I’M GONNA GET EXPELLED, I KILLED ME TEACHER!” You screamed as you looked around for some kind of help from your team.

Sugawara stood up waving his hands. “L/N i’m fine, i’m just going to go to the nurses office and clean it up ok?” He smiled sweetly before walking out past the door, you running behind him. 

“Please don’t fail me sensei, I’ll clean the classroom by myself for the rest of the year…” Your ego deflated as you looked at the broken man walking in front of you. No win was worth the punishment that would ensure. 

He pushed open the nurse’s office door as you walked in. Sitting down on the bed while you got a towel out of the cupboard and dampened it. 

“Move your hand sensei.” Your voice was soft as you held the towel up to his nose. 

Sugawara’s hand came up to your cheek, wiping away a stray tear as he tilted his head.“L/N- san, you don’t need to cry. Accidents happen all the time.” His voice was gentle as he rubbed small circles on your cheek. 

“But…I didn’t want to hurt you Sugawara-senpai, accident or not.” Your words caught in your throat, hiccuping slightly as you dabbed at the remaining blood. 

He took the towel from your hand and patted the open area next to him. 

You lifted yourself onto the bed, sinking down into the plush fabric. No one spoke as you played with the fabric on the edge of your shorts. 

“Make me a cake.” Sugawara spoke suddenly, catching the both of you off guard.

You blushed at the sudden statement. “Senpai…?” You were unsure if you hadn’t heard him, or hadn’t understood him. 

“Make me a cake if you feel so bad.” He turned towards you and smiled. “I’ll forgive you for a cake.” 

“I suppose I can do that.” You shrugged, making him giggle. His nose had stopped bleeding by now, so you decided to walk back to the gym. 

When you opened up the door everyone was cleaning up the gym to go home. 

“He’s alive!” Oikawa exclaimed, making you laugh. He was putting on his jacket as you walked over to him.

“Are you leaving?” You questioned and he nodded. Closing the distance you wrapped your arms around Oikawas waist, laying your head on his chest.“Goodbye Senpai, it was nice to see you.”

He hummed in response as he wrapped his arms around you ,resting his chin on your head. “Bye kiddo, I’ll see you next time.” He pinch your cheek, soft this time. You could let it slide just this once. He let go, waving goodbye to the rest of the girls before turning to Sugawara. “Watch yourself.” He smiled as he patted the man’s shoulder.

Sugawara watched the door close with wide eyes. “What the fuck was that supposed to mean?’ 

“Senpai, your shirt?” You handed the shirt to him as he turned to you, his hands tightening around the fabric.

“Um, thank you L/N-san. Get home safe, I’ll see you in the morning.”With that Sugawara rushed out of the gym. 

“That was weird.” You shrugged before helping finish clean up.


	5. Chapter 5

You started off Wednesday pretty excited, the relationship that was blooming with Sugawara was enough alone to make you skip the entire way to school. 

“You're peppy today.” Hiroto smiled as you danced around him. 

“What's got you so chipper?” Yua was looking over you with concern. “Did something bite you last night? Are you going through changes? Is your new super power mood swings?”She lifted your arm, examining it for marks.

“I don’t know, I guess i’m just excited for class.” You glared, ripping your arm out of her hands.

“Yeah she's definitely caught something.” Hiroto laughed as Yua wiggled her eyebrows.

“It wouldn’t happen to be…” She leaned in close to you, hands resting on your shoulders. “for Yoshiki hmm?” She turned you towards the boy waiting by your classroom door.

He waved as you made eye contact before making his way towards you. “Hey, I went to buy apple juice this morning and an extra one fell out. I figured I would bring it to you!” His smile was soft, sweet even as he handed you the extra carton.

“Thank you.” You took the juice, turned it over in your hand before offering him a smile.

“Well I'm gonna go to class, but enjoy it!” He smiled at your friends, waving a goodbye before walking off down the hallway. 

You knew it was silly, Yoshiki was an absolute catch. He was a star athlete, incredibly handsome, smart, and funny. He had caught plenty of girls' interests, but just not yours.

Your eyes were instead fixed on the man sitting at the front of the classroom. His attention was turned to a small brown book in his hands. Reaching for the coffee mug beside him you watched as his lips molded to the hard ceramic, pulling away you noticed the residual shine leftover from the chapstick he had put on prior. He thumbed to the next page before gently sliding his reading glasses back up the bridge of his nose. 

Seeing him was enough to make your heart tremble. It was a crazy thought, that you liked your teacher, maybe even going as far as to call him your crush. It was wrong, you didn’t doubt that. You tried to push the thoughts away, you probably could have tried harder now that you thought about it. It had only been two day, two whole days with him in your life. It would have been easy to ignore those stupid feelings, to be friendly and go about the year. Soon enough you would graduate and you would never see him again. You could live with that, it would eventually have become a silly story to tell your friends.

“Remember Sugawara-sensei? Yeah I had a huge crush on him, how silly right?” They would laugh, you would laugh, it would end with that. 

It would have ended like that, but he had given you some semblance of hope last night.

Your mind burned with the feeling of his hand cupping your face, you wished you had leaned into the warmth of it while it lasted. It kept you up all night. The thoughts of every little insignificant thing he had done, the small words, the quick looks, the tiny details. Those alone were enough for you to at least explore the dynamics between you two further. 

“Good morning Sugawara-sensei.” You chirped as you made your way to his desk. You waited for him to peak up at you, those soft hazel eyes showing through his long lashes. 

“Good morning L/N-san, did you finish your homework?” He kept his eyes on his book as he flipped to the next page. 

Your classmates made their ways to their respected seats as the morning bells rang. You looked around in confusion as everyone quieted down, leaving you standing at the side of his desk. 

He handed you the roll call sheet and closed his book. “Take the attendance please.” His gaze set behind you as he made his way to the chalkboard to write down the morning meeting points. 

You ticked off the names of the present students before setting the papers on top of his closed book.“It’s on the desk sensei.” You lingered next to the desk, grasking at the opportunity to see his smile.

“Ok, go take your seat now.” He had turned around now, eyes glazing over you as he looked around the room. 

“Maybe he’s having a rough day.” You pondered as you took your seat. 

The class period continued the same, his usually vibrant outlook on life had faded for the day. 

You waited your turn for college counseling as he called up your classmates one at a time. You were usually the last to be called in these instances. You carried your father's english surname as opposed to the rest of your class who spelled their names in classic kanji, because of this you were always listed last. You watched his last student walk back to their desk and you knew your name was next. You gathered your materials and waited for your name to be called, instead he disappeared into his office leaving you without an ounce of his time. 

Soon the bell rang, and the next teacher walked into the classroom.“ He must have left out his office door, it must be a busy day for him.” You grasped at reasons for the stark chance of attitude, anything to push down the slow aching building in your chest.

By the time he returned for your science period his attitude had changed. His bright and sunny demeanor shined though as he answered questions and wrote the day's notes on the board. You would have sworn you imagined the morning if he hadn’t avoided your eyes the entire class as well. 

Soon the day ended and classroom cleaning started. As the last students left for the day you made your way to his office door. You knocked lightly and waited for an invitation.

“Come in.” His voice was barely audible from the other side.

You turned the knob and stepped inside, closing the door slightly as you walked to his desk. “Hi sensei, how was your day?” You smiled, teetering on your heels.

Sugawara didn’t answer, instead he typed out something on his computer. His fingers angrily digging into the space bar as he worked.

“Um, well we didn’t have time for my college counseling so I figured I would see if you were free now?” Your rocking stopped as his face dropped.

“I didn’t feel we needed it today. Did you apply for any scholarships last night like I suggested?” He again looked past you to the clock on the wall.

“No senpai, you had told me you would make me a list of ones to look into. So I want to wait for you to…” You chewed at your lip nervously, unsure why he was so upset with you.

His eyes flicked to you as his brow furrowed. “I think you're fully capable of looking for yourself.” He looked back to his computer, glaring at the screen. “It's time for you to go to practice, I don’t have time today to explain to your coach why you're late again.” He spat out the last word, his eyes focused on his hands.

You were taken aback by his brashness. The indifference was one thing, but to be so openly bitter was another. You left without another word, slamming his door behind you. You were on the verge of tears as you walked to practice. You didn’t have a reason to be so openly upset at him, he was nice now he wasn't. It was your own fault for getting so attached to him, someone you hardly knew. 

\----

During the next two week his attitude only got worse. He was openly hostile with you in class, going as far as to ignore your questions entirely. If you persisted to ask him he would simply tell you to pay better attention to his teachings the first time. 

Tutoring lessons were just as disma. He would set you down in the classroom alone with your work while he remained in his office. At the end of the lessons you would simply hand in your extra work for him to grade and leave on your desk the following morning. 

Because of this you stopped showing up. What's the point of missing extra practice to do work by yourself, he wasn’t even answering your questions at this point. He didn’t even bother to talk to you about them in class. He clearly didn’t care one way or the other. Today was the third tutoring session you had chosen to skip, opting to take the extra time to practice with your team instead. 

You were halfway through practice when the gym door opened. The thick metal echoing around the gym as it shut.

“Sugawara, did you decide to come back to practice with us after all?” Irihata glanced at him before continuing the digging exercises. 

“No, I need to see F/N L/N.” His glare rested on you as he motioned for you to come over to him.

You gathered your bags and jogged over to him , shrugging at your confused team member. You stopped in front of him, tilting your head. “You need me sensei?” 

He placed a hand on your shoulder, tightening his grip as he walked you out of the gym and to the classroom. Once inside he slid the door shut and turned to face you, his soft features hardened as his eyes fell on yours. “Three days, you've wasted three days of my time having me wait for you to show up for your tutoring sessions. Why are you not showing up?” 

You met his glare, upset by his uncalled for attitude. “Because you're not helping me with any of my work sensei, I felt like it was a waste of both of our time.” You spat the honorific at him, right now he didn’t deserve your respect. 

“Do you not know how to communicate with me? Do you think I wanted to use my free time to tutor you in a subject I'm not even teaching you?” He threw his hands up, gritting his teeth. 

You looked away, clenching your fists. You couldn’t hold his heated gaze any longer, the hot anger was slowly dissolving into something harder to control.

“Answer me L/N.” He was stern, like a parent reprimanding a child.

“I didn’t want to talk to you sensei! You ignore me everytime I do so what's the point?”Trying to find a release for whatever was bubbling up you dug your nails into your soft palm. 

“Are you a child? Did no one teach you to use your words?” Sugawara was now yelling, he couldn’t hold back his frustration any longer. 

“A child? You're the one who is acting like a child sensei! You were so nice when I met you, and…” You choked on a sob, fighting with words you wanted to say. “and, in the nurse's office…” You couldn’t finish the statement. “But now you're so rude! You ignore me all day, you won’t help me with my classwork, you treat me like i'm stupid in front of the class when I ask a question. If anyone is acting like a child it's you!” Everything boiled over as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. “What was the point if you were just going to lead me on like that?” Your voice was nothing more than a whisper, stuck deep in your throat.

You gathered your belongings and left, you had nothing left to say. Your anger was spent, you felt stupid and irrational for even indulging in your feelings for him. He was right, you were childish. Only a kid would get a crush on their teacher.

You slammed the door behind you, walking down the empty hallway. 

He had wanted to go after you, explain to you why he had to act the way he did. He wanted to tell you how he felt, how he had been interested in you for so long. But it was no longer his place.

When he had seen you at the coffee shop months ago, he was taken aback. You were perfect. His friends had urged him to ask for your number, it was after all the sixth time he had dragged them to the shop that summer just so he could see you again.

He had at one point built up enough courage to talk to you. His intentions set on asking you on a date. But when he made his way to the counter and he saw your smile, directed only at him for the first time. He froze, you were so close to him, yet you felt miles apart. He knew words could bridge the gap.

“Can I have a napkin?” How stupid, he had his chance and that's what he said. 

He went back a few more times, hoping to pluck up that same courage. He had even written out his name and number on a piece of paper beforehand. But you didn’t come back. 

Imagine his surprise to see you sitting in his class on his first day of school. 

“A fucking high school student, she's a fucking high school student?” It could have been the worst day of his life, but when he saw that smile again. Well he knew he was screwed, absolutely whipped for you. 

He could wait it out until you graduated, it was only a school year after all. But you were so sweet to him, the chemistry just happened. He had given up on the hope of waiting that day in the nurse's office. 

You were so small and fragile, crying over a nosebleed. He couldn't help himself, he just had to touch you, to comfort you, so he did. Your face fit so perfectly into his palm, he wished he could have held you longer, but it was wrong and he knew it. Oikawa only confirmed that feeling. 

What would everyone think, a student dating her teacher. The ridicule would go on well into your adulthood, and he didn’t want to cause that kind of pain for you. 

So he tried to ignore you, and the feelings. He knew how hard it was going to be. All it would take was one look and he knew he would crumble. But this, this wasn’t what he expected. 

Today, today was the worst day of his life, he had made you cry. Not in a silly way, the look on your face was proof enough that those tears were different. The nurse’s office tears were soft, gentle, leaving your eyes puffy. But these were harsh. Leaving hot, red trails down your cheeks as they left your eyes. He had hurt you.

\----

It was hard to get out of bed the next day for the both of you. 

You woke up with swollen eyes and a throbbing headache. You contemplated skipping school all together, but what would you tell Yua. Hiroto wouldn’t pry, it wasn’t in his nature. But Yua, she would kick down your door if you didn’t show up, she had done it once before. 

You walked in as the bell rang, avoiding Sugawara’s sullen eyes. 

He was a clean and proper gentleman. He prided himself in his well kept appearance, but today, well he was a wreck. His eyes were dark and sunken in, his usual suit switched for much more comfortable clothing. His appearance seemed rushed, as if he had decided last minute to get ready (which he had, but the school couldn’t find him a substitute). 

When the bell rang you sondered up to the front of the class and picked up the attendance, avoiding his frame as you turned around. It didn’t matter, he couldn’t bring himself to look up at you even if he tried. 

You kept your distance from each other throughout the day, and when you did interact it was brief and to the point. 

Your friends were concerned but didn’t pry, instead they opted to show you silent love and affection. Yua and Hiroto had only seen you like this once. You had confessed to a boy during sixth year , but he had told you how he was looking for a prettier girl. It had broken your heart, the lasting pain ruining your self esteem well into your second year. They knew you would talk about it when you were ready, you just needed time.

Sugawara on the other hand only got teasing remarks from his coworkers. They were only interested in the details regarding the “crazy” night he had had, laughing about how he could have hid it better. Asking him for advice on where to find a girl for themselves. 

The day progressed on and before long the final bell rang and he found himself inside his office grading papers. A soft knock pulled him from his thoughts. “Come in.” He busied himself as the door opened. 

“Sensei, can you open the hallway closet, I need to put up the brooms...” You stood in the doorway, not wanting to fully enter the room.

His eyes rapidly met your own as he perked up at your voice. His heart sank again as he watched you back away from the door.

You held his gaze, nervously playing with the frayed threading of your skirt.“Sensei?”You questioned again a little louder causing him to stand up suddenly. 

He grabbed the closet keys and followed you out of the office.“Did everyone already leave?” He asked as you gathered the brooms. He reached out a hand to help you, retracting it as you gripped onto the handles tightly.

“Yes sensei.” You were walking briskly, causing him to rush to keep up with your pace. 

He unlocked the door, opening it for you as you walked in to put the brooms up. He watched you exit again, walking past him with the same hurried pace.

He followed you back to the room, watching you pack up your belongings before heading for the door.“ F/N…” He stopped you, opening his mouth slightly.

You turned around with your hand on the door, waiting.

The words he needed were lost. He searched your eyes for the right response, he needed something to grasp at.

You gave him a stiff smile before sliding the door open. You walked out, closing the door behind you. He took too long.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a few weeks since you last spoke to Sugawara. You weren’t really sure what words to say to him at this point. Sure you were still mad, he was after all a huge ass for talking to you the way he did. But you couldn’t help but feel bad for your actions as well. For all you knew, the sweet glances, the soft smiles, the entrancing conversations. Well maybe you had exaggerated his intentions a little. Maybe he was just uncomfortable, stuck in a situation he didn’t know how to escape. But god dammit, you were not going to ask him for help with your math homework. 

Your grade had tanked in the last few weeks. You did the work, put in all the motions. But your brain just wasn’t soaking up the sweet, sweet academic knowledge. This was the reason Oikawa was stationed at your dining room table, looking through your math book just as confused as you had moments before. 

You had tried to call Iwaizumi for the extra help instead, but he was on a romantic getaway with his significant other. “Call Tooru-sensei F/N, you know he would come if you asked.” Iwaizumi was clearly not interested in helping you, even if he was home you would have been out of luck.

“But you were the one who tutored him in school Hajime. Do you really think he’s gonna be any help to me?” You groaned in response.

He knew you had a point. The boy’s brain only operated on three levels, volleyball, girls, and a very small sliver, an absolutely miniscule piece, was dedicated to harassing you.“Figure it out F/N, I’ll see you at the spring tournament ok?” Iwaizumi tried his best to understand your situation, but that didn’t mean he wanted to actively continue this conversation. 

“Ok Hajime.” Your voice was soft, not wanting to press the matter further. You listened as the line died, your only hope fading out with it.

Now that you thought about it, you might feel worse for Oikawa at the moment. He was clearly about to blow a gasket trying to figure out where the X went in your problem. “This one has a typo, let’s skip ahead.” 

You rolled your eyes as he turned to the next page of your book. “Senpai, you’ve said that about the last five problems.”You were getting annoyed now. He had skipped over almost every problem you attempted so far. These were only the warmup questions, what would happen when he got to the actual work?

He looked up, frowning at your displeased tone.“Well maybe they should have checked over the book better.” He shrugged slightly, lowering his shoulders in defeat. 

This man was no help. 

“Snacks incoming!” Your mom smiled, leaning over the table to set down the plate in her hand.

She had come home for the weekend with your grandfather to check in on you. They would make the trip maybe once a month just to make sure you were well stocked on food and the bills were getting paid. She had been pleasantly surprised to find Oikawa with you when she returned home from shopping. Giddy to dot on the boy while she had the chance.

She loved him, and always had. She thought of you two as inseparable, even now when his job took him across the ocean. Wherever you went, he was never hard to find. Whether it be phone calls, strange gifts that reminded him of you, or even visiting whenever he had the free time. She knew he would always be near. That was one reason she agreed to let you stay home while she was in Tokyo. Even when she was gone, you were safe with him. He would do anything for you, that was perfectly clear. 

“Tooru don’t work so hard honey.” She cooed, rubbing small circles into his back. 

“Mom, what about me? It’s my homework.” You whined at the lack of attention, pulling the book from Oikawa’s hands.

Wiggling a finger your way she shook her head. “You need to work harder! You’re failing the class, not him.” She frowned your way as you sank into your chair.

You felt defeated. Between your useless cousin, the single brain cell Oikawa had, and your grumpy mother it was inevitable. You slapped your hands together, bowing your head in prayer. “I know we don’t talk often, but please don’t make me have to ask Sugawara-sensei for help on Monday. Kill me instead, anything but talking to him.”

“F/N, don’t start praying! I’ll figure it out! I’m sure I can find the X…” He pulled the book from your hands, frantically flipping through the pages.

The weekend came to an end, and you were in no better shape for your class. Your mother and grandfather had left Sunday night to return to Tokyo, the trip home ending far too soon. 

“F/N, make sure you water the garden once a day ok, and don’t stay up all night playing video games. That animal island game can wait, Pudge, that’s his name right? Well he can wait for your homework to be done, and please stop eating spicy ramen for every meal. Your tummy is gonna hurt.” She rambled on as she checked that all the bags were lined up at the train station stop. She looked back up at you, letting out an exaggerated sigh. She grabbed the sides of your open coat, pulling it together roughly as she zipped it up to your chin. “And wear your coat properly, you’ll catch cold like that!”

The train rumbled into the station, easing to a stop at the yellow lines in front of you and your family. The doors slid open, a small rush of passengers exiting as they continued on their ways.

“Ok mom, bye love you!” You hugged her tightly before spinning her around. You gave her a light push as she grabbed her bags, walking her to the open doors. You turned around, chuckling at your amused grandfather. You walked over to him, resting into his outstretched arms. You looked up, nose brushing his coat as you smiled. “Please don’t ever change grandpa, you’re the only normal member of our family.” 

He smiled back down at you, giving you a reassuring squeeze.“I love you too peaches, everythings gonna turn out just fine, I promise.” He gave you a wink, his hand dipping into your coat pocket. “Don’t waste it!” He teased, as leaned over to pick up his bag. 

You watched as he joined your mother on the train, waving at you as he sat down. The train doors closed, pulling away from the station as it continued on to Tokyo. You reached into your pocket, pulling out a folded 2,000 yen note. You laughed as you put it back. “How does grandpa always know what to say, truly a man of infinite wisdom.” You waved the train off as it disappeared down the tracks.

—-

You had snoozed your alarm one too many times Monday morning, finally realizing your mistake twenty minutes before your first train left the station. You would have loved to say you were up all night doing something fun, maybe beating Doom for the third time this month, or catching up on your manga. But you had woken up at the table in your room, drool sticking the homework you had used as a pillow to your face.

You were rushing to get ready, throwing on your uniform as you frantically stuffed your books into your bag. Before long you were out of time, tripping down the stairs as you pulled up your sock. You had no time for lunch, you didn’t even have time to fix your bedhead. You ran out the front door, relying on the auto lock as you sped towards the main road. You attempted to tie your hair up as you rounded the corner to the crosswalk, the red hand illuminated from the other side of the road. You looked at the pole, both hands occupied in your mess of hair. You lifted your leg, kicking the button a few times as you impatiently waited for your turn to cross. Once it did you bolted across the street, shouting apologies as you pushed your way down the stairs and toward your approaching train. You barely squeezed past the closing doors, still attempting to catch your breath as the train pulled away from the station.

Collapsing into your seat you pulled out your bag to check that you had everything for your day. Homework (still kinda wet), text books, lunch (if you could call a bag of chips lunch), practice gear. Where was your practice gear? You attempted to recall your morning, thinking back to the last time you had everything in your sight. 

“So I woke up, got dressed, put on my sweater backwards, put my things on the table, made lunch, and then I….left it on the fucking table.” The train pulled into it’s first stop, the doors opening for the waiting passengers. You stood up, pushing your way past the crowd as you ran for the next train home. This just wasn’t your day.

—-

You couldn’t believe how late you were when you finally made it to the school. “It’s 9:30, i’m screwed.” You mouthed, taking your tardy slip from the office attendant. You rushed up the school stairs, trying to make it to your classroom as fast as possible. As if that would change the fact that you were an hour late to school. You ran a sweaty hand over your messy hair before pulling the classroom door open. You closed it quietly, turning around slowly to an empty classroom.

Sugawara sat with his feet propped up on the desk at the front of the room. His phone in his hands as he scrolled through emails. 

“Sensei, i’m sorry i’m late…” You mumbled, looking at the rows of empty desks. You made your way to the front of the room, setting the tardy slip on his desk.

“L/N-san, why aren’t you on the bus? They are leaving for the field trip!” Sugawara’s eyes went wide as he looked up at you from his phone. He stood up from his seat, glancing between you and the piece of paper. 

“Field trip? Was the field trip to the science museum today?” Your face dropped as you realised just what day it was. Sure it was Monday, the first Monday of the month. The first Monday of the month when they take all the students to the 3M Sendai Science Museum.

“Maybe we can still get you on the last buses?” Sugawara wrapped a hand around your wrist, pulling you behind him as he ran down the hallway and out to the south gym. 

“How are they already all gone…” Sugawara knew the last bus had left at 9:00, but he had hoped to at least see some transportation left.

You looked at the empty lot, not a single bus in sight. What were you going to do now, they had shipped out the entire school for this field trip. 

“Is there any way we can get her to the museum, I could drive her?” Sugawara was now at the front office, nervously talking with the secretary. 

“I’m sorry, but she’s just going to have to spend the day in her classroom.” The woman gave you an apologetic look. She mouthed a few words to Sugawara, too quiet to make out before walking back to your desk.

Sugawara turned back to you, motioning for you to follow him back to the classroom as he walked past you.

Once you got back to the classroom you made your way to your desk, silently sliding into your seat. You looked over to your teacher, shifting uncomfortably as your eyes met his.

“Well you can work on any extra work you have. If you have any questions, i’ll be in my office.” He leaned back on his heels before turning to enter his office. The door clicked closed behind him, the only sound left being the ticking of the clock on the wall.

You nodded to yourself, excepting that again today was just not your fucking day.

You had finished most of your work by 11:00, but the day was far from over. You looked at your last assignment, the creased ends of the page sticking out of the end of your math book. You had saved it for last for no other reason then to not do it. But the day was moving by so slowly, and you were going to have to finish it eventually.

“I might as well ask, i’m not going to finish this by myself.” You pulled at the paper, sliding it out of the book inch by inch. You could see the mess of work etched into the white sheet, the ghosts of prior mistakes partially erased in the background. “Sensei, could you help me with this problem?” You squeaked out the question, holding your breath as you listened for movement behind the office door. “Maybe if he doesn’t hear me I can just give up and take a nap.” You weren’t quiet enough, the door opening as Sugawara made his way over to your desk.

Sugawara pulled a chair over from the adjustment desk, taking a seat next to you. He motioned for you to show him the question, looking down at the paper in front of you. You felt it was better for him to just see the whole paper at this point. You slid the work to him, watching as his face contorted in confusion. He picked up your pencil, marking spots as he attempted to work through whatever thought process you had had. 

“Oikawa tried to help me…” You added, hoping he wouldn’t think all the stupidity on the paper was you. 

Laying it back in front of you, he handed you back your pencil. “You’re close, it’s a simple mistake really.” He leaned over the desk, resting his elbow on the table and his head in his hand as he guided you through your missteps. 

You always loved how he would say that. “A simple mistake. ”Like it was easily fixable. It made your confidence skyrocket, that’s probably why he was such a good teacher. You watched him work through a few, briefly stopping at each step to check back in with you. 

“Yeah, you got it, see I knew you could do it!” His brilliant smile made your stomach flutter. It was a fleeting slight, soon he had turned his attention back to the problems. 

“Thank you sensei.” You smiled to yourself, moving on to the next question on your sheet.

After a few minutes Sugawara had deemed you on the right path, standing up to return to his office. He closed the door, leaving a small gap as he disappeared from view.

“And he’s gone…” You had liked the company, a pleasant change from the quiet classroom you had been sitting in for the past three hours. 

A few minutes later he emerged from his office, ,a stack of papers in hand as he walked over to his desk. Sitting down, he propped his feet up on the desk. He set a small pile of papers on his lap, pulling the cap off a red pen as he started to grade. He peaked up for a moment, giving you a quick smile before turning over the paper in his hand.

You watched him for a while, taken aback by his sudden change of mood. For weeks he had been cold and distant, avoid you like the plague. But here he was, choosing to sit in the same room, smiling at you. It was baby steps, but steps nonetheless. 

It had felt like you were a flower living under perpetual clouds, but the sun had started to return, and you were basking in it. 

“Sensei?” You called out, pulling nervously at your sleeves.

He looked up at you again, his eyebrow knitting together. 

“It was now of never, just fucking say it, get it over with and say it.” You straightened up in your seat, leaning towards the edge of your chair.“Sensei i’m sorry. What I said was uncalled for, I should have just told you I didn’t want to continue the tutoring lessons. I…my actions were uncalled for and I’m sorry if I put you in an awkward situation.” You looked down at your hands, fingers digging into the material of your skirt. You felt a hand on your head, gently patting your hair down. You tilted your head up slightly, blushing as you met Sugawara’s bright smile.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come off so harsh. You had a right to be uncomfortable talking to me about it.” His voice was soothing, his smile turning soft. His irises twitched, sadness washing over the brown hues as he pulled his hand away. 

“Could we maybe, start over. I really was grateful for you helping me.” You stood up, attempting to stand eye level with the person in front of you. 

Sugawara contemplated the question, uncertainty pulling at his lips. “I don’t know L/N-san, I’m pretty busy.” 

You frowned at his answer, he did have a life after all. Probably friends, pets, maybe even a girlfriend. Of course he would rather spend his time after school with them, not tutoring a student on a subject he didn’t even teach.

“But, if you can promise me you’ll show up. I can give you back your Mondays and Fridays.”He shrugged lightly, amused with your reaction. 

“Thank you so much Sensei, I-i’ll do anything to make up for it!” You bounced up and down on your heels, absolutely ecstatic. 

He cocked his eyebrow at the word anything, chuckling to himself. “Just make sure you make it to the Spring tournament.” He made his way back to his desk as you sat back down.

You had missed the sun.

The rest of the day came and went, the ticking of the clock no longer ringing in your empty ears.

You had finished your work right as the lunch bell rang, officially all out of schoolwork for the day. You and Sugawara ate lunch together in the classroom, taking the time to go over extra problems from your math book. 

“So, if you take away 47, add these totals together and…are you just eating a bag of chips for lunch?” He stared at you in horror as you pulled out the bag, his stomach hurting for you. 

“I um, didn’t have time to make a…yeah, this is all i’m eating. You’re looking at me like my mom…” You shrank in your seat, pulling the bag closer. 

He shook his head at you before continuing the lesson. 

The rest of the day you spent in his office, looking over all his belongings as he typed away on his computer. 

“Hey, can you get out of my things. Don’t you have something to do?” He groaned, watching you pick through his book collection.

“Yeah, annoy you.” You rested your finger on a blue book, sliding it out of it’s stop. You flipped through the pages, walking over to sit down on the couch.

“Comfy?” he laughed, watching as you rolled over. Your back now on the seat cushions as your head fell off the side of the sofa.

You let your feet rest on the windowsill, crossing your legs as your back sank into the couch. You looked up at him, tilting your head to see him peering down at you. “Yes, quite.” You giggled, laying your head back down.

Once school had officially ended he walked you to the front doors, waving a goodbye as he watched you walk down the courtyard and towards the school gates. The school buses wouldn’t be returning for another two hours, but you had no real reason to stay past the normal school hours. Practice had been canceled for the day ,making your extra trip home useless. “But the day hadn’t gone to waste” ,you thought, smiling to yourself.

—-

“Koushi, you’re coming out. You’ve been so moppy for weeks. Get ready and i’ll send you the address.” Daichi yelled into the phone, already at the bar. 

Sugawara ended the call with Daichi and sighed. He just wanted to spend his weekend relaxing, not at some dive bar. But his friends had been harassing him for weeks about not coming out. He was having a hard time coming up with excuses at this point.

It was already Saturday, an entire week had flown by. You and him were civil again, but not completely the same. He wasn’t sure what to do. Should he leave things as they were, at least you were talking. Or should he press furth, see how close he could get to crossing the line with you. He just didn’t know, and being here tonight wasn’t going to help that.

Sugawara walked into the tiny dive bar, looking around for his friends in the crowd of people. He found them at the bar, shoulders pressed against the other bar patrons as they attempted to wave down the bartender.Sugawara set a hand on each of their shoulders, turning them slightly to greet them. 

“You’re here!” Daichi smiled, pulling his friend into a hug.

“We honestly didn’t expect you to come.” Asahi laughed, joining in the reunion.

“Well I wouldn’t have picked this place…” Sugawara looked around at the overly packed bar. “Why is it so busy, isn’t this place little dated for all these kids?” Sugawara looked around at the adolescents crowding the stage area, grimacing. He wasn’t much older, but he had never much liked his age group. 

“Some pop punk band is playing tonight, I guess they are big with the college students.” Asahi smiled, leaning against the bar to order. 

“So who’s the girl that has you so worked up?” Daichi questioned, shouting over the bar noise.

‘’No girl, just work.” Sugawara scowled at Daichi, a warning for him to stop prying. 

“I know that look Koushi, who’s the girl?” He had been friends with Sugawara for long enough to know the difference in his moods. Work made Sugawara grumpy, and girls made him moody. He knew the difference.

Sugawara sigh. “It doesn’t matter, we’re technically not allowed to be talking anyways.”

Asahi offered Sugawara a bottle, nudging him as he took it. “You got a crush on one of your coworkers?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Sugawara rolled his eyes, bringing the bottle to his lips.

Daichi laughed as the house lights went down, the crowd cheering.

“Hi, we’re Systematic. We have some shirts and stuff for sale at the front if you’re into that.”You turned to your drummer as he counted off for the song to start. “This is “Painkiller.”

He couldn’t fucking believe it, that was you, in a band, playing at a bar, right in front of him. 

“Hey, they actually sound pretty good. The singer is kinda cute!” Daichi laughed, pointing towards you.

“I’m being punished right? I did something awful in my past life and that’s why all of this is happening.” Sugawara turned towards his friends, clasping his hands together. “Kill me please.”He pleaded to his friends, desperation in his eyes. 

“I can’t hear you!” Asahi furrowed his eyebrows as Koushi’s lips continued to move, raising a hand to his ear.

“You could hit me with your car, or mine, maybe throw me off a cliff.” It was useless, his friends were absorbed in the song. Completely ignoring his impending break down, too fascinated with the bubbly girl bouncing around onstage. 

As the first song came to an end, a stagehand met you with a guitar and a water bottle at the edge of the black curtains. You took the guitar from her, adjusting the strap as you walked back over to the microphone. “Today’s set is short, but we will be at Kyoritsu Kodo next month. Door price is set at 4,000, so show up and support Ryu’s bleach addiction.” You laughed as you threw a guitar pick at the bass player. 

He ducked out of the way, flipping you off. 

You counted off the next song and the band started, the upbeat tempo resonating through the crowd. 

He had to admit, you looked happy. The way you bounced up and down along with the drums made him smile. He would have maybe picked a warmer outfit if he were you, but the new look was refreshing to say the least. 

You had on a black sweater dress, one size too big as it hung off your shoulder. The purple of your thigh high socks peaked out from your equally high black boots. He could faintly make out a small bow on each side of the straps most likely connected to the garters further up your legs. He was trying to leave most of that to the imagination.

“This is all too much…” His face was growing hot as he watched you dance around the stage. Prompting the crowd to move along with you as you sang into the microphone.“At Least she dances like an old lady, that’s helping a little.” 

You stretched out your arm, turning the microphone to the crowd. Beaming as they sang the chorus back to you.

He had seen that smile only a handful of times. He saw it when you were walking in the hallways with your friends, laughing as they argued. He saw it while setting yourself up for a serve. And he saw it now as you closed your eyes, basking in the crowd singing along. 

The final cords played as you opened your eyes again. “So that was our rendition of “Sports”, next is a song I wrote on the train last week. It’s the byproduct of a broken heart and shoujo binge reading.” You chuckled awkwardly as your band tuned for the song. “So this is “All I Wanted.” You slid the microphone back into the stand, adjusting it to reach your lips.

Sugawara pushed forward, moving through the crowd in an attempt to see you better.

“Hey Koushi is moving up to the stage, lets go!” Daichi grabbed Asahi’s arm, pulling him along as he fought to keep up with Sugawara.

Sugawara stopped a few feet away from the stage, worried you would see him in the crowd if he got any closer. Sugawara was losing himself as he watched you, your hands gripping the microphone stand for support as you sang. The song was different from the rest, sadder, full of emotions. It was you, more so than the rest. He started to wonder who you had written it for, who had given you so many different feelings. Maybe Yoshiki, you two seemed close enough for that. 

The band cut off, leaving you alone. He saw the tears lining your lashes as you belted into the microphone, eyes closed tight. “All I wanted was you!” The band came back on your last note, the full sound reverberating around the full room. Sugawara bit his lip, fighting back the emotions that flooded his mind. He could see the hurt you held as you opened your eyes, the glistening of forming tears reflecting the stage lights as you looked into the crowd.

The song ended too soon, the house lights rising. You pulled at your sleeve, wiping at your eyes as you waved a goodbye. “Thanks for coming out, I’m Kiko and we are Systematic.” You smiled brightly, trying to take in the faces in the crowd one last time. Your rotation stopped on a familiar pair of hazel eyes, your own growing wide as you looked his way.

“Did she see me? She looked right at me…” Sugawara thought. He stood still, like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck. 

Your face dropped as the realization set in, turning abruptly to make your way off the stage.

“She definitely saw me.” Sugawara groaned.

You were trying to pack up and leave when you heard shouting from the stage. You grabbed a handful of wires, stuffing them into a bag as you rushed to finish. 

“Hey, you can’t go backstage!” A stagehand yelled from behind the curtains.

“Koushi, what the hell are you doing? Get off the stage!” You couldn’t pick out the voice from the dissipating crowd, turning to see what exactly was going on.

You watched Sugawara push through the curtains, frantic eyes scanning for you. Panic setting in when you saw him push past a stage hand, his heated gaze on you.

You tried to crawl through the clothing rack behind you, the exit in sight as you pushed through the other side. A rough hand grabbed the collar of your dress, yanking you back out into the open.“Hi, sensei…what are you doing here?” You awkwardly laughed, looking for someone to save you.

“What am I doing here?” He laughed as he grabbed your forearm, pulling you towards the emergency exit. He pushed open the door, forcing you through before slamming it closed behind him.“Explain.” He glared down at you, blocking your escape.

You felt like you were under a search light, people staring at you as they walked by the fence. 

He waited for your response, looking over your face as you avoided his eye contract. “Can you please just tell me what is going on, and why you’re at a dive bar at 11 p.m on a Saturday night.”His tone was softer now as he crossed his arms over his chest, his heated gaze easing into a warm stare. 

You might as well just get it all out. You took a deep breath, finally meeting his eyes.“So freshman year I really liked this band called Bunny, and I would go watch them at the university all the time. But the singer quit last year and they started up Systematic with the remaining members, but they needed a singer and I like singing. But I was only 17 at the time and they were looking for someone older. So I kind of auditioned as Kiko, a 21 year old college student. I don’t drink or do anything illegal…like super illegal. Because you know that me being in the bar is illegal because I’m only 18, but that’s probably why you’re mad. It’s just bars are the only shows we can get, and we’re working hard to get a venue show and we have one next month. Sensei please don’t tell them how old I am. This band means the world to me.” Your shrank into your words, confidence dying.

He looked at you in shock at the paragraph you had just word vomited out. His attention turned away from you as the emergency door flung open. 

“Koushi what the fuck?” Daichi spat, looking between the two of you as Asahi followed behind him, apologizing to security on his way out the exit.

You looked at Sugawara, pleading him not to say anything. 

“This is the girl.” He sighed, it was this or exposing you. At least only one person suffered with this explanation. 

“This is THE girl?” Asahi gave his friend a confused look, pointing back and forth between the both of you.

“Wait, that sad song. Was that about him?” Daichi pointed to Sugawara, holding in a laugh. 

You shrugged slightly, nodding. Things honestly couldn’t be going any worse.

“Ok, ok we’re done here, shows over!” Sugawara grabbed Daichis arm, tugging him as he walked to the parking lot. He turned around, scowling.

“Th-thank you Suga…Koushi!” You stuttered out, giving him an awkward wave.

He mouthed a silent “We are talking about this tomorrow.” Turning back around to yell at his friends.

You were in some serious trouble, maybe it was time to make that cake.

*Hi, I just want make a disclaimer that I do not own any of the song’s or art I used for this chapter or any others. Beach Bunny wrote Sports, and Painkiller. Paramore wrote All I Wanted ,and I wrote this mediocre fanfiction. I also want to say thank you for those of you reading this! It means alot that you would take the time to read it as the story unfolds! I hope your enjoying it, and if you have any thoughts, criticisms, or advice I would love to hear it! I am very much an amature at writing, but I want to give you the best chapters I can. So thank you again!*


	7. Chapter 7

“Ok, so I just pulled the cakes out of the oven, what next?” You had the phone pressed between your cheek and shoulder as you carefully flipped the cakes upside down onto the cooling rack. 

“Now, did you make the cream already?” Oikawa’s voice sounded far away, somewhere amongst the rest of his teammates. 

You had called him during practice, desperate for his mother's strawberry cake recipe. She had made it a long time ago, a special treat for all the times you sat with Oikawa late at practice. Even after all these years you still remembered the taste. Tart strawberries, rich crème fraîche, soft sponge cake, light whipped cream. She had a way of making it taste like so much more than just a cake. You craved it sometimes, late at night as you watched the car lights ghost over your bedroom ceiling. Craved the memories too, when your parents had been home more. When Oikawa was still in highschool, just a simple bus ride away. When boys weren't a problem, especially confusing boys who teach your homeroom class. 

Yes, and I cut the strawberries…” You were now grabbing the multiple bowls of already prepped ingredients out of the fridge, kicking the door closed before setting them down on the kitchen island. “And the syrup is cooled down now as well.” You shifted the phone to your other ear as you looked through the cabinets for a cooking brush.

A loud smack sounded from the other side of the phone. “Nice kill Oikawa!” What sounded like high fives echoed, a chorus of praise for their star player. 

“Ok, so once the cakes are cooled, cut them like you usually do. Brush a good amount of syrup on them before you spread the crème fraîche, and space the strawberries throughout it. Follow with the whipped cream on top and that should be it.” He had committed the recipe to memory, having made it with his mother at least a hundred times. 

“Thats simple enough, but what about all the chocolate you made me buy?” You picked up the unopened bar.

“Oh that's for me, that new horror movie came out last week! Let's rent it and have a sleepover F/N-chan.” You could hear him take you off speaker phone, waiting for your answer.

“Goodbye Tooru.” You chuckled as you hung up the phone. “That jerk made me buy the expensive stuff too.”

\----

It was now Monday morning, the weekend passing by at an excruciating slow pace. The cake sat atop your counter for what seemed like an eternity. You had woken up early for school, wanting to make it before Sugawara did. An hour early would have sufficed, but your body decided on two. The sky was still dark when you left your house, cake in tow. Most people would think the station would be empty this early in the morning. But it had never been busier. You thought falling asleep last night was hard, but getting the cake to school in one piece may be your most daunting task yet. But after three ‘’almost drops’’, two grubby hands, and one very pushy man. You had finally managed to get the cake to the front gates of the school, all missteps avoided. 

Sneaking into his office you turned on the lights, completely empty. “ Ok so I'll leave the cake here ,and this note. He should be so overjoyed by this cake that he’ll forget about even wanting to talk to me in the first place.” It was foolproof. You set the cake on the desk, repositioning it a few times. It had to be perfect to work, and god you wanted it to work. Once pleased with the placement you turned off the light, closing the office door behind you. 

You spent the extra hour before school in the library, tucked away in the political section at the back of the room. The secluded table was the perfect place to catch up on some sleep. Sending a text to Yua to wake you up when she got to school, you laid your head down on a pile of textbooks. Drifting off as the librarians set up for the morning.

You were jolted awake, looking around the partially empty rows of bookshelves. A small snicker above you turned your attention towards the ceiling, Yua stood above you on the table. She bit her lip, trying to stop the laugh that threatened to escape. Stepping down from the table, she bent over to pick up the textbook she had just dropped. 

“I’m sorry F/n-chan, but it was so tempting.” Hiroto laughed, his hand on your back.

A librarian peaked their head around the corner of the geography section, scowling your way. She raised a long finger to her lips, shushing you and your friends harshly before disappearing behind the bookshelf. 

“I’ll remember that next time.” You picked up your bag, swinging it at Yua as you placed it on the table. 

“Really F/N-chan, you should have seen your face!” Yua’s laugh grew loud, holding her sides as she leaned against the table.

You mocked her laugh, zipping your bag closed. “Come on, let's go to class before Yua makes another librarian mad.” You gave Yua a light push, rolling your eyes at her sorry attempts at an apology. 

\----

The office door was ajar as you made your way to your seat, eyes locked on the light that leaked out the open space. “Any minute now, he’s gonna walk out of that office with a smile on his face, and i’ll be totally off the hook.” The bell rang and everyone quieted down for the lesson to begin. The light behind the door turned off as Sugawara walked out. He held a fresh cup of coffee in one hand, steam trailing off the brim as he made his way to the front of the room.

“Good morning class, I hope you had a good weekend.” He gave the students a gentle smile as he picked up a stack of papers. He looked your way, his grip tightening on the handle of the cup. “L/N-san, the attendance please.” His mouth twitched as he tried to hold his smile. 

“Maybe he didn’t see the cake yet, yeah that's why he's giving you that look.” You made your way to his desk, reaching over to take the papers from his hand. You pulled, but they wouldn’t budge. Looking up, you tried to meet him with a smile, wavering when your eyes met his. 

He tightened his grip watching you struggle to pull the papers from his hands. 

You glared up at him now, tugging again. Sugawara let go suddenly, smirking as you stumbled backwards slightly. You turned your back to him, taking a step away from the desk as he loomed over your shoulder as you took the morning attendance.

You quickly set the attendance on his desk before walking to your assigned seat, not daring to look back at him again. For the rest of the class you continued this, even refusing your college counciling for the day. Before long the class ended and he packed up his things to leave. 

“If I just avoid him, forever, maybe he will forget about it...”, and that was just what you planned on doing. You had packed up your bag early into your third period, hoping to make it to the door before he came into the room for the lunch period. 

You watched as the minutes ticked by, edging closer to the end of your seat. When the bell rang you were up in a matter of seconds, pushing your way into the middle of the group of students walking out the door. Your foot was about to cross the threshold when something firm tugged on your bags strap, pulling you back.

You looked up at Sugawara, his hand was firmly around your strap as he waved goodbye to the students. 

“Have a good lunch, i’ll see you soon!” He smiled, pulling you closer as you tried to wiggle free. 

“Are you coming F/N-chan?” Hiroto smiled weakly as he looked between you and your teacher. 

“I’m going to borrow L/N-san for the lunch period so we can look over some college exam prep.” His smile was gentle, sickeningly sweet.

“OK, we'll see you after lunch...” Your friends waved you a slightly confused goodbye, looked back at you as they made their way down the hallway. 

Sugawara slid the classroom door close before turning to you. “It sure was weird to see a cake on my desk this morning, did you make it?” He walked you over to a desk, nodding for you to sit down. He sat down on the top, peering down at you with that same offputting smile.

“Yeah, you asked me to make you one, so I did.” You smiled innocently at him, praying for a break.

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with Saturday would it?” He tilted his head to the side with an amused look. 

“Of course not!” You awkwardly chuckled as you waved off the notion.

“Because it kind of seemed like a bribe…” He stood up, boxing you into your seat.

“Why would you say that sensei?” You were looking at the ground now, burning the braided seams of his black leather shoes into your mind. 

“Because it had a note that said “Sorry, sad face”, you really wrote “Sorry, sad face“.” He signed, shaking his head. He knew it was an honest attempt at an apology note, at least from you.

“I was pretty sure it was gonna work too.” You laughed at the disappointed look on his face.

He sighed, walking to his office. 

You followed behind, timid steps as you peaked inside. He was already sat down on the couch, ready for the talk he had promised you.

He motioned for you to sit down next to him.

You took the seat, uncomfortably sinking into the cushion. 

“I’m not going to tell anyone about Saturday L/N-san.” Sugawara leaned forward, meeting your nervous stare. 

Your mouth dropped open, but before you could speak Sugawara placed a finger to your lips. 

“If you let me come to your next concert to meet your band members. I don’t really feel safe knowing you're out with a bunch of older guys, playing in bars, dressed like that.” His mind trailed off as his cheeks heated up. “I just want to make sure you're safe, and if you are, I won’t say anything.” He looked at you sincerely before taking your hand in his. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I would hate myself if I let you continue doing this and you ended up not coming home, or worse.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “Just do it for me, please.” 

You looked down at your hand in his, his thumb pressing softly into your knuckle as he squeezed it. You liked the warmth, but it wasn’t enough. You leaned over, resting your forehead against his chest.

His breath hitched as he looked down at you pressed against him.

You waited a moment before reaching up, circling your arms around his frame. You pulled yourself closer, your cheek now flush against his chest. 

His own hands hovering over you, retracting as he brushed over your hair. He inched forward again, letting his palms graze your sweater before wrapping his arms around you. He was reaching his limits with you.

Sugawara was warm, the white cotton button up he wore soaking up his scent. It was clean and sharp. Images of freshly washed linens, hung up to dry on a wire outside on a breezy day. Early morning hikes through the forest during a spring shower, and walking barefoot through fields of white flowers and tall green grass crossed your mind as you took it in. The warmth he emitted was comparable to a hot shower after a long day, it enveloped you, sunk into your skin. His hold was firm, molding to you as you relaxed into his chest. 

He laid his head softly atop of yours, closing his eyes. You stayed like this for a while, no one wanting to be the first to let go. Running his hand down your back, he reluctantly pulled away. 

You could feel tears threatening your eyes as you looked up at Sugawara. The first few cascaded down your cheeks, dropping onto your white knuckles. In each fist was a section of your sweater, your fingers kneading into the plush fabric as you chewed at your lip.

“F/N, why are you crying?” Sugawara cooed, tilting his head. 

You shook your own, trying to hide your sorry state from his prying eyes. 

Soft hands cupped either side of your face, tilting your gaze up to him. “What's wrong, did I say something to upset you?” 

You shook your head again, “No sensei. It’s just nice hearing those words come from you.” 

“That I worry about you?” He gave you an amused smile, his head tilted in confusion. You nodded as he wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. “Well, you are an absolute mess. It's hard not too.” He leaned in slightly, his sweet tone masking the teasing words. 

“Sensei, you're so rude.” You shakily laughed, rubbing your eyes with your sweater sleeve.

He smiled at you before ruffling your hair, “No more tears, ok?” 

You nodded, watching him stand up.

“Give me your cell phone.” He wiggled the fingers on his free hand, opening it towards you.

You looked up at him quizzically, fishing it out of your pockets. You set it in his hand, your hold on it lingering before letting it go.

“I’m going to give you my number. Once you know when your next concert is I need you to text me the details ok.” He nodded, waiting for you to follow.

You gave him the acknowledgement he wanted, watching his slender fingers glide along the screen as he imputed his number. 

“This is also for emergencies, so if anything ever happens. You call me and I will come get you. Any time, any place, I'll always come.” Sugawara extended your phone to you.

You nodded again, taking the phone from his hand. “Thank you sensei.” You looked at the contact still on the screen. He had written his full name. “You have a nice first name sensei….Koushi...” You repeated his name to yourself as you ran your finger over the screen. 

He bit his lip at the mention of his name, something he wasn’t used to hearing come from your own. You had said it as he was leaving on Saturday, but it felt different now. That night it was rushed, muddled by the previous attempt to call him by his proper honorifics. It was sweet now, the syllables sounding more melodic as you spoke them. He felt the blood rush to his head, leaning against the desk for stability. He grabbed the edge, fingers digging into the wood as his legs failed him. 

The bell rang, turning your attention to the door, and his towards you.

“I’m going to go take my seat sensei.” You looked back to him, standing up.

“Ok, yeah go sit down. I just need to finish something.” Sugawara waved you off with a shaky hand.

“You don’t look so good, are you ok?” You took a step towards him, frantically looking over the flushed man.

“Yes, low blood sugar. Go, desk, now!” He turned you around, giving you a solid push out of his office.

You turned around, face greeted with a closing door. “Maybe he should have eaten more than just cake.” You chuckled lightly, students starting to make their way into the classroom.

\----

Class wrapped up for the day as english came to an end. “I still don’t get how you're so good at english. I told the teacher I was a baked potato during our oral exam. She didn’t even laugh.” Yua looked defeated as she held her failed exam paper in her hand.

“At least you got out an actual sentence, I just said “I Hiroto soccer happy.” She definitely laughed at me...” The poor boy didn’t even score in double digits.

“I told you guys, it's because I already know English.” You laughed as you placed your books into your bag. “I was born in America, it was my first language.”

Yua scratched her head as she recalled you saying that once or twice before. “Isn’t that kinda unfair…?”

“Let's walk home together since practice was cancelled on account of the weather!” Hiroto had grabbed both you and Yua's hands as he pulled you to the door. 

They had called off all after school activities after lunch, the severe weather warning coming soon after on the P.A system. The forecast had called for light showers, but the thick grey clouds hinted towards the heavier alternative.

“I can’t, Sugawara-senpai is tutoring me today.” You gave your friends a sheepish smile. You hadn’t walked home with them in weeks. Everyday a new excuse.

“I didn’t know you started those again…” Yua frowned, letting go of Hiroto’s hand. 

“We talked, and decided it was best to keep going with them. I failed that last math exam.” You scratched the back of your head, laughing.

“Ok...See you later I guess.” Yua slowly nodded, pulling Hiroto’s arm as she started down the hallway. The sweet boy waving a sad goodbye as he fought to keep up with her pace.

You tried your best to ignore the pit in your stomach, walking towards the office door. You reached up to knock, the door opening as your knuckles grazed the wood.

Sugawara walked out of the now open door, stopping just shy of running you over. “L/N-san, what's up?” He smiled, squeezing past you. He held your confused stare, mentally slapping himself as he connected the drawn out dots. He had completely forgotten that you had planned on starting up your tutoring sessions again. Too consumed with his other work.

“If you're busy today I can go home senpai.” You could tell from the look lingering on his face that today may not be the best.

He shook his head and smiled.“ Let me just go get some coffee and I'll be right back.” He disappeared just as quickly as he had opened the door, practically running down the hallway.

You took a seat at your desk, waiting patiently for him to return.

\----

You had been working on math problems for almost two hours, watching as the weather got progressively worse outside. Sugawara sat in front of you as he watched your work.

“It sure is coming down, I hope it doesn't flood.” Sugawara was looking out the window at the heavy rainfall. A sheet of water running down the glass. A flash of lightning lit up the sky, a thunder crack rattled the desks as the lights in the school shut off. Sugawara walked over to the switch on the wall, flipping it a few times before sighing. “I guess it's a sign for us to call it a day.” He turned back to you, extending his hand for you to take. “It’s dark, let me walk you to the front.”

You took it gingerly, letting him guide you out of the classroom. The rows of windows illuminated the path before the two of you once you made it into the hallway. No more need for guidance as you let go of Sugawara's hand. You could see the hints of red tinting his skin, writing it off as the lingering sun peaking through the windows.

You walked down the dark hallway together, his hand ghosting your back as you made your way down the staircase, step by slow step. The soft chatter of a distant phone call perked your ears as you rounded the corner to the front office. 

Sugawara leaned against the front desk, waiting for the woman to finish her call. He looked at you briefly, the slight squeeze on his heart turning him away. You had your hands pressed up against the glass window, watching the puddles forming in the courtyard. Your breath leaving small circles on the glass as you stood up on your tiptoes, fingers on the ledge as you balance yourself. You were smaller than the majority of your class, everything just seemed so big compared to you. Even the large window, the connecting bar placed perfectly at eye level. 

“Sorry Sugawara, it looks like a falling tree hit one of our power lines. The company should be here tonight to fix it, you two should head home.” The office lady set down her phone, turning in her chair to face Sugawara.

“Ok, well good luck tonight.” Sugawara laughed, turning to you. “I guess that's the end of our tutoring session today. Let’s head home.”

You nodded, it was getting late and you still had a few train rides home.

Sugawara fished his keys out of his pocket as he walked to the front door. “Are you coming?” He questioned as he held the door open. The rainfall was deafening making it hard to pick up his voice over the static noise.

“No, I'm going to wait out the rain for a bit. I don’t have an umbrella for my walk to the station.” You waved him off as you leaned against the window. 

“The train station is a twenty minute walk from here, you’ll get sick trying to walk home in that. Let me drive you home.” Sugawara unzipped his coat, pulling the sleeve off his arms. He wrapped it around you, holding it open for you to slide your arms inside.

“Really it's ok senpai, I can wait.” You smiled trying to slip out, Sugawara guiding your arms into the sleeves.

Once he got you situated in the coat, he zipped it up to your neck. “Let’s go!” He smiled, holding the door open for you.

You ran next to each other through the courtyard, his car parked in the courtyard on the far side of the school gates. Once you had made it he unlocked the car, opening your door for you to get inside. He waited for you to sit down, closing the door softly before running to the driver's side door. Crawling inside he closed the door and laughed. “Wow, it's really coming down! I'm soaked!” He ran a hand over his now opaque button up. The fabric clinging to the outlines of his body. The hours he had spent on the volleyball court were apparent, that was certain. He unbuttoned his shirt, setting it in the back seat. His white t-shirt wasn’t in much better condition, clinging to arms as he looked for something in the back seat.

You watched a drop of water drip off his hair down his cheek. Tracing the outline of his jaw, down the curves of his slender neck, and across his exposed collar bone before disappearing into his shirt. 

“Here, for your hair.” Sugawara sat back in his seat, two towels in hand.

You stared at them, brain fried at the thoughts running through your mind. 

He laughed before leaning over the center console, gently wiping the water off of your face before laying the towel over your head. “Put your address into my GPS.” He was now drying himself, wiping the excess water from his hair as he started the car and turned on the heated seats. 

“I’m sorry it's so far senpai.” You frowned, starting the route.

“That's not far at all. I think you're maybe four blocks down the road from my own apartment.” He smiled, turning around as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Are you warm enough?” He placed the back of his hand on your cheek. “Still kinda cold, I'll turn up the heat.” He pressed the button on the dash a few times, the air kicking on.

You stayed quiet, watching the lights pass by your window as he speeded down the freeway. The sun starting to tuck behind the skyline of the city. 

He couldn’t help but watch you out of the corner of his eye. You were tracing the outlines of the sunset on the foggy window. Your fingers looked so small peeking out from his clearly too large coat. He hoped it smelled at least a little bit like you when you gave it back. Like daisies and spice. It was fitting to him, a lot like your personality.

“Do you want to play some music? We still have a half hour or so to go.” He handed you the cord as he switched the station.

“I’m not sure you’ll like my music sensei...” You blushed, but he insisted.

“I listen to just about anything.” He flashed you a sweet grin before turning his eyes back to the road. That was a lie, he was very particular about his music. But he wanted to know what you listened to.

You plugged your phone in and browsed your collection. “Well, I do have this one.” You shuffled the songs and sank into your seat, watching his reaction to the playlist you had made for him. You had made it after the day at the nurses office, and slowly added to it as time went on. Just a collection of songs that reminded you of him.

He seemed to enjoy it, tapping his finger along with the songs as he watched the road. “You have a lot of english music, do you speak it?” He looked to you as the next song started. 

“Um, yeah. I was actually born in America. I moved with my parents in kindergarten. They both had job opportunities and I was already learning Japanese so it just worked out.” You were happy most of the school didn’t know of your foreign upbringing. It made passing your “second” language class all that much easier.

“What do your parents do?” Sugawara turned off the freeway, easing to a stop at the red light at the end of the exit.

“Well my dad travels a lot. He’s a wildlife photographer, and my moms a professor at Tokyo University.” You watched the timer on the crosswalk tick down, cars rushing past.

“That's a long commute.” The light turned green and Sugawara lightly pressed the gas. 

“She lives in Tokyo with my grandfather. He got really sick after my grandma died, so she stays with him.” It was a commonly known fact at the school that you lived alone. Your parents had told the school when you started first year, just for safety purposes. You found out later that a lot of the older students lived alone. Their parents renting apartments for them so they could focus on their studies.

“So you're all alone at home?” Sugawara always hated the thought of students living alone, especially you. 

“Well not all the time. Iwa-chan visits me alot, and Oikawa comes over when he's home.” It made your heart skip a beat when he worried about you like this.

“As long as you're safe...If you ever feel uneasy you can call me, I'm just a short drive away.” Sugawara flipped on his blinker, waiting for his turn to merge onto the next street.

“Thank you senpai, I really appreciate it.” You reached your hand out, placing it on his forearm. You gave it a soft squeeze before returning your hands to your lap.

He wished the contact lasted long, the warmth already leaving his skin. He wanted to reach for your hand, hold it in his own as he drove. He wanted to rub small circles on the back of it, feeling over the veins and tendons, commit them to memory. They were so warm, even with the brief contact. He really did live for these moments with you, where the teacher/student boundaries broke down and he could just be near you, savor the atmosphere. He couldn’t tell if it was the rain, the music, the close proximity, or just how much he missed talking to you. But he had that feeling again, the longing to reach out and touch you. He looked down to your lips, soft and plump. They were his favorite shade of rosy pink. He hated to admit it, it was cheesy, but nothing described how he felt quite the same way. 

“Do you like the playlist?” You blushed, had he been aware how long he had been staring at you?

His eyes watched as your lips formed to the words you spoke. A car horn behind him finally turned his attention away from your lovely gaze. How long had he been sitting in the turning lane? He looked down both sides of the road before finally turning into the road. “Yeah, I do. Did you have a theme in mind when you made it?”

“Love…” You looked down at your phone, flicking through the tracks of the playlist.

His eyes widened slightly at your response. He knew it was a collection of love songs, he had most of these on his own playlists. But to hear you say it, it made his heart squeeze. “Can you send me it?”

You nodded, pulling up Sugawara’s contact name. You looked over his full name for a moment before pressing send on the message.

A few seconds later his own phone vibrated in his cup holder, your number popping up on the screen.

Your house was coming into view as he drove down the street.“It’s the white house, brown roof.” You pointed to the one with the porch light on, the driveway empty. 

He pulled in, putting the car in park. “Well, we made it.” He smiled, reaching his arm around you to rest on the back of your seat.

“Thank you so much senpai, I'll make it up to you I promise.” You giggled, happy to have made it home relatively dry.

“You don’t need to worry about it, I don’t mind helping you.” He looked down at you, eyes softening as he met yours. The deep hazel was unreadable as he searched over your own.

You looked over his soft features, admiring the way he looked in the dim light of the sunset. You could see the soft reds and pinks reflected in his eyes, the warm hues matching the ones creeping over the bridge of your nose. Your eyes traveled down, lingering on his lips. Watching them part slightly as he shifted in his seat.

He leaned in slightly, eyes never leaving your own. Stopping just shy of your lips, his breath ghosting over the tingling skin.

Your heartbeat quickened as you took in a shaky breath. You closed your eyes ,leaning in. Your lips were cold, nothing but air brushing past them. Opening your eyes you were met with a sad smile, Sugawara sitting back in his seat.

“Good night L/N-san. Please get inside safely.” Sugawara looked down at the steering wheel, tightening his grip on the leather. The pressure in his chest grew as he avoided your looks.

Your heart dropped at the lost opportunity. You got out of the car, stripping yourself of his coat. Folding it over itself, you set in in your seat before closing the door.

Sugawara watched you walk up your front steps, waiting as you opened the door. He wanted to see you turn on at least one light, just to prove you were safely inside.

You turned off the porch light instead. 

He drove home, biting back the tears that lined his eyes.

\----

*Hi! I actually made a playlist for this chapter. If you want to listen to it I provided a link! *

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/35WHmMJAgINCRrYzeJ3sQo?si=YfB0nGypRh63DZgOuDgMEg


	8. Chapter 8

“I’m so excited for this game today. Our first official match of the year!” Yua was skipping down the hallway, arms wrapped around Hiroto and you. “The last game we played you almost knocked out Sugawara-sensei. Maybe you could do that today too!” She pulled you closer, leaning her head on yours, giggling like a little school girl.

“Are you sure F/N-chan is ok to play, you don’t look like you're doing so well today...” Hiroto had noticed your mood visibly decreasing with every step towards the classroom, feet practically dragging behind you as your friends pulled you on.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, that's all.” You technically weren’t lying, you did indeed get no sleep last night. 

Once you finally walked into your house, closing the door behind you. The feelings flooded over you, a wave threatening to crash. You tried to hold it in, just like you had been doing for days. But as you watched Sugawara pull out of your driveway, his headlights growing dimmer in the distance. The wave broke, silent sobs wracking your body as you crumbled to the ground. You were happy for once to come home to an empty house, completely alone as your heart shattered. Everything had just been too much these last few weeks, the weight finally breaking what strength you had left. 

You had wanted the night to go differently, wanted everything to not be so constantly confusing. If he had just left you alone, let you wait to go home. But he insisted on driving you home, insisted on tutoring you that day. He had leaned in first, bridging the distance before it even crossed your mind too. He wanted something(whatever that may be) just as badly as you did. But he wasn’t there, he was never there.

You liked Sugawara, you really liked him. You had felt that your feelings were clear, always out in the opening whenever you were with him. This was something you actively wanted, but did he? He was so unclear, so indecisive with his intentions. You were growing tired of the emotional whiplash of it all. 

You had picked yourself up off the floor a few hours before school, body aching. You didn’t want to come to school today, you didn’t want to do this today. Still, you made a promise to your team to not leave them again. But you would be lying to yourself if you said you knew what to do next.

“Oh F/N-chan, don’t be nervous. You're the scariest member on the team. You made three girls cry last time, and all in one game!” Yua had an odd way of reassuring you, always slightly missing the mark.

You remembered that day, it was the first time they invited Aoba Johsai to this semi tournament. You had played two games already when you got paired up with a smaller school from Sendai. 

The school was new to the world of highschool volleyball, never having had enough players to compete until that year. You could tell they were inexperienced as everyone made their way onto the court, the referee already correcting their positioning. They looked terrified when you went back for your serve, like deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck. 

You had to be honest, you were being a little over aggressive with your serves that day. Spot serving to break spirits, that's what your coach had told you to focus on for the day. 

You had made the first girl cry before you even got the ball in the air, her hands shaking as you locked eyes with her. The other two broke as your scored point after point on their weak receives. At a certain point they stopped trying to receive your balls, watching ideally as each one hit the floor. 

It was now the hand me down tale the team used to scare the other schools in the area. They loved to tell any team they came in contact with just to watch the look of horror on their faces as your miniature frame made it's way into the gym. You were famous on the court for all the wrong reasons now.

“Can you please stop bringing that up. No wonder I can’t make any friends at tournaments, they all think i'm a monster.” You shimmed out of Yua’s hold, scowling.

“You don’t need new friends, you have me and Hiroto-kun!” Yua beamed as she pointed between the two of them.

“That's exactly my point.” You teased, walking into the classroom.

Sugawara sat at his desk, looking over the previous day's quizzes as he put them into his laptop. He looked up as you walked into the room with your friends in tow, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Though it didn’t last long, quickly fading as you glanced his way.

“Good morning Sugawara-sensei! We're here to pick up our work for the day before we leave for Date Tech!” Yua chirped, stopping in front of Sugawara’s desk.

Sugawara looked up at Yua and Hiroto before tilting his head to peak at you behind them. Your small body hidden behind, eyes glued on your tennis shoes.

“Let me just grab it from the office.” He disappeared for a few moments before coming back with two packets of work. He handed one to Yua, “I see you guys are all ready for the tournament.” his other hand extended toward you. 

You reached out, gripping the edge of the packet as you pulled it from his hands. Your name was written on the top, crisp and neat. You looked over at the pages that hung from Yua’s hand, hers blank. 

“Yeah, we have our new uniforms on and everything!” Yua unzipped her jacket revealing her brand new number 10 jersey. She did a little spin, showing off her printed name on the back.

The team had chosen the new uniforms over the summer much to your dismay. They had switched out the regular jerseys for their sleeveless counterparts, opting for a tighter fitting fabric as well. With the form fitting shirt came an easier glide on the gym floor. The shorts had as well been switched for a thicker, more form fitting pair. Modified for less friction as you moved. The fit was awkward and uncomfortable, you hated them. 

“They look nice, what number did you pick L/N-san?” He gave you a soft smile, the best he could muster as you finally looked up at him. You looked tired, eyes red and puffy. Your movement lethargic as you reached up to unzip your jacket. You shimmed it down your shoulder just enough for your number to peak out, the colors blinding compared to the vacant look on your face. “Number 2 was my jersey in school as well.” He was happy to see the number embellishing your jersey. He had figured you would take over Oikawa’s number, but that was after all reserved for the captain.

Nodding slowly, you slipped the jacket back over your shoulders. Zipping it back up to your neck. You felt cold, you had since you got to school. Like all the warmth had been left in Sugawara’s car, just out of your reach. 

“Hi Yoshiki-kun, you're here early!” Hiroto smiled as the blonde boy peaked his head inside the door. 

“Yeah, I wanted to see F/N-chan before you guys left. Uh, do you have a minute?” Yoshiki stepped into the doorway, hands clasped together as he toed the door threshold. 

You smiled, nodding as you moved to meet him.

“Good luck today L/N-san, I’ll be here after school if you have any problems with your work.” Sugawara stepped with you, reaching out to pat your head. 

You took a small step back, nodding. “Thank you sensei, i’m sure i’ll be ok.”

“I guess we're back to not talking again.” Sugawara frowned, watching you walk over to Yoshiki.

You nudged the boy, giggling. “You didn’t have to come in so early to see me Yoshiki.”

“I know, but I wanted to give you something.” He rummaged around his backpack for a moment, pulling out something silky. ”Since I can’t come cheer you on like I usually do, I got you a good luck charm.” He handed you the small blue fabric wrapped amulet, grinning as you turned it over in your hand. “I know you don’t need it, but I wanted you to know that...i’ll be thinking about you while you're away.”

Crimson creeped up the apples of your cheeks as you ran your thumb over the soft fabric. “I’ll only be gone for the day, but thank you.” You chuckled at the equally red boy, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

He hesitated before wrapping his arms around your middle. “Ah...um of course. But there is something I wanted to talk to you about…” His thoughts cut short as Yua popped up beside you.

“Let's head to the bus, we can get good seats in the back if we hurry.” She looked between you and the flustered boy, smiling awkwardly. 

“It can wait, i’ll see you later.” Yoshiki smiled, waving goodbye to you and Hiroto as Yua dragged you both down the hallway.

Sugawara watched you and your friends, sliding the door closed as you disappeared down the stairs. He took a deep breath, sitting down on a nearby desk. He didn’t know why he was jealous watching Yoshiki talk to you. He didn’t have a reason to after he had denied himself and you last night. But seeing him wrap his arms around you like that, seeing the affection he could so freely give you in the hallway full of students and his peers. It hurt.

\----

You had already played four matches by the time the teams broke for lunch. The day was going well, all the teams were equally matched making the games interesting and intense. You had even managed to make a few new friends, despite your teammates trying to warn them of your past matches. 

Sugawara couldn’t say the same. Homeroom was easy enough, despite the looming emptiness that sat at your desk. He had a hard time not looking at it, his eyes always landing on your spot as he scanned the room. You were normally there, smiling back at him as he taught the days lesson. But today it was only Hiroto, his confused eyes locking with Sugawara’s everytime he looked that way. Sugawara tried his best to busy himself, anything to keep his mind from wandering.

But it was his period with Yoshiki that was the worst. He could tell he was texting you under his desk. His eyes lighting up as he reached into his backpack. The first time was excusable, but now it was every few minutes. His hands reaching for his bag as he rushed to reply. He was probably talking to you, asking you about your day. You would tell him about the funny things you did, a messed up serve, an awkward interaction. He would be the first to know how your games went. If you had lost or won. He could comfort you, tell you how amazing you were, promising you it would be better next time. 

“I’m going to scream.” Sugawara wanted to beat his head on the chalkboard, nothing working to rid you from his mind.

\---

Sugawara wished his students a good lunch, closing the door behind the last student as they left. He made way for his office, locking the door behind him. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. It had felt heavy all day, his fingers itching to text you. He had yet to do so since he gave you his number, unsure of what he would even say. He wanted to tell you he made it home safe last night, an icebreaker to start a conversation. But he knew you wouldn’t want to talk to him, not after he saw the look on your face as you closed the car door.

Sugawara clicked on your contact name, five pink peaches lined up in a row. He had opted to use icons instead of your actual name, just in case someone came across it. It had taken him hours to pick the perfect one, something that was only for you.

“Maybe hearts, but that's kinda corny. I could do flowers, she would be a pink marigold if she was a flower. They don’t have those...Maybe a bee, those are kinda cute.” His fingertips were numb as he pressed on the fruit, each tap solidifying in his mind that those were the right choice. He liked them because they reminded him of you, soft, sweet, a little bitter, and a huge pain in the ass to deal with.

He didn’t know what to text you now that his phone was in his hand. Would you even want to talk to him after last night? 

“I could say “Just thinking of you, I hope you're doing well.” He erased that. 

“Maybe,”Do you have any questions on your homework?” No she probably hasn’t even looked at it yet.” He erased that as well. 

“How about “I’m jealous of Yoshiki talking to you all day, so how about you text me instead?” Erased again. 

“Ok, ok. “Are your games going ok?” He pressed send, laying the phone flat on his desk.

\----

Tucked away in a far locker your phone buzzed in your jacket pocket. You were warming up with your team for the last game of the day. It was a team from a small school in Tokyo, they were average in skill level but high in intensity. The game was exhilarating, going all three rounds. But you managed a win, beating them by just a few points. The day had taken your mind off the mess you would have to deal with tomorrow, but it was over now as everyone packed up to leave.

You hugged old friends goodbye and exchanged numbers with new ones as you got on the bus, excited to see them all at the spring tournament. 

You sat down with Yua, the bus pulling away as you waved one last time at the teams exiting the practice building. 

“Did Yoshiki text you back yet?” Yua questioned, smiling down at the device in your hands.

“I don’t know, let me check.” You clicked the power button, looking for the familiar name in your notifications. You two had been sending memes back and forth all day long, a way of cheering you up. He had noticed your sour mood in the classroom this morning as well, concerned with the details. You had opened up to him about the last few months, leaving out names and faces as you vented. 

You cycled through everything on your screen, no sign of a text back. Sugawara’s name instead popped up in his place and you clicked on his message. You scanned over the screen before sighing, shoving your phone back into your pocket.

“What's wrong. Did you get a weird message?” Yua tilted her head, looking down at your now empty hand.

You shook your head, “No, just one I don’t want to answer.” 

The bus pulled into the school a little bit after the last classes of the day had wrapped up. The school was quiet as you helped unload the equipment. 

“No practice today, coach says to go home and rest!” Semi told everyone, closing the supply closet. 

“Want to walk home together?” Yua smiled, walking with you towards the back gates of the school. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, Yoshiki’s name now popping up.

“I saw you guys pull in, come meet me in the courtyard!” 

“It’s Yoshiki, he wants to meet up. Talk to you later?” You shrugged, turning around to walk the other way.

Yua wiggled her eyebrows at you. “ Yeah sure! Just text me when you get home!” 

\----

Sugawara was watering his plants when he saw you walk across the courtyard, running towards a waiting Yoshiki. “Of course she’s with you.” He rolled his eyes, setting down the spray bottle. He leaned up against the window sill, mocking Yoshiki as you laughed at his joke. Not only did you leave him on read, but now you were with this kid. You never laughed at his jokes like that. He scoffed as you playfully pushed the boy in front of you. He really didn’t want to see this.

\----

“I know these uniforms look ridiculous, but you don’t have to make fun of me” You laughed as Yoshiki teased you.

“You still look nice, just kinda like a toothpaste tube.” He pointed to your white shorts, leading up the mint colored stripes that ran down the side of your jersey. 

You playfully pushed him again, groaning at his remark. 

Yoshiki ceased your wrist, pulling you closer to him.

Your laughter died into an awkward chuckle as you fidgeted in his grasp. “Yoshiki, what are you doing?” 

“I still need to talk to you F/N-chan. I didn’t get a chance to say what I wanted too this morning…” Yoshiki held your gaze, leaning in closer.

“We can just talk right?” You wiggled your wrist free, taking a step back. 

“I tried too last time, but you never showed up F/N. I waited all night for you at that festival…” Yoshiki mumbled, closing the gap between you. “So this time i’m just going to say it.” He reached up, cupping your face as he leaned in closer. “F/N-chan, I really like you.”

Panic set in as his lips brushed yours, his chest flush against yours as he kissed you. Your mind raced as you looked for a way out. It was tender, soft as Yoshiki held you. Pouring into you every emotion you didn't reciprocate.

Yoshiki pulled away, the prior confidence gone. He had expected you to kiss him back, but he felt nothing. “You don’t feel the same way, do you?”

You shook your head, eyes falling to the stone path beneath your shoes. 

“I shouldn’t have done that, I'm sorry.” He took a step back, his sullen eyes meeting yours.

You took a step towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder.“ Yoshiki, you really are an amazing guy. But I like someone else.” 

He nodded and gave you a sad smile. “I know, I see the way you look at him.” 

You were again at a loss for words, did he really know? 

“It’s ok.” He was now comforting you, running a hand down the side of your head. “Let's be friends at least, I should have just left it at that.”

“I would like that.” You smiled, the uneasy feeling lifting off your chest. 

You both walked together to the station, but one thing still picked at the back of your mind. “So how did you know I liked…” You paused, unsure. 

“Sugawara-sensei? I’m not sure, at first I just thought you two were friendly with each other.” He finished the question for you, pressing the crosswalk button. “But one day after school I came to his office to ask him about a problem and I saw him with you. He was probably helping you with homework or something. You were working on a problem, and he just stared at you so endearing. Like you were the world to him. I thought that was weird, ya know, because he's our teacher. But then he started explaining something and you looked at him like he put the stars in the sky. That's when I knew you were in love with him.” The signal sounded for you to cross, Yoshiki walking off in front of you.

“Am I in love with Sugawara-sensei?” You pondered the possibility, running to catch up with your friend. 

\----

Sugawara sat at his desk, head in his hands. He had watched as Yoshiki pulled you close to him. Leaning in to place his lips on yours in the middle of the court yard. It was a romantic gesture, a confesion. 

He had pulled the blinds closed after that, not being able to watch anymore.

\----


	9. Chapter 9

He didn’t want to see you today. He didn’t want to see you standing outside of his classroom door with Yoshiki. He didn’t want to see you smiling at him, the sparkle in your eye when he told you a joke. The blush on your cheeks when he adjusted your tie for you, hand lingering on the material far too long. Your small hand on his arm as your friends joined you, their eyes lighting up as you both talked to them, most likely sharing the good news. Sugawara watched you hug Yoshiki goodbye once the bell rang, squeezing him at the last second before parting ways. At least it was finally over. 

You immediately walked over to Sugawara’s desk, a smile pulling at your cheeks as you reached for the attendance papers. “Good morning Sugawara-senpai. I hope you had a good night.” You lingered next to his desk as you checked off each student's name, trying to elongate the small moment you had with the man. 

Your mood had completely shifted this morning, a stark contrast to the dark cloud that trailed you yesterday. Yoshiki had sat up with you last night, listening to you talk about everything that had happened between you and Sugawara so far. You confessed that you were ready to give up hope, but he couldn’t disagree more. Yoshiki had convinced you that it was worthwhile to try once more. But to take things slow. 

\----

“Maybe he just doesn’t know what to do. It's kind of new territory, the whole liking a student thing. I mean, he clearly likes you. I knew that before you even said anything. Maybe just slow it down, try the whole friend thing first.” Yoshiki looked up at the phone camera as he flipped the page of his textbook.

“Friend thing? Do you really think that will work? Wouldn’t it just be weird to see a teacher and a student hanging out in general?” You picked up your phone, walking with it to the kitchen.

“I mean, you kind of hang out with him anyways don’t you. He just lets you sit in his office, he walks with you to practice when you see him after school. He gave you a ride home. Plus didn’t he just give you his phone number? I don’t know, that just seems like he’s asking you to talk to outside of school.” Yoshiki continued on with his homework, his forehead only visible on the chat screen. 

“When you say it all out loud it does kinda sound like that…” You had now propped the phone up on the wall, sitting down at your own table to work on homework.

“Just be sweet to him, then when you have that concert you can ask him to dinner beforehand. You sneak into dive bars with the band all the time and never get carded, so it shouldn’t be that hard to find a place where no one will see you two together.” Yoshiki peaked up at the phone, his face taking up the entirety of the screen. 

“I should have just come to you about this earlier...the all knowing egghead.” You giggled, Yoshiki’s brows knitting together.

“I’m the egghead? You're the one who can’t pick a normal crush. You're like the worst kind of teacher's pet.” He snorted, picking up the phone as he sat back on his bed.

You gasped, placing your hand on your chest. “That was a compliment you jerk!” It wasn’t, and he was kind of right.

\----

It made Sugawara mad. The way you looked at him, it made all the negative thoughts melt away. You happy, that smile on your face. That was all it took for him to forget why he was even upset in the first place. But once you looked away it all came rushing back. The anger, the jealousy, the regret, it was becoming too much. 

For that reason he avoided your eyes, he wanted to remember those feels. If he kept indulging you, feeding into you. He would end up giving in. It was time to move on, to let you be a normal student with a normal love interest.

If having two periods with you wasn’t hard enough, now he had to watch Yoshiki while he not so sneakily texted you under the desk. He had hid it well enough yesterday, but he was careless today. The phone set in his lap as he smiled down at his hands. Sure most students used their phones in class, even you did it from time to time. But at least you had the decency to pay attention when he was teaching.

He was at his wits end with the boy, his phone buzzing on the desk beside him.

Sugawara walked over to Yoshiki’s desk, arms folded against his chest. “I've been patient long enough, give me the phone.” He opened his hand, waiting for the device. 

Yoshiki’s face dropped, he had never seen Sugawara so mad. He placed the phone in Sugawara's hand, mumbling a short apology as Sugawara placed the phone in his pocket.. 

“You can get it from the front office at the end of the day, don’t let me catch you with it out in my period again.” He made his way back to the front of the room, the students silent as he continued on with the lesson.

Soon after the lunch bell rang and the students dispersed into the hallway. Sugawara waited for the last of the students to leave before walking to his office. He had been using the hallway entrance, it was something he did often to avoid the girls. 

Everyday at lunch a few girls would wait in his classroom for him to return from his previous period. They would ask him silly questions, maybe give him a few gifts. It was endearing at first, but now just a hassle. They impeded on his tutoring time with other students, scared students away from asking for help, even harassed the ones he greeted in the hallways. It had gotten to the point that he would lock the classroom door during lunch, just to get away from it all for an hour.

Your extra time spent with Sugawara didn’t go unnoticed, these girls would inconvenience you well. Stealing your slippers, leaving oddly threatening notes in your desk, one day going as far as hiding your warm up bag for volleyball practice. 

You tried to pay it no mind, it was after all just child's play to you. Obsessive girls targeting you over extra tutoring time. But today they seemed to be particularly ruthless. 

You had come to school with your slippers stolen again, something you had gotten used to. But sadly you didn’t have enough money for a new pair, your funds depleted from the previous purchases. Lucky for you Yoshiki had extra in his locker, a backup in case he forgot his in the gym lockers. 

He had warned you they would be big, but you had not expected them to look so oversized. It was funny really, they were like paddles on your little feet, three sizes too large.

You and Yoshiki laughed the whole way up the stairs and down the hall to your classroom. Him kicking at the overhanging back ends as you pushed them back onto your feet. Yua and Hiroto hadn’t been too far behind, watching you duck walk up the stairs as they fought to muffle their laughter. 

You had expected Sugawara to laugh as well, or atleast notice the difference as you shuffled into the classroom. But he didn’t, he wouldn’t even look your way.

Next your bag went missing. You had looked high and low for it, confused as to where you could have left it in the short time before school started. Hiroto had found it in the dumpster during physical ed, contents dumped before they threw it inside. You had spent most of the period fishing your items out. Ultimately giving up as you pulled the now wet notebooks from the pile.

Now it was lunch and your bento was missing. 

“We can all share F/N-chan. I’m sure it was the same people who’ve been harassing you all week.”Yua took off the lid to her box, splitting her pork cutlet in two.

“No, I think I know who has it. I’ll be back.” You stood up from the lunch table, walking past Yoshiki and Hiroto as you exited the lunch hall.

Hina always ate lunch in the classroom with her friends. Hovering outside Sugawara’s office just waiting for him to come out. To no surprise she was sitting at her desk eating, her friends talking about the newest romance movie when you walked in.

“Hina, i’m done. Give me back my bento.” You were tired of the games. It was time you started standing up for yourself. 

Hina gasped in shock at your sudden declaration. “F/N-chan, I have no clue what you're talking about.” Her friends giggled as they watched. 

“I’m not stupid, you’ve been stealing my shit all week. Just give me it back and i’ll leave.” You took a few steps forward towards the desk.

Her friends only laughed as she pulled your bento out of her bag. “F/N, I don’t know what you're talking about.” She deadpanned, opening the lid.

“Hina, give me back my fucking lunch, now!” You slammed your hands on the desk, leaning over the girl.

She was taken aback by your harsh tone. She hadn’t expected you to actually stand up to her. 

“What is going on?” Sugawara had come out of his office, hearing your sudden outburst from behind the door. 

You looked between them, it wasn’t worth it anymore. “You know what Hina, keep it. But I should warn you it's an egg roll. I know you're allergic.” 

She looked down at your box, pushing it away with her chopstick.

You flashed your middle finger her way, wiggling it at her before walking out the door. 

“L/N-san!” Sugawara started after you, stopping at the door. 

“Sensei, She just came in here yelling at me!” Hina cried, pouting at her desk.

Sugawara turned around, looking down at the desk. He saw your bento box sitting next to her own. The same box you always had when you walked to lunch with your friends. “Get out of my classroom.” Sugawara was curt, pointing towards the door. He pulled the box out of her hands as she left with her friends, scowling at the group of girls. “I really don’t like teenagers.’’

For the remainder of the day Hina and her accomplice Saemi were missing from class. Not that you minded, it was easier to concentrate on your work when those two weren’t snickering in the back of class. 

\----

You were doing lab work with Hiroto when Sugawara came by your table. “How is it coming, are you guys figuring out the chemical formulas ok?” He leaned over your shoulder, sliding your worksheet closer. “You have the correct work, but you're writing all these backwards.” Sugawara shook his head, chuckling.

“I told you, now my answers are wrong too.” Hiroto was now vigorously erasing his own paper. 

Sugawara cocked an eyebrow at him.“Just because you're sharing a lab table, doesn't mean you should be sharing your answers. Do your own work.” He poked Hiroto’s head with his pen before walking over to the next table. 

You finished soon after, handing your work in at his desk.

“L/N-san, hold on for a second.” He pulled your paper out of the pile, looking over your work. “Yoshiki stayed late yesterday, did he wait for you?” 

His question caught you off guard, his eyes glued on your worksheet as you stared at him. 

“Yeah, we talked after school about some things. How did you know he stayed after school yesterday?” You shifted back and forth on your heels, watching as he set down your paper.

“Things?” He turned his head, pushing his glasses back up his nose. 

“Yeah, we talked about being friends again…” You looked up at the bell as it rang, turning your gaze back to him as he stood up with his bag.

“Your work looks good.” He patted your head, leaving for his next class. He couldn’t help but smile as he walked down the hallway. “Just friends, they are just friends. And I got so worked up over seeing her with him. I really am losing it.”

\----

The final bell rang and you packed up your belongings to start cleaning. The assigned group would switch each day, and today was your group's turn. You were wiping down the chalk board when Sugawara walked in, the other students already gone for their activities.

“Do you need me to open the hallways closet for you?” He jingled the keys in his hand as you gathered up the brooms.

“Yes please.” You smiled, watching him pick up the pile of chalkboard erasers. You led the way to the closet, him following close behind.

“Here, watch out and i’ll unlock it.” Sugawara moved the bundle to one arm, unlocking the door. With a twist he pushed it open, walking inside.

You hung up the brooms behind him, clipping them into place. Sugawara dumping the dirty erasers into a bin on the ground.

“Thank you sensei, but now your shirt is all dusty.” You giggled, pointing to the white marks on his shirt.

He attempted to wipe the dust off, shaking his head at the mess he had made. “Everytime…” 

“Here, I have an idea.” You took a towel from a stack on the shelves, walking back to the classroom. You wet the towel with your water bottle, motioning for him to come over to you. Once he was in arms length you grabbed at the sides of his shirt, pulling him closer. You dabbed at the discolored spot, the stain only getting darker.

“I don’t think this is working F/N-chan...” He frowned, holding out his shirt. 

“Maybe not.” You giggled, looking up at the pouting man.

His eyes stopped on your own, your laughter dying down as you gave him a soft smile. His train of thought derailing as he lost himself in the soft hues. Silent, completely content as he grinned back.

“Oh, I have something of yours!” He blushed, yelling suddenly. He held a hand out, walking to his office. 

You listened to him open and close a few drawers, walking back out with your bento box in hand.“You got it back from Hina, thank you sensei.” You took the box from his hands, giving him a grateful smile.

“It’s no big deal, but if she keeps harassing you, come tell me. I’m not going to tolerate that in my classroom.” He was stern, his hands on his hips.

You couldn’t help but giggle, he really didn’t look that menacing standing like that. 

Sugawara looked at his watch, eyes going wide. “My meeting is going to start soon. You need to go to practice!” He pushed you towards the door, your feet dragging as you looked back at him.

“Meeting?” You questioned, turning around as he shoved you into the hallway.

“I have a meeting with the board of directors regarding some curriculum changes, very busy. You have a good practice.” He gave you an awkward thumbs up before shutting the classroom door in your face.

“You are so strange.” You mumbled to yourself, leaving for the gymnasium.

\----

“Late again.” Semi scolded you as you made your way into the gym.

“I had to clean, I'm always late when I clean. You're always late when you're talking to your boyfriend and I don’t say anything.” You teased as you joined the group at the base of the hill. 

Coach Irihata waited for you to line up, blowing his whistle to start the warm up run. 

“How do I know you're not talking to yours?” She laughed back as she ran past you. 

“Because she can’t get a boyfriend! They all run away when they see Oikawa-senpai!” Yami chuckled as she passed you. 

You picked up your pace, yelling after them. 

\----

Stepping back into the gym you collapsed onto the hard floor.

“You can tease me about my boyfriend when you can beat me back to the gym.” Semi smirked as she handed you a water bottle. 

“Oikawa-senpai only taught me three things, serving, setting, and the value of quiet time.” You rolled over on your stomach, watching her walk over to the ball cart.

“That's a lie, you run away so fast when you see him come to practice.” Yua laughed as she stepped over top of you. 

“There’s a difference, that's for survival.” Yami chuckled as she peeled you off the floor.

“Come on, digging drills. Go line up, first years up front.” Coach Irihata walked into the gym with the last of the team. 

You looked at Yumi before groaning, resulting in a loud whistle behind you. “Coach Irihata, you're going to give me a heart attack if you keep doing that!” You frowned as you wiggled a finger in your ringing ear.

“That's the highest i've seen you jump, maybe I should do it again?” He brought the whistle up to his mouth again with an amused smile. 

You crinkle your nose at him before falling in line.

\----

“The gym looks good, go ahead and pack up. Good practice today girls, get some rest tonight!” Your coach gave you a pat on the back as you grabbed your gym bag.

“Wanna walk home with us? We might stop by the convenience store for some popsicles on the way.” Yua leaned against you on the way to the locker room. 

“The train station is the opposite way and I want to make it home to watch the pilot episode of that new romantic drama.” You had waited months for them to announce the spin off to your favorite show, missing it wasn’t an option. 

The team groaned in unison, Yua rolling her eyes. “Yeah, you have fun with that.”

You got dressed in your uniform waving goodbye to your teammates as they left for the night. Soon you were the last one left in the locker room. 

You packed up your school bag before locking your gym locker. Making your way out of the gym, you shut off the lights and closed the door behind you. You started down the path to the courtyard, the sun just barely peeking over the horizon. You walked along the stone path towards the school gates, passing the mostly dark school building.

“Huh, Sugawara- senpai is still here, he must still be in his meeting.” You looked up at the lit window of his office, his blinds slightly shut.

“Hey.”

You turned around at the sudden call, Hina and her friends making their way towards you. “Hey…” You answered, looking over the group.

“You know, you have some nerve embarrassing me in front of Suga-senpai like that.” She poked a finger into your chest, looking you up and down.

You perserd your lips at her. “Maybe you shouldn’t steal other people's things like a child Hina, that's embarrassing enough as it is.” 

She gritted her teeth at your response. 

“If that's all, i’m going to go home. No hurt feelings ok?” You raised your hands in defense before turning around. 

Someone pushed you hard from behind sending you flying to the ground. You hit it hard, scrapping your hands as you tried to catch yourself. You looked up at Hina as she leaned towards you, her fist connecting with your head. She shifted her weight to your chest as she sat on top of you. Hit after hit pushed you back against the cold ground as you tried to throw her off of you. You forced your hands up to shield your face, trying to lessen the blows.

“He doesn’t like you, he’s mine!” She screamed at you as she beat her fists against your forearms.

One of her friends came up behind her, lifting her off of you before pulling her towards the road. They made a run for it as you sat up, trying to get a grasp on your spinning head. You looked around the empty school grounds, your palms throbbing under you. You peeled them off the pavement, gravel sticking to the blood soaked cuts that crossed the bruising skin. The open cuts stung as you wiped them on your skirt, thin streaks of red staining the fabric. You pushed yourself off the ground, trying to stand up on your shaky legs. Your knees burned as you walked, the skin pulling against the rips in your tights with each step.

\----

“I just don’t think we should cut these books from the curriculum. Yes I know i’m not a language arts teacher but these books are important for these kids. They teach important lessons, even if they are controversial.” Sugawara had been arguing with the board for most of the night, it was his one chance to convince them.

A soft knock sounded on his office door. His attention turned away from the bright monitor. A soft voice spoke from the other side “Senpai?”, it was you. 

“One second please.” He sighed, getting up to unlock the door. 

“L/N-san, I told you I was busy today. We can go over your homework in the morning.” He opened the door partially, standing in the space. His eyes closed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Ok, I'm sorry to interrupt Senpai...” Your tone waved, shaky and broken.

His eyes widen, mind wandering back to the nurses office. You sounded the same, on the verge of tears. He looked over you in shock, hands falling to his side.

You looked broken, eyes watery and red. The faint discoloration of black and blue ringed your left socket. Your nose had stopped bleeding but only recently, a red tint spread across your right cheek where you had wiped it. 

You drew in your trembling lip as you looked at him, the large cut on the bottom of it opened slightly. Your fingers finding the edges of your sleeves as you pulled them over your bloodied hands.

Your cream colored sweater was torn at the shoulder, the white of your button up peaking through the frayed threads. The edge of your sleeves were tinted red with the drying blood you had tried to stop from falling out your nose. His eyes traveled down to your knees, taking in the two large scrapes that shuttered through the rips in your tights. The runs that traveled down your legs discolored and flakey. 

You gave him a weak smile, tears spilling over your cheeks. Your hand finding the handle of the door as you pulled it closed. 

“Please give me a moment.” He spoke, leaning over his computer to end the call. Tripping over his own feet as he pulled the door open, he rushed out of the classroom.

He ran down the hallway in search of you, stopping in front of a door near the end of the building. He could hear small sniffles behind it, his hand already on the handle. He slid it open slowly, finding you pressed up against the corner of the room. 

He walked over to your fragile frame, each step meticulously placed as he approached. 

Your knees were pulled up to your chest, head buried in your arms. Your body shook with every sob, muffled cries sounded from inside your self made cocoon. 

He reached out, gingerly running a hand down your arm. Each one squeezing your legs tighter as he sat down in front of you. He wrapped an arm around you, easing you into his chest. His other rubbing small circles along your back. Once you had rested into him he leaned, rocking you back and forth as he hushed your cries. Breathing with you, guiding you through your panic. After a moment your breathing calmed, your body relaxing in his arms.

Sugawara unwrapped an arm from you, his finger lifting your chin. He met your glassy stare, his own glossing over at the sight. “F/N, what happened?” 

Your lip trembled again at the question.

“Please tell me what happened...” His voice was no more than a whisper as he ran a thumb over your broken lip.

“I was leaving, and they were waiting for me. I figured they just wanted to talk, but when I tried to leave they pushed me over. She wouldn’t get off of me Senpai, I couldn’t push her off of me.” You started to cry again, burying your head into his chest. “I just wanted to be strong, I thought she would leave me alone if I just stood up for myself.” Your voice broke as you spoke.

“Who did this F/N?” He cupped your cheeks, lifting your head back up.

You shook your head, not wanting to go through the events again. 

“Was it Hina? What else did she do?” Sugawara’s lips pressing into a hard line, he knew it was her. No one else would have done this.

“She started to yell at me. She said that you didn't like me, that you were hers. Her friends pulled her off of me after that.” Your words were rushed, muddled together as you cried.

Sugawara looked at you with sorrowful eyes. His hand raising to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. He held you in the palm of his hands, keeping your eyes on him. His thumb wiping a stray tear from your eye. He lingered on your cheek, the warmth of the pad sinking into your flushed skin. “I've never belonged to anyone but you.” He spoke softly, only to you.

His hazel eyes searched your own, looking for something. When he found it he leaned into you. His lips hovered over your own before softly pressing against the bruised skin.

Relaxing in his touch you closed your eyes, savoring the feel. You reached up, hands resting on his chest, taking in fistfuls of his shirt as you pulled him closer. The taste of iron and coffee mixed into a perfect concoction, making your own personal heaven. You leaned into his touch, you needed to be closer. 

Sugawara felt it too, deepening the kiss. His arms snaking around your waist as he pulled you onto him. Your legs on either side of his waist as his fingers found yours, digging into the thick fabric of your sweater.

You savored the moment. It was everything you had wanted, everything you needed.

He pulled away reluctantly, smiling at your flushed, breathless state. But the moment was short lived as realization sunk in. You, his student, pressed up against him. Beaten and bloodied in his hands, and he had kissed you. He pulled away, easing you off of him as he stumbled to his feet. “I shouldn’t have done that. I told myself I wasn’t going to do that.” 

You got up, reaching for his hand. “Koushi, I lov…”,

“You need to go, you need to leave now.” He pulled his hand away, backing away.

You looked at him in disbelief, reaching out again. If you could just touch him, get him to listen.

“Please just go, I want you to leave.” He pushed your hand away, pointing towards the open door.

You turned, walking to the door. Watching as Sugawara paced the room. You stopped, hand on the door.

“Go.” He repeated, looking down.

You walked out, closing the door behind you.


	10. Chapter 10

It was wrong and he knew it. 

He was your teacher, that should be all he was to you. 

That day he saw you sitting in his classroom, ready to learn as a student, his student. 

That's the day he should have put his silly feelings behind him. 

But you made it so hard for him. He could see it, the soft smiles you gave him, the lasting glances. He was no stranger to the feeling. He had his fair share of crushes in school. But he knew he was infatuated with you. For him it wasn’t just a temporary thing, he loved you. 

But your feelings, they were only a crush.

You were young, new to the idea. He had shown you kindness, sweet words, lasting stares. He had fed into that crush, led you on with false hope. 

If things were only different. You were out of school, had met each other elsewhere. He could have asked you to dinner, held your hand in the park, maybe even stayed the night with you. But that just wasn’t the case.

You had come to him in a vulnerable state last night, and he took advantage of that.

He wanted to apologize, explain to you why something like this couldn’t work out. He should have done it last night, but he panicked. A momentary lapse of judgment. He owed it to you to do it today. 

So here he sat, leg bouncing under his desk as he waited for the first bell to ring. His students were slowly filling in for the day, chatting amongst each other as they took their seats. 

Most of them already knew about the fight last night, it had been the mornings gossip as he came in. 

Sugawara had called it in once you left, demanding that the principal come in to review the courtyard tapes. He had pulled Hina and her four friends into the principal's office when he saw them come down the hallways for class. They were expelled immediately, that was the schools guidelines. This was a private academy, and everyone had to sign a no conflict agreement upon enrollment. They had come clean in the office, owned up to everything they had done to you. 

‘’Six pairs of slippers...where did they even find the room to keep these…’’ Sugawara watched as they emptied out their lockers. It did fill him with a little bit of joy seeing their empty desks. If it made your day easier, that was enough for him. 

The final bell rang and the last of the students walked into the classroom. His eyes swept each group as they walked through the doors.

He waited for you, the familiar hair color, the sound of your voice, the jingle of your bag. But nothing like that trailed behind Hiroto and Yua as they walked into the room.

“Maybe she’s just late, but i’m sure she'll come in before long.” He started the lesson without you, talking about the morning announcements and the days agenda. Before long class was over and you were nowhere to be seen. It was excusable, last night was rough for you. He would just apologize to you tomorrow. But he didn’t see you.

He has asked the office why you stopped coming to class when he dropped off your work at the front office everyday before he left. 

“Her father calls her in sick every day, and the homework is missing when I come in. I’m not sure who picks it up, but she must be really ill if she's still out.” The secretary smiled as she placed the new worksheets in the basket. 

He hadn’t seen anyone come pick up your work, and he was checking, obsessively. 

He had also questioned your friends, asking if they knew why you had been gone for so long and if you were doing ok with the work. But they just gave him the same answer. 

“She’s been really sick, but I think her cousin is checking in on her. He’s been coming in to pick up her homework before school starts, he's probably helping her too.” Hiroto smiled ,Yua nodding. 

Maybe you really were just sick. 

\----

Keys jingled as your door unlocked, Iwaizumi pushed the door open, stepping inside. 

The house was a mess. Daily chores had gone undone, the result of your week in isolation. The furniture had been moved to the corners of the living room, replaced by a makeshift bed. Layers upon layers of blankets covered the hardwood floor, surrounded by a sea of pillows big and small. He looked around the dark room, blinds pulled shut, as they had been for days. A horror movie flashed across the t.v screen, the same one that had been playing yesterday. 

“How long have you two been up?” He frowned at you and Oikawa, tucked under the sheets. Your eyes glued to the screen, void and dark. That was enough of an answer for him. 

\----

It was late when you got home that night from the school. You had just needed someone to talk to, someone to tell you it was going to be alright. When Oikawa picked up the phone he sounded tired, having been in bed for hours. You sat on the line silent for a moment, unable to choke out the words you wanted to say. 

“Do you need me to come over?”, was all he said. 

Your “yes” was quiet, barely a whisper.

But that was all he needed. He was in Tokyo visiting friends, a good four hours away. But sure enough, around 3 a.m you found a frazzled Oikawa, dressed only in his pajamas at your front door.

He was heartbroken when he saw you, standing in the doorway, eyes glassy and tired. He held you there, whispering loving words into your hair as you cried. He was happy you called him, glad you had chosen to suffer with him. He had watched you do it some many times alone, wishing he could be the solace you needed. He loved you, in more ways than one. But now wasn’t the right time, right now his only job was to take care of you. 

He walked you up the stairs to your room hand in hand. Sitting you down on the bed while he raided your closet. He found you something clean and comfortable to wear as opposed to your soiled school uniform. He would take care of those later.

You got dressed while he searched your bathroom for a medical kit. The echoes of closing cabinets rings down the dark hallway. He kept the lights off as per your request, your head throbbing.

He didn’t take long to clean you up, making sure to be gentle with the then forming bruises. You were minutes away from sleep when he finished, exhausted from the day you had. He was packing up the supplies when you reached for his hand, cold fingers pulling at his sleeve.

“Tooru, will you stay with me tonight. I don’t want to be alone.” You opened up the covers, moving over to clear him a space in your bed. 

He sighed and shook his head, he couldn’t say no to you. 

It was cramped with the two of you together, far smaller then planned. But you fell asleep in no time. He stayed awake awhile longer, cherishing the feeling of holding you once again.

When you woke up he was already down stairs with Iwaizumi. He had called him that morning panicking. Oikawa was never good with talking to you at times like these, scared to say something he would regret. That was Iwaizumi’s job. 

He was the rational, level headed one. He had been your reasoning in life, but Tooru had always been your structure. The one thing you could hold onto when you felt like the world was caving in around you. 

You didn’t open up until the next day, sitting next to Oikawa on the couch. It was sudden, but you could just feel it needing to come out. You told him everything, all the feelings you had for Sugawara, how confusing he had been, what had happened. 

He stayed quiet, squeezing your hand reassuringly when you struggled with the right words. It felt good to get it all out finally. Sure Yoshiki knew about your feelings, but not the details. Those had seemed intimate, something to keep to yourself. 

Oikawa wasn't mad, he never made you feel bad for your actions, only nodding along as you explained yourself. “Well, you need to decide if what you told me is worthwhile to tell him."

Who was this wise and calm man? Definitely not the same one who had forgotten to put the water in his ramen before microwaving it last night. 

\----

“I have your homework for today.” Iwaizumi sat down next to you and laid the packet in your lap.

It had been a week now since you went to school, opting to do your work at home while Iwaizumi called you out everyday as your father. 

“But you’ll have to turn it in yourself tomorrow.” His voice was soft but stern, his usual tone with you.

Oikawa turned his head towards you at the mention of class, glued on your reaction.

You were silent, looking down at the work in your hands. Sugawara had written small notes along the margins for the course work, page numbers and examples to help you along the way. You ran your fingers over his penmanship, taking in the curves and lines unique to him. 

“Kiddo I can’t keep calling you out. I know you said you didn’t want to talk to me about what happened after the fight. But staying here isn’t going to fix anything.” Iwaizumi's finger lifted to your cheek, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

You nodded, he was right. “Ok, I'll go back.” 

Iwaizumi stood up, happy to see your shift in mood. “Now let's clean up all of this, it's a disaster in here.”

"Yep, you guys get this place cleaned up!” Oikawa smiled as he made way for the front door. 

Iwaizumi grabbed him by the collar, pulling him towards the kitchen. “You can help us clean Tooru-chan. If you have time to mess up F/N’s house, you can at least clean some of it too.”

You laughed as the arguing continued from the kitchen. Oikawa was definitely not winning by the sounds of it.

You walked into class the next morning, excited to see your friends. You hadn’t really talked much while you were gone, unsure of what to say about the whole situation. 

As per usual, they were at their desks when you walked into the room, arguing over some minute detail in a t.v show from the night before.

“Are you idiots still arguing about that?" Laughing, you took your seat.

"You're alive!” Yua screamed as she jumped on you.

Hiroto walked over, ruffling your hair with a laugh. “I’m glad you're feeling better, I don’t think I could take another class period alone with her."

Yua pouted at his remark, you only laughed.

The morning bell rang as the substitute walked in. “Good morning, Sugawara Sensei is stuck in a meeting this morning so just work on your homework for this period. But he will be back for your science class late.” 

“Figures, the first day I'm back and he's not even in class.” 

Once the morning announcements were over the substitute left the classroom. 

“So your face is looking better. ” Yua smiled as she looked over your fading bruises and cuts. 

“Yeah, I think they should all be gone by next week.” You laughed, feeling over your blackened eye. 

“I’m glad they kicked out Hina and her friends. It’s been so quiet since she left, Sugawara-sensei looks happy too. I’m sure it's nice not having to hide from a bunch of crazy teenage girls.” Hiroto chuckled. 

Yua rolled her eyes. “Well that's what they get. If I was there I would have beat her ass."

Now it was your turn to laugh as Yua punched Hiroto playfully. “Yeah, I'm sure you would have been so much help.", you teased.

Classes for the day went on as it normally would have. You handed in the assigned work as the periods went by, thanking you teachers for their concerns. Most of them had been really worried with your absence, glad to see you were finally well again.

The lunch bell rang, everyone packing up their bags to leave for the cafeteria. 

“Hey, I'm going to hand in my homework to Sugawara-sensei. You guys can go on ahead of me. I’ll meet you in the lunchroom once i'm done!” Waving goodbye, you and your friends parted ways for the hour.

When you got to the classroom it was empty, the lights off and blinds closed.

The school had made a new rule in your absence. After they expelled Hina and her friends, they found out they had been hiding in the classroom waiting for Sugawara. Many of them underclassmen that were not allowed to be on the floor to begin with. The principle put a stop to it, issuing a no lunch in classrooms order. 

You peeked your head into his office. “I wonder if he’s even done with his meeting?” You took a seat on the sofa, watching the students pass by out the window as you waited. 

The click of the door startled you, a tired Sugawara walked inside of the office setting down a stack of folders. 

You turned around, smiling at him. “Hi Sensei. How was your meeting?” 

He wasn’t expecting you back today, none the less sitting in his office when he came back from his meeting. “L/N-san, you're feeling better I take it?” He smiled back at you, taking a seat at his desk. “Did you have any questions on your work?” 

“Not really on the work,” You set down the completed worksheets on the desk. “but I was wondering if we could talk?”

“She’s gone a whole week, and she came in here right off the bat asking to talk?” He was dumbfounded by you. He had expected an adjustment period, a window of time where you ignored him. He expected that he would have to corner you one day before practice, force you to give him the time to explain. But here you were, ready to talk the second you saw each other. “What do you want to talk about?” He laughed nervously, trying to play it off as a simple conversation. 

“Well, I wanted to talk about what happened the last time we saw each other. I wanted to talk about the kis…”

”Oh yeah that!” His voice was a little louder than intended as he cut you off. He wanted to be the rational one, he had practiced a very rational speech for this very moment. But all the sudden the words just didn’t seem to fit what he wanted to say to you. 

He stared at you for a moment, thinking of what to do. 

“Sensei, do you want me to go first...or do you want to?” Tilting your head, you watched as he focused back in on the conversation.

“I’m sorry...I had practiced what I was going to say and I can’t remember any of it.” He chuckled to himself, hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Just give me the jist of it.” You nodded, giving him the floor to speak. 

Taking a deep breath he nodded back to you. “F/N, I know you're probably confused. I’ve been saying and...doing some things I shouldn’t have been doing with you.” 

He looked up at you and frowned, “But we can’t be doing this. It’s wrong of me as your teacher to have romantic feelings for you. You're a beautiful, bright woman and I know you’ll do amazing things once you graduate. But not if I continue doing this to you…” 

He focused his gaze out the window behind you, cheeks growing hot. “That day you were hurt. You came to me for help and I took advantage of the situation. You may think you have real feelings for me F/N, but it's just a crush. You’ll get over it…” 

You gritted your teeth at his statement, keeping quiet long enough for him to finish. 

“I’m really sorry F/N, things were different when I first met you at the coffee shop. I should have stopped this the day I came into class, but I didn’t and I'm sure I hurt you because of that.” Sugawara stood up from his chair, moving to sit beside you.

“Coffee shop? Sensei I don’t remember meeting you this summer…” You were confused now, you would have remembered Sugawara coming into the small shop, you remembered all of your customers.

“It would make sense that you wouldn’t remember me, I did only talk to you when I was ordering...and that time I asked you for a napkin.” Sugawara gave you a sad laugh, of course you never noticed him. Why would you when he never made any efforts to talk to you until now. 

“But whatever I felt then doesn’t matter now. You're my student L/N-san, that's what we need to leave it at.” He gave you a stern look, like a mother scolding her child.

“Sensei, it feels like you're trying to tell me how I feel about you…” You returned his look as you stood up. “You may have more experience in this kind of stuff, I mean I've only had one boyfriend and that was in elementary school. But this doesn’t feel like that to me. Sensei I lov…” 

“F/N, I know it may feel like you have feelings for me, but it's just temporary. We get along just fine, I'm sure this feeling is new to you with a guy. Teenage boys are strange and the boys you interact with everyday make you uncomfortable.” He cut you off again, this was starting to sound like a puberty talk. 

“Sugawara, listen to me. I lov…”

"One day you’ll realise how funny this all is. It’s a weird time for everyone your age, and relationships are going to be heavy on your mind. But don’t rush into it with the first guy you have an interest for. This will pass, I promise, and…”

You were about to lose your mind. You should have just gone first. “Koushi, I love you!” You screamed over his rambling. 

He gave you a stunned look, opening his mouth to speak, but closing it immediately when the words didn’t come. 

You finally had your chance to talk now that he was staring at you like a fish out of water. 

“You are acting like I'm a child Koushi. I’m 18, and I know that doesn’t account for a lot. But I’m pretty sure I'm old enough to decide how I feel without someone putting words in my mouth. I love you Koushi, I've loved you for awhile. Now I understand if you don’t want to pursue this because of your job. But god dammit, don’t act like I didn’t want this as much as you. I wanted that kiss Koushi, just as much as you did. So can you just for a moment talk to me like an adult about what you really want to do about this?”

He watched you pace back and forth as you spoke, now he felt like the child. 

“Can you please say something?” You were pleading with him now, begging for anything.

“What do I say? What do I fucking say?” He stared at you, eyes wide.

“Ok, I get it. I’ll just go.” You were defeated, the conversation had been pointless. Turning to leave you grabbed the door knob, pulling it open. 

His hand shot up, slamming the door closed in front of you. 

You turned into his chest, taking a step back at the close proximity. "Kou…"

“I need you to say it. One more time.” He leaned down, eye level with you now. 

Your back was pressed flush against the door. “Sensei, what are you doing?” You panicked now, eyes on your shoes as he inched closer.

“Please say it, just one more time.” He tilted your chin up, voice soft as he looked over you with dark eyes. 

“I..I love you.” 

Those words were enough for him. He closed the gap between you two, pressing his lips roughly against yours. He moved his hand off the door and behind your head, deepening the kiss as he pulled you closer. 

You slid your hands up his chest, pushing slightly to distance your lips. “Koushi...wait”, you mumbled between kisses. 

He pulled away, picking you up and setting you on his desk. “Shh, stop talking.” He chuckled as your lips met again. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. 

He smiled into the kiss, placing his arms on the desk to stabilize himself. His lips were soft, your mind fuzzy as he moved along your own. His hand slid behind you, pulling you closer to the edge of the desk. 

Gasping in surprise he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. 

The previous coffee taste had been switched out for cherry something. You couldn’t quite figure it out, what was that taste. It was on the tip of your tongue and so was he. 

The class bell rang, the both of you separating.

You were breathless, cheeks hot as he stared at you. 

“I love you too. Probably more than I should, but I love you too." He pecked your lips again, bringing a smile to your face. 

You got off the desk, patting down you messy hair.

He on the other hand looked perfect, completely untouched as he watched you straighten your skirt.

“Koushi does this mean…” 

He cut you off by turning you around and pushing you out the door. “We can talk about the logistics of it after school.” He planted a kiss on your cheek before closing the door behind you. 

You placed a hand on your face as the students started walking into the classroom. 

“Hey F/N-chan...why is your face so red?” Yua looked at you weird as she scanned over your figure. 

“Physical activities.” You laughed as you walked over to your desk. I mean, you weren't lying.


	11. Chapter 11

“Good afternoon class. I hope you had a great first part of your day.” Sugawara smiled as he walked out of his office.

“Sadly I just got called to another meeting, but I think today would be a good day for you to get started on some ideas for our new project! L/N-san, can you come hand these out for me?” He set down a stack of papers on his desk and started for the door. 

“If you have any questions i’ll be in my office after school. Just come by and I can answer them.” He waved a hand as he rushed out the door. 

You started passing around the project papers, students grumbling to each other as they looked over it. 

“And no partners! I can tell when you and your seatmates work together, you all end up sounding like little carbon copies!” Sugawara peeked his head around the door again, giving everyone a hardened glare. “Bye, bye kids. Have a fantastic day!” His features lightened as he waved a goodbye once again, grinning at his students' sad faces. 

“He just gives a huge project and leaves, what the hell?” Yua frowned as she looked over her assignment sheet.

“Yeah you're telling me…” You pout. “You’ve been gone all day, kiss me like that, shove me out of your office. Now, right when I figured I could stare at you all I wanted, you just leave again.”

“So basically we need to write a fifteen page essay about a chemical that's made the modern day easier, and make a 3d model of the structural formula of that chemical. He hates us, that's the only reason he would give us all this work and make it due in two weeks.” Hiroto moans, letting his head fall onto the desk. 

“I couldn’t even write out O2C last week.” Yua cried, pulling on your arm. 

“Yua… it's CO2. That's probably why you failed the quiz. Plus the answer is easy, it's Penicillin. Without it we wouldn’t have any of today's medicine.” Rolling your eyes, you pulled out your notebook from your bag.

Your friends were dumbfounded.

“How did you know that?” Hiroto yelled, Yua now staring at her hands in shock. 

“Sugawara-sensei told us last week five different ideas we could use for this essay. He listed Penicillin first, do you not listen in class?” Were your friends really that dumb, you watched them take notes that day.

“I’ve been calling it O2C for weeks. Everyone was laughing, I figured it was just a funny word. They were laughing at me…?” Yua muttered to herself, downward spiraling. 

“You're both hopeless, what do you do all day in class?” They really were absolute idiots. 

Class went on as usual as the day proceeded. Before long it was time to pack up and head to practice.

“Let's walk to the gym together since we don’t have to clean today F/N-chan!” Yua grabbed your hand pulling you towards the locker rooms. 

“I have to go talk to Sugawara-sensei about the essay before I go. I’ll meet you in the locker rooms?” You slipped out of her hold, walking the opposite way.

“Good luck, I heard a bunch of people needed to see him about the project.” She laughed, making her way down the hallway. 

“If I run, I may catch him first.” You stopped at the door to your classroom. A line of students stood by his office, chatting amongst themselves as he opened the door. 

“Ok, who's next?” He looked around the room, giving you a sweet smile as the next student walked into his office. 

You scowled at the line causing him to laugh. 

He pulled out his phone, wiggling it at you before closing the office door. 

“So much for talking about the “logistics”. All i’m going to get it a stupid text from him.” As if on cue your phone buzzed in your jacket. Slipping it out of your pocket, you opened the message.

“Don’t look so sad, you look like a little kid when you frown like that. Wait for me after practice and I'll give you a ride home. We can talk about us then, ok? 

Who did he think he was, did he think texting you “us” would make you less mad that you couldn’t see him right now. Well he was right. You kept reading the message on your way to the gym, flushed at the word. “Are we “us” now, like a whole connected thing. Are we a “thing” now?” 

You were shaking your head at the thought, eyes trained on your phone screen as you walked right into someone.

“Ah, i’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” You blushed, looking up.

“F/N-chan, how are you?” Yoshiki smiled down at you. He was dressed in his soccer uniform, face red from whatever warm up they had already begun. 

“Yoshiki-kun, why do you have your uniform on?” You looked over him, taking notice of the keys in his hand. 

“Oh, we have a practice game today. But we need the ball pump from one of these storage closet” He laughed, you wondered how many closets he had checked before he made it up to the third floor. 

“Well if you want to steal ours you can. We blew all ours up a few days ago.” You continued walking, nodding for him to follow you.

“Please, I've been looking for thirty minutes.” He chuckled, though it really wasn’t all that funny. 

You walked together to the volleyball gym, catching up along the way.

“By the way, how's things going with you know who?” Yoshiki leaned in whispering the last part. 

“Good, I think?” You blushed as you thought back to his office. 

“Good, i’m sure things will work out one way or another.” He nudged your shoulder, giving you a playful wink.

You giggled, shooting him a smile before opening the gym doors. “The pump is in the closet, just bring it back tomorrow.” You pointed to the closet doors, watching him walk off towards them. 

“Late again!” Semi nagged, you shook your head at her and walked off to the locker rooms. “If you keep coming in late i’m going to make you run extra laps!” She yelled as you opened the door. 

“My day was good, I thought I was going to fail my math test but I got a 90 on it, and…” Your voice grew faint as you disappeared into the locker rooms. 

“I am going to lock her in the storage closet, I swear.” Semi laughed as Yua shook her head at you. 

“She’s lucky she’s such a good player or I would have done that a long time ago.”

You were pulling your t-shirt over your head when your phone started to vibrate on the bench. Pulling your arms through you reached for the phone and lifted it to your ear. “Don’t you have students you should be helping sensei?” You teased as you shifted the phone to your shoulder. 

“Mhm, I do. But someone didn’t bother texting me back.” Sugawara spoke flatly as he looked through his files.

“I’m sorry, I got distracted on my way to the gym. It's easy to get side tracked dealing with your relentless teasing and Semi’s impending nagging.” You pulled out your shorts from your bag, skirt sliding down your legs.

“Wow, that sounds so tasking. Maybe you shouldn’t be late to practice every day F/N-chan.” He was monotoned, closing the filing cabinet.

You rolled your eyes as you slid on your shorts.“Maybe you shouldn’t seduce your students in your office during lunch Koushi-kun.”

He snorted, shaking his head. “Haha, so funny. Just come meet me in my office once you're done with your tedious volleyball training.” 

You sat down and pulled your shoes out of your bag. “I hope you're not trying to seduce me again sensei…” 

Sugawara chuckled on the other line. “Oh, we’ll see what I do to you when you get here.” Sugawara ended the call, opening the door for the next student to come into his office. 

You looked at your phone in disbelief, “He hung up on me, what a bra…” 

“God damnit F/N-chan, come on we're waiting for you to start practice!” The sudden outburst made you jump. Yua’s head was peeking out the locker room door, plastered with annoyance. 

“Ahh, i’m sorry Yua-chan. I’m coming.” You gave her an apologetic look as you ran past her into the gym. 

“Finally, now we can start out warm ups.” Semi frowned as you joined the group. 

“I’m sorry Semi-san” You gave her an apologetic bow, keeping your eyes glued on the floor. She really did look mad this time.

A soft fist connected with your head. “It’s fine, just make sure you make the most out of today's practice. We don’t have long before the spring tournament.” You looked up, a soft smile on her face. 

You nodded in agreement, thankful you had such a kind captain. 

“Ok, let's start off with some stretches!” She clapped her hands together as she made her way to the middle of the group. You followed her instruction for the guided warm up, falling in with the rest of your team mates. 

“So who were you talking to in the locker room?” Yua whispered to you as you switched stretches. 

“Oh, just my mom. She wanted to know how school was going.” You rolled your eyes, giving her a small smile.

She looked at you skeptically, “Huh, ok.” 

“She didn’t hear anything did she? Yua would have said something if she knew what was going on.” 

“Ok, let's work on some blocking. Setters and spikers on one side of the net, everyone else on the other.” Coach Irihata shouted as he rolled in the ball cart. 

Yua was already gone when you looked back.

\----

“Ok good practice girls, go ahead and clean up for the night!” Everyone thanked Irihata as he left for the night. 

“Let me help you with the net!” You jogged to catch up with Yua. 

“If you want to.” She shrugged as she started to lower the net. 

“She definitely knows something, she's never this quiet.” 

“Is everything ok Yua-chan? You’ve been pretty quiet since warm ups…” You helped her take off the net, watching her face. 

“Have I?” She was monotone, folding the net as she walked past you to the storage room. 

“Yeah, you have. Did I do something to upset you? Because i’m really sorry if I did.” You rushed to catch up to her. 

“How can you be sorry if you don’t even know what you did?” She set the folder net onto the linen rack, turning around to leave.

You stepped in behind her, blocking her exit from the closet. “Well, if you would tell me what I did I could properly apologize for it.”

She shook her head at you. “No, now move. If you can’t figure it out on your own then it clearly doesn’t matter to you.” She tried to push past you as you moved to corner her again. 

“Yua, please just talk to me. What did I do?” It wasn’t like her to shut you out like this. She had always been the type to voice her frustrations with you as soon as she had them. 

“No, now move!” Her voice was loud, pulling the attention of your teammates to the storage closet. 

“Hey, what's going on with you two?” Semi yelled as she started for the closet. 

You looked between them before pulling the storage closet doors closed. 

“F/N-chan what are you doing?” Yua shouted as she reached for the doors,

“No, were talking about this. You're clearly upset about something and I'm not leaving this closet until you tell me what I did to piss you off this much.” You leaned against the closed door, blocking her hands.

The doors rattled behind you as your teammates tried to force it open. “Go get the keys from Irihata-sensei!” Someone called out from behind the door.

“You want to know why i’m mad? You're always going missing during lunch. You're late to practice every day. You get in a fight, and go missing for a week claiming to be “sick”. Now you're talking to someone in private and hiding it from me. Hiroto notices it too, so does Yoshiki. What are you doing F/N-chan? Who are you so afraid to tell me and Hiroto about?” Yua bit her lip, curing her hands into tight fists. 

“Yua-chan, I can explain everything. Just not right now.” It hurt you seeing her like this. She deserved to know, she was your best friend. But you still had things to figure out yourself. 

The door lock clicked and Yumi pulled it open.

“Well, when you can explain everything then we can talk.” She pushed past you and the other team members, walking out of the gym. 

“F/N-chan, what was that all about? Why did you do that?” Yumi questioned as you watched Yua leave. 

“It doesn't matter, let's just finish cleaning so I can go home.” You moved past the vice captian, ready to be done with the practice. 

You were the last to leave, taking your time in the locker room as you got dressed. You checked your phone, hoping for a message from Yua. But you had nothing, not even a snarky reply from Sugawara. 

“Well, this fucking sucks.” You muttered to yourself as you closed your locker. 

It was already close to 8 p.m as you made your way out of the gym. Practice had gone late, the sun already set for the night. You walked through the courtyard, looking up at Sugawara’s dark window. 

“He must have gone home already, probably tired of waiting for me.” You sighed as you turned around, walking to the school gates. “Maybe I can call him when I get on the train. I’m sure i’ll be the only one on it so late at night.” 

“Took you long enough, I've been standing out here for an hour.” Sugawara called to you, turning your attention to the parking lot. 

“You're still here, I figured you would have left by now.” You made your way over to him. 

He leaned up against his car, an open book set on the roof. “Why would I do that, I promised you a ride home.” He chuckled lightly as he watched you trudged towards him. 

You walked into his frame, burying your face in his chest as you wrapped your arms lazily around his waist. “Today sucked,” You mumbled, words muffled by his coat.

“Yeah? Tell me about it.” He smoothed out your hair, his touch continuing down to rub small circles along your back. 

“Can we go home?” You looked up at him, taking in his soft smile.

“Of course, come on.” He led you to the passenger side, opening the door for you to get inside. Walking around he climbed inside and started the car. 

“Are you hungry? I’m sure you haven’t eaten since lunch.” He shot you a look as he turned around, backing up the car into the road.

“No, I'm fine.” You frowned, looking out your window. 

He reached over, brushing a stand of hair out of your face. “Hey, what happened?” 

You chewed your lip, what was he going to say. You hadn’t even talked about being together and people were already suspecting things. 

“I can’t help if you don’t tell me F/N.” His touch trailed down your jaw, turning your head towards him.

He was right, you were going to have to tell him. 

“I’m actually pretty hungry.”Maybe just not yet.

He gave you an amused smile, turning the car onto the highway. “Ok. Food first, talking after. What are you hungry for?”

You shrugged, earning a small laugh from him. 

“I know a good place close to your house.” He reached over and turned on the radio, guiding the volume to a comfortable level. You were happy he didn’t press further. 

You turned to the window again, watching as the street lights passed by. What were you going to tell Yua, surely Koushi would want to keep whatever this was a secret. But if you didn’t tell her something, who knows if she would want to talk to you again. She ignored you for a whole two months just because you didn’t tell her about your summer job. This time she was actually mad, she might never talk to you again.

“It’s not much, but I've been eating here after school for years.” Sugawara pulled into the parking space, a convenience store lit up in front of you. 

“Oh, i've been here before. Doesn’t the Karasuno coach own this place? I see a lot of the boys volleyball team here whenever I stop by.” You looked over to Sugawara as he unclicked his seat belt. 

“Yeah he does. I used to come here with the team when I was still in school. Come on, i’m sure we're going to be the only ones inside.” He opened the door, stepping out of the car.

You got out, walking next to Sugawara into the store.

“Sugawara-san, it's been a bit since you came in.” A blonde man smiled from the counter. 

Sugawara grinned and walked over to him. “Coach Ukai, it’s nice to see you. How have you been?” Following behind him, you stopped in front of the counter. 

“Good, busy with training for the spring tournament.” Ukai looked over to you and back to Sugawara. “Girlfriend?” 

Your face grew hot as you grabbed a handful of Sugawara's coat, pulling him closer. 

“We’ll have to see.” He laughed. His heart squeezed as he looked at your shy state, pressed up against him to avoid Ukai’s curious looks.

“Well i’ll have one bun and…” He leaned down to you, “How many buns do you want F/N?” 

You shifted on your feet. “Just one…”, you mumbled into his sleeve. 

“I can’t hear you honey, how many?” He leaned down, face inches from your own.

Ukai smirked, he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Just one Koushi.” You grumbled, flushed again from his pet name. 

“Just two buns, please.” Sugawara paid Ukai, waving a goodbye to him before walking with you to the car. 

Ukai watched as Sugawara opened the door for you, closing it softly before walking to the drivers side and getting in. “Young love…” He rolled his eyes, smiling as Sugawara’s car disappeared down the street. 

\----

Sugawara pulled the car into your driveway, putting it in park and shutting it off. He reached into the bag, handing you a pork bun. You thanked him as you took it, looking over the squishy steamed bun. 

“I hope that's ok for you.” He pulled out his own, taking a bite. 

“Yeah, this is fine. I haven’t had a steamed bun in awhile.” You took a small bite, savoring the taste. The warmth spread through your chest as you took another bite. 

“Good?” Sugawara questioned. 

You nod in response, smiling as you chewed. You sat in silence while you finished your buns. Before long they were gone, and your stomach full. “Thank you Koushi, that made me feel a little bit better” 

“Did it? I’m glad, I was hoping it would.” He reached over, taking your hand in his. 

You had stalled long enough, you're going to have to talk to him sooner or later. 

He scanned over your face for a moment, looking for something. He got out of the car suddenly, coming around to open your door. “Out” He motioned for you to get out as he stood to the side. 

You got out, giving him a weird look as he closed the passenger door. 

He reached for the back door, pulling it open, and nodding for you to get in. 

You got in stiffly, watching as he walked to the other side and slid in.

“Head” He pointed to his lap now. 

You obeyed, laying your head on his lap as you got comfortable on the seat. 

He pushed your hair out of your face as you looked up at him, running his fingers through your hair. “Now can you please tell me what happened?” His words were delicate, providing you with a safe space to speak .

You relaxed into his touch, closing your eyes as he raked his long fingers through your hair. “Yua and me got into a fight. Her and Hiroto think I've been acting weird lately, and I mean I have. They think I'm hanging out with someone I shouldn’t be around, and I know I can’t tell anyone about you and I spending all this time together. But if I don’t say something to her, i’m scared she won’t forgive me for doing all this behind her back.” 

Sugawara reached down to wipe the blossoming tear from your lashes. 

You opened your eyes again, looking up into his. They had become a safe place for you, where all the anger and bitterness of the day melted away. 

You sat up, rubbing your eyes with your shirt sleeve. “Koushi, I don’t know what to do. If I tell her the truth and she reacts badly then I lose you. But if I don’t say anything then I lose my best friends.” 

He placed a hand on your shoulder, leaning you back against his chest. “What if you didn’t tell her the complete truth, but not a lie either?” 

You looked at him puzzled. “I’m not following…” 

“Like a white lie. You could tell her that you're talking to someone older, and you just didn’t want her to be upset. You don’t have to tell her it's me, just make up some random college student.” He spoke into the back of your head, arms wrapping around your middle. 

This man was a genius. “That could actually work. I know she would want to meet them. But I can say that they live in Tokyo. Koushi you are absolutely brilliant.” You turned around to pull him into a hug.

“F/N, that's all if we do this. We still need to talk about what happened today.” Suwara pulled away, a frown pulling at his lips.

“I can keep this quiet, no one will find out about us.” You smiled, ready to commit.

He shook his head, that wasn’t enough for him. 

“F/N, I don’t think you realise everything that's going to come with us dating. Sure we're going to have to keep quiet about everything while you're still in school. I won’t be able to be openly affectionate like you may want. I won’t be able to take you on public dates, I can’t kiss you in public, or hold your hand. F/N I can’t be seen in public with you at all. This will have to be a completely secret relationship.” He pleaded with you, his gaze hard. He needed you to realize just what you were giving up if you decided to pursue this. 

“That's fine, I can handle that Koushi.” You reached for his hands, taking his softly in yours. 

He put them back in your lap, retracting away from your touch. “But that's not it. I’m going to be 23 next month Y/N, I don’t want a fling. I want to be with you for as long as I can, and if you say you want to do this, I plan on making this work long term. If we do that people are eventually going to find out. Not everyone is going to be understanding, a lot of people will be upset. What will your family and friends think, are you going to be ok if they don’t accept this. This is going to be a life long decision you live with if you say yes. People can be so mean Y/N, and you take things so hard. I don’t want to see you hurt because of the things they might say. I love you so much, and if ending this right here is the best option for the both of us i’ll be fine with it. But if you want to be with me, and you're ready for everything that's going to come with it. I’ll love you for as long as you’ll let me.” 

You knew he was right, things would be difficult if you decided to pursue a relationship with him. But what relationship isn’t hard, that's just part of life. What mattered was who you had next to you in the end, and if it was him after everything you would be more than happy. 

You reached up cupping his cheeks. Leaning into him you placed a soft kiss to his lips, his reservations melting as he eased into your embrace. He wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you into his lap. 

Tangling your fingers in his hair, you settled into his lap. You pulled away, admiring the crimson painted across his face. “Koushi, I love you. I know I can’t promise you a lot, but I do know that whatever happens. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. I know it's not always going to be easy, but the only thing that matters to me is that I have you at the end of the day. If you can give me that, then I want to be with you, forever.” 

He reached up, holding your face in his hands as he took in all your features. He wanted to remember it all, the way the street lights reflected off your E/C eyes, the soft red that danced it's way across your cheeks and over the small of your nose. He wanted to be able to recall where every freckle was placed along your skin, barely visible in the dim light, or how soft and rosey your lips were after kissing him like that, slightly plumped from the blood rush. He wanted to remember the feeling of you in his arms, all his for the first time. The weight of you on top of him, and the way his heart sped up when you touched him so lovingly. He wanted to remember the smells, the sounds, the tastes of this very moment. The moment he could finally love you the way he had so desperately wanted too. “I love you too.” 

Your lips met again as he laced his fingers in the base of your hair. He shifted you, laying you down on the warm leather of the seat. 

You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. The passionate kisses had your head spinning, the fuzzy feeling spreading throughout your body. 

He pulled away, breathless and beaming. 

His smile always gave you butterflies, no matter how many times you saw it. You were lost in his hazel eyes. You could count the colors you found in them on both hands and still have more to go. The golden fleck mixed in with the greens, blues, and browns. Making the colorful constellation that was Sugawara Koushi.

“Koushi, you're beautiful.” You cradled his cheeks, leaning up to press soft kisses across his face. Starting at his beauty mark you peppered them down his cheek and along his jawline before placing a sweet kiss to his lips. 

He lifted you back up, letting out a shaky breath. “If you keep saying things like that I may never let you leave this car.” 

You giggled at his remark, happy to see the effect you had on him. 

He looked back at you, biting his lip before opening the car door and getting out. He opened your door, helping you out. “I need to be a responsible boyfriend and get you inside at a reasonable time.”

You looked at your watch, it was close to midnight now. “Reasonable time huh?” 

“Reasonable enough” He laughed as he took your hand. He walked you up to your door, squeezing it with each step. 

You unlocked the door and pushed it open. “Will you call me when you get home?” 

He lifted your hand to his lips, kissing it gingerly. “I’ll call you as soon as I get home.” 

You grinned, placing a tender kiss to his lips once more. 

“Goodnight F/N” He smiled, hand slipping from yours.

“Goodnight Koushi.” You watched him walk back down the stairs to his car. Waving at him as he backed out of the driveway before disappearing down the street. “I guess today wasn’t so bad after all.”


	12. Chapter 12

You had just stepped out of the bathroom when the phone rang. You tousled your wet hair with the towel, picking up the phone. “Hey, did you make it home ok?” You bit your lip, trying to contain the smile that pulled at your lips. 

“I did, you're so close I could have probably walked home.” Koushi laughed on the other end. “What are you doing? I’m sure you're pretty tired, it's already really late..” You could hear him suppressing a yawn between words. 

“I just got out of the shower. I’m getting a little tired, I'm guessing you are too?” You giggled, pulling back the covers of your comforter. 

“I should let you sleep then…” He trailed off. He was hoping the conversation would have lasted longer. He was still craving your voice, your presence. But you needed sleep, he needed sleep. You both had class in the morning. 

“I don’t really want the call to end just yet...could you talk to me for a while longer?” You had settled into your bed, the cool sheets slowly warming up with your body heat. 

“Of course, what do you want to talk about?”

You could hear him messing with something in the background. “You could just walk me through your night time routine.” 

“Huh, ok…?” He chuckled to himself, “Well, right now I'm walking up the stairs to the bathroom.” 

You hummed in response, reaching over to turn off your bedside lamp. 

“Now i’m turning on the bathroom sink, putting some toothpaste on my toothbrush…”

“Proper hygiene is important.” You sleepily added, pulling yourself back under the covers. 

He smiled down at the phone, picturing your tired face. “Now i’m going to brush my teeth. Back and forth, small circles.” 

His words were muddled by the bubbles forming in his mouth. The sound of the sink running drowned out whatever incoherent speech he was trying to get out inbetween brush strokes. 

“I guess, now I'm going to get undressed for bed…” Shutting off the sink he left for his bedroom.

“What do you usually wear to bed?” You yawned, forcing your eyes open. You wanted to stay awake, just for a bit longer. 

“Well, usually a t-shirt and my...boxers.” 

You chuckled at the falter in his voice, listening to the muffled noises of him sifting through his closet. 

“Now i’m going to get dressed and get in bed.”

“So descriptive, I can almost see it.”

His face heated up at your teasing, “Well what fun things are you doing right now huh?” 

You smirked, it was sweet hearing him so flustered over the mention of underwear. “Currently I'm laying in my bed, lights off, talking to you.” 

“Already in bed? Should I let you go?” He was now pulling the covers over himself and settling into his own bed. He laid the phone on the pillow beside him before turning off his own lights. 

“Mmm, no. I want to talk to you.”

He could tell from your lethargic tone that you were close to sleep. He looked at the time on his phone, 2:56 a.m. “Well what do you want to talk about?”

“Anything, I just want to hear your voice for a little while longer.” 

He had been with a handful of girls in his life, some of them he would even call loves of his life at the time. But no girl could get the reaction out of him you had already managed to get. 

Just the notion that you would want to fall asleep to him, to have his voice be the last thing you hear for the night. Well that alone made his heart race. But the fact that you were most likely half asleep already, saying the first things that came to your foggy mind. He couldn’t handle it, you had such a tight grip on his heart and you didn’t even know it. 

“Well,I guess I could tell you about that day.” He paused for a moment, recalling the story. 

“I was having a particularly bad day when I met you at the coffee shop. I had originally gone to school to become an elementary school teacher. But when I graduated the job I had been offered had changed. The previous teacher they had hired for the position i’m in now had quit last minute and they needed someone to fill his spot. When they told me I could either teach at Aoba Johsai or find another job I was, well incredibly pissed off.” He rubbed the back of his neck, just thinking about it made him mad.

“So I asked them for some time to think about it and they gave me till the end of the day. How ridiculous is that, not even 24 hours to think about a long term decision. So I did the only thing I could think of, I got a coffee. I was ready to find a new job when you walked in for your shift that day.” Sugawara could feel his face heating up, he had never really told anyone about this.

“You were trying to tie up your hair as you leaned against the door to open it. You didn’t even notice that your apron bow had gotten caught on the door handle until the door closed and pulled you over. Most people would have been embarrassed, and I'm sure you were. But no one could have known with how you were laughing. I watched a customer help you up. You were so red while your coworkers were trying to untangle your apron strings from the door. You were laughing the entire time, joking with the customers waiting to come inside. You bought everyone that was waiting a pastry as a thank you for being patient. Not even an apology, a thank you. I decided that day that if you could make the best out of that situation, I could do the same with mine. That was the day I think I fell for you.” He chuckled to himself.

“The next time I saw you I was having a pretty good day. When I came in you were writing in a notebook behind the counter. You took my order as anyone would usually do. I paid and went to the other side to wait. You came out of the kitchen a few minutes later with two chocolate muffins and my coffee. I remember telling you I didn’t order any muffins and you just laughed and told me, “It’s ok, I just really liked how happy you looked when you came in. So ones for you, and the others just in case you see someone else whose smile makes your day.” I think that was the day I fell in love with you. If you hadn’t left so fast I probably would have given it to you.” Koushi smiled as he recalled how bright your smile was that day. 

He could hear your soft snores on the other line of the phone.

“F/N?” He waited a moment, listening to your shallow breathing. “Goodnight F/N” He chuckled, ending the call. He turned over in his sheets, letting sleep take him too.

\----

You were exhausted as you walked through the front gates of the school. You weren’t sure when you fell asleep last night, maybe sometime past 3 a.m. The only thing you could remember was Koushi’s voice as it lulled you to sleep. 

You had come to school an hour early in an attempt to see him before class started for the day. It seemed like a good idea when you set your alarm last night, but seeing your sunken eyes in the reflection of the glass doors made you rethink that. 

You trudged through the empty hallways to your classroom, the only noise coming from the soft echoes of club meetings in distant rooms. Your classroom was empty and dark when you opened the door, “I wonder if he’s even here yet.” 

You turned the knob to this office door, pushing it open just enough to peek inside. Koushi was fast asleep on his couch, a cup of coffee sat forgotten on the window sill. 

“How cute, I should let him sleep.” You quietly closed the door again. 

You made your way to your own desk, laying your bag on the top and resting your head on it. “I’ll just close my eyes for a bit before class starts.” 

You were woken up by a soft hand on your shoulder. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in the blurry figure in front of you. 

“Hey, wake up F/N-chan.” 

You blinked a few times as the body came into focus. “Hiroto-kun, what time is it?” You rubbed your eyes as you looked around.

“8:00 a.m, I just came in to you passed out at your desk. Why are you here so early?” His worried look was now visible, scanning over you as you stood up. 

You couldn’t tell if it was because of your groggy state, or the fight you had with Yua, but seeing him in front of you was the one of the best things you could have woken up to. 

You reached forward, pulling him into a hug. “Hiroto-kun i’m so sorry.” Your grip on him was tight as you held him.

“I think someones still drowsy, let's go get you a coffee and wake you up. '' He laughed as he pulled away from you. 

You walked down the hallway together towards the south gym vending machines. The school grounds still relatively empty.

“Did Yua talk to you about yesterday?” You questioned, chewing on the inside of your cheek. 

“She told me about your fight if that's what you were wondering about.” He smiled down at you, he had always done that. Hiroto never lost his composure, no matter what he was feeling. He could smile through anything. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were so worried about me.” You watched him put a few yen into the machine before pressing the coffee button. 

“Then tell me what's going on. That's all we want, just an explanation.” There was that smile again as he handed you the coffee. 

“I..i’ve been talking to someone…”

He gave you a confused look, “And?” 

“He’s older...23 to be exact.”

“That's what you were scared to tell us? That you’ve been talking to an older guy?” His laugh made the tension in your shoulders melt away. “So you're not in any danger, or doing anything illegal?” 

You shook your head.

“Then why would we be mad about you talking to an older guy F/N-chan?” 

He was right, it was silly that you would hide something like that. But hiding the fact that the older guy was Koushi, your teacher. That didn’t seem so silly. 

“As long as you're being safe we could care less what weird stuff you're doing in your free time.” You gave him a soft smile as he patted your head. “Now just tell Yua that same thing and everything will be fine ok?” 

He made it sound so easy, like she was going to be as open as he was to the conversation. But you knew you still needed to try. You nodded in agreement, opening your coffee.

“Good, now I have a soccer meeting. So i’ll see you in class ok.” He waved you off as you made your way back to the classroom. 

You could see the students filing into the school as you rounded the corner to your classroom, the school courtyard filling up.

“I should probably wake him up before class starts.”

You knocked lightly on his office door before opening it. “Sugawara-senpai…” You looked inside to find the room empty. “Huh, when did he wake up?”

“Good morning F/N-chan” You jumped at the sudden noise, turning around to Sugawara holding a fresh cup of coffee. He smirked at your shaken state, like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Senpai, when did you wake up?” You tried to cover your now hot face as he reached a hand out to caress your cheek.

“A bit ago, I came out here to you fast asleep. Did you come in early to see me?” He chuckled lightly as you nodded. 

“I wanted to see you before everyone else came in...” Butterflies forming in your stomach as you met his loving gaze. 

“Here…” He lifted the steaming cup to your lips, tilting it till the warm ceramic touched them. You cupped a hand over his own, steadying it as you took a drink. “You must be tired…” 

You flashed him a small smile as you pulled away from the cup. “It’s ok, I'm happy I got to talk to you last night.” 

He grabbed your chin with his free hand, tilting it up as he leaned in to kiss you. 

You wrapped your hands around his wrist, happy to reciprocate the gesture.

He pulled away, causing you to pout. He ran his thumb over your protruding lip, shaking his head. “Such a sad face” He pinched your cheek, taking a step away from you as the first students sounded down the hallway. 

“Go find Yua-san and talk to her before class starts F/N.” He gave you a wink before walking into his office.

“Easier said than done Koushi.”

You decided to wait outside the school doors for her. “She’s going to have to walk in this way and when she does I can corner her again and talk to her.” Soon enough there she was walking through the front gates. 

You waved at her as she got closer to the door. “Yua, can I talk to you before class?” 

She picked up her pace towards the lockers when she saw you, forcing you to run behind her.

“Yua, please. I want to talk to you about yesterday. I’m sorry…”

She slammed her locker and turned towards you. “Cool F/N-chan. So now you're ready to talk? I’m busy, maybe later.” She stomped off down the hallway leaving you standing alone.

You had made your way into class as the final bell rang, taking your seat when Sugawara came out of his office. Hiroto gave you a sad smile as you got out your class work for the day.

“It doesn’t look like the talking went well…” Sugawara looked between you and Yua before starting class. 

The lunch bell rang signaling the end of the class period. You tried to gather your things before Yua left but you were too late. She trudged her way out of the door and down the hallway before you could even grab your bag. 

“I’ll talk to her F/N-chan, she's just being hard headed. We will figure this out.” Hiroto ruffled your hair as he grabbed his bag. 

You watched him leave with the rest of the students, clutching your bag as the room emptied. Was there really a point in going to lunch if you couldn’t even sit with your friends?. 

You waited for the last of the students to leave before slipping into Sugawara’s office. “I’ll just wait for him I suppose…”

Before long the door opened and a tired Koushi walked inside, throwing his papers on his desk with a sigh.

“Hey” He smiled up at you sitting on the window sill. “No luck with Yua?” He sat down on the couch, resting his head against your legs. 

“No luck. Maybe I can talk to her during practice…” You ran your fingers through his hair, watching him relax into your touch. 

“I’m sure she will forgive you, don’t worry about it. Things will work out.” You got down from the window sill, watching Sugawara reach over to lock the door. “Come lay with me.” He laid back down on the couch, leaving a small space beside him for you. 

You sat down next to him, cheeks heating up. “Koushi, I don’t think there's enough room…”

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you down on top of him. “Then lay on me.”

You shifted to a comfortable position, before resting your head on his chest. 

“Relax, everything's going to be ok.” His eyes fluttered shut as he rubbed lazy circles up your back. 

You leaned up, nuzzling your head into his neck, body melting into his. You closed your eyes, savoring the warmth coming from the sun rays peeking through the window. The noise of the outside world faded away as you focused on his low breathing.

He woke up with a weight on his chest, eyes opening to see your soft H/C hair splayed out across his chest. He reached up, moving a few strands to see your face. Your legs were tangled together, arms firmly wrapped around his waist. You looked peaceful, worryfree. 

He still couldn’t believe how lucky he was. The fact that you were wrapped up in him right now was more than he could have ever hoped for. 

He looked up at the clock, “Ten minutes before the bell rings. I should probably wake her up.” 

He looked back down at you, it felt almost criminal. You looked so tired coming into class early this morning to see him, coat inside out as you hobbled into the classroom. But it had to be done, he would try his best to be gentle. 

He pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, his hand coming up to smooth out your hair. “My love…” He whispered, running a light hand down your arm. 

You started to stir, nuzzling deeper into his chest. 

He chuckled, causing you to groan. “Honey, class is going to start soon. We have to wake up.” 

You lifted your head up, brows furrowed as you opened your eyes. Once you met his tender stare the grogginess faded away. “Koushi, what time is it?” You rubbed your eyes as you sat up.

“Five minutes before class starts.”

You nodded, standing up and looking around the room.

He followed, smiling as you tried to regain your grip on reality. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. Pulling away to look at the soft pout pulling at your lip.

You shook your head, causing him to laugh. 

He leaned in again, pressing another kiss to the tip of your nose. 

You shook your head again and he playfully groaned. 

He leaned in, capturing your lips with his this time. 

You smiled into the kiss, happy to finally have what you wanted. The bell pulled you away from each other, now it was your turn to groan. 

“Best go take your seat before everyone sees you leaving my office.” He turned you around and guided you out of his office, closing the door behind the both of you. He kissed the back of your head, before walking to the desk at the front of the room. 

You turned around one more time, looking over him as he got himself set up for the class period. “How lucky am I?”

Hiroto came into class first, taking a seat next to you. 

“So, any luck?” 

He took a deep breath before giving you a sad look. “I think I made it worse, because she’s mad at me now too...”

“What, how?” You cried. If Hiroto couldn’t talk to her there really was no hope. 

“Well, I did talk to her. But she told me she didn’t want to talk to you. So I kept bothering her about it because she's being ridiculous. But I think I just made her mad because she eventually just walked away from me.” 

As if on cue in walked Yua, pushing her way through a group of students. She took her seat without giving either of you a glance. 

You and Hiroto looked at each other before sinking into your desks. “This absolutely sucks.”

Soon enough class was over and all the students started to pack up for the day. You started your cleaning with Hiroto once the last few left. Yua had been your third member for your cleaning group but she had packed up and left along with everyone else. 

You finished in no time, the cleaning had been easy for today. A large part of the packing up had been done at lunch, leaving the two of you with sweeping and trash.

Your phone buzzed on your desk as Hiroto was gathering the trash bags. You slid it open and clicked on the new message.

“Bring the supplies to the storage closet.” 

You looked at the message, rereading it. What else would you do with them?

“Did your boyfriend text you?” Hiroto laughed as he walked over to you. 

“Um, yeah. Do you want to take the trash out and I'll carry all this to the closet?” 

He looked at you weird before nodding. “Sure, I guess the trash cans are closer to the soccer field. Good luck with Yua, text me what happens!” He waved goodbye, disappearing out the classroom door. 

You waited a moment before gathering the cleaning supplies and carrying them to the storage closet. You pushed it open, walking inside to see Sugawara sitting on a stack of boxes. 

You kicked the door closed behind you, hands full. “You could have just told me to meet you in here.” 

He shrugged and smiled, standing up to help you put away the items. “Where's the fun in that?” 

You rolled your eyes at him, setting the last of the items on the storage shelf. You turned around, watching him put up the brooms. “So why are we meeting in his storage closet? Already tired of hiding in your office?”

“No, I just wanted to see you before practice and I figured this would be as good a place as any.” He turned around, leaning up against the door. 

You looked at each other for a moment, giving one another soft smiles. 

“Ok, well I got what I needed. I’ll let you go to practice.” He turned to leave, waving as he grabbed the door handle.

You laughed, walking over. “You don’t need anything else before I leave?” 

He paused, pretending to think on the matter. “I guess there is one more thing.” Leaning down he gave your lips a sweet peck. His hand squeezing your before he opened the door for the two of you to leave.

\---- 

“Ok, I can do this. I’m just going to talk to her in the locker room before practice. She can’t ignore me all practice, it's just not going to be possible.” You pushed open the locker room doors, looking over your changing team members.

“Hey is Yua still in here?” You turned your head to Yumi as you approached your locker. 

“No, she's already out in the gym I think. She got dressed really fast and dipped.” 

“So much for that idea. Figures she would avoid me here too.” Once you finished dressing for practice you walked out with Semi to the gym. 

“Stuff still weird with Yua?” She questioned, you gave her a small nod. “We're starting with a run, everyone head to the field! Don’t worry, i’m sure everything will be fine.” She directed everyone to the gym door before giving you a hard smack on the back. 

You waited for Yua at the door, walking out behind her. “Can we please talk?” You pleaded, jogging to keep up with her. 

“No.” She spat, looking ahead as she lined up with the team. 

“Ok, same route as usual. Up the hill to the park, around the gazebo and back down. Take your time with it. It’s not a race, just a warm up!” Semi shouted down the line of students, watching you squish in between a first year and Yua. 

“Come on. You can’t just keep saying no.” 

“I can, so no.”

Semi blew the whistle for the run to start and Yua took off. You sprinted behind her, trying to catch up as she ran ahead of the group.

“Hey, not a race!” Yumi yelled after you.

“It’s fine, let them go figure it out.” Semi patted her back, matching her pace.

“Please just let me explain Yua” You panted, right on her heels.

“No, you had your chance yesterday and you didn’t. I don’t care what you have to say.” Yua rounded the gazebo, starting back for the school. 

You pushed yourself, trying to catch up to her. “Maybe if I can get her to stop for just a second I can get her to just listen to me.” 

You reached out your hand, trying to grab the back of her shirt. But she was just out of reach as she pulled ahead of you. “Yua god damnit, can you just stop for a second?” You called out, lungs burning. 

She said nothing as the hill to the school came into view. 

“Fuck it…” You sped up, throwing yourself at her. Your momentum was just enough to throw the both of you off balance as you wrapped your arms around her. The both of you toppled over, rolling down the hill.

“My god, what was she trying to do?” Yumi questioned as she watched your limp bodies laying at the bottom of the hill.

“What a fucking moron!” Semi howled as you rolled over, trying to catch your breath. 

You tried to stand up, your body dizzy as you fumbled onto your feet. 

Yua grabbed onto your shirt tail, pulling you over again. 

You fell back to the ground, head spinning. 

“Well you have my attention, what do you want F/N-chan?” 

You rolled over again meeting Yua’s grumpy stare. “I’ve been talking to an older guy. I didn’t want to tell anyone because it's new and not exactly the most legal boyfriend I could have chosen. He’s 23, and we didn’t really meet in the most common of circumstances.”

She looked at you dumbstruck. “I’m going to fucking kill you!” She lunged at you, pinning you to the ground. “I thought you were in a gang! You hid a fucking boy from me?” She gave you a hard slap to the forehead. “I was ready to call your mom, I figured you had joined the school’s Yakuza!”

You tried to push her off of you, but that only resulted in her smacking you again. “Yua the school doesn’t even have Yakuza members…”

“Doesn’t matter, I was worried about you asshole!” 

“Should we go stop them Semi-chan?” Yumi winced as she watched Yua swat at you. 

“No, I think it’s pretty funny.” Semi sat down at the top of the hill, laughing as you tried to wrestle Yua off you. 

“I’ll buy you fried chicken if you get off me Yua-chan!” You struggled to speak, her body crushing your chest. 

She perked up at the mention of food, rolling off of you to get up. She offered you a hand and you gratefully took it. 

“If it was that easy maybe I should have offered you food to begin with.” You grumbled, brushing the grass off your practice uniform. 

“You should have just been honest with me from the beginning.” She frowned as she tried to straighten her appearance. 

“I’m sorry Yua-chan. I just didn’t want to mess anything up with his guy, I was going to tell you eventually.” 

She chuckled at your lousy apology, “Well I know now, so it doesn’t matter.” 

“So all's forgiven?” You bit your lip, waiting for an answer.

Yua wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling you in as she ruffled your hair. “Only if you buy me AND Hiroto fried chicken.” 

You agreed, happy to have your friend back. 

Semi stood up and clapped her hands together. “Ok team, our daily melodrama is finished. Time to practice!” 

\----

“Gym looks clean, go ahead and pack up for the night! Have a good weekend girls!” Coach Irihata smiled, waving goodbye as you followed your team to the locker rooms. 

“Hey Yua, walk home with me tonight?”

Her face lit up at the mention of finally spending some time together with you. “Only if you buy me a snack on the way…” She puffed up her cheeks making you laugh.

“I can do that.” You finished getting dressed, waving goodbye to your friends as you left with Yua. 

“So are you going to tell me about your new boyfriend or…?” She grilled you as soon as you got to the courtyard. “How did you meet him? Does he have a job? What's his name? How tall is he? What does he look like?” 

You waved your hands at her trying to get her to stop the onslaught of questions. “I can’t tell her any of that, if I do she’s surely going to figure out it's Koushi.” “Jesus Yua calm down. I met him through a friend. He’s still going to college, no job yet.” 

She waited for you to answer her other questions, staring at you as you reached the train station, “AND?!” 

“And what Yua. He has hair, eyes, and legs.” You flinched as she grabbed your coat.

“That's all you're going to give me? You haven’t had a boyfriend the entire time i've known you and now that you have one you won’t even tell me what he looks like?...Wait a minute, have you actually met this guy?”She cocked her eyebrow, sitting down as the train started to move. 

“Well that's one way to fix that problem.” “No, I haven’t seen him yet.”

Her eyes went wide. “What do you mean you haven’t seen your boyfriend yet? F/N-chan, what if he’s really 80. What if he’s a creep?” She was frantically counting out the possibilities, each finger getting worse. 

You reached out, placing a hand over hers. “Yua, don’t worry. He’s not a creep, he just lives in Tokyo. It’s hard to find time to meet each other, that's all.”

“Ok, so let's go visit him this weekend! I’ll buy us the train tickets!” Yua exclaimed, her grip on your hand tightening. 

This was definitely not the outcome you wanted from the conversation. 

“Yua, I have a concert with Systematic tomorrow. I can’t just…” You were trying to reason with her. 

“Cool, so Sunday then! I’ll get the tickets and you call him tonight ok! Just text me when you get home that everything is good to go.” You both exited the train, watching as she made her way towards her next station stop.

“Yua-chan what happened to going home together?” You yelled after her.

“Bye F/N-chan! I’m so excited, we're gonna meet him together!” She waved goodbye, disappearing around the corner. 

“I really hope Koushi can think of a way out of this one…”


	13. Chapter 13

You looked down at the phone in your hand, thumb hovering over the dark screen. 

You knew you needed to call him, tell him what had happened with Yua. But what would you say? You had created yet another problem that he was going to have to solve. 

You sighed, sinking into the couch cushions. “Maybe I can just figure it out without telling him about the whole Yua thing. I could tell her you got sick, or that we broke…” 

Your phone screen illuminated, the sudden vibrations jostling you as you fumbled with the device in your hand. “H-Hi Koushi!” You nervously yelled into the phone, gripping it with both hands.

“Hi F/N? You sound kind of weird, are you ok?” He questioned. 

“Yeah, totally fine. I had to run home, it looked like it was going to rain. Didn’t want to get caught in it ya know.” Drawing your lip between your teeth, you chewed at it nervously. That had all been a lie, a blatant lie. You had been home for over an hour, nervously toying with the power button on your phone as you waited for his call. 

“Huh, ok…” Sugawara craned his head to look out his kitchen window. 

The sky was a vibrant blue, speckled with wispy clouds. The heat of the day was evident from the radiance of the sun that peaked out between them. He wouldn’t call himself a cloud expert, but those definitely weren’t rain clouds. 

“Well, i’m glad you made it home ok.” He drew out the sentence, mulling over your panicked tone. 

“Yeah, home. Safe and sound!” You hoped he would leave it at that, you prayed that he would leave it at that. 

“So, did you work things out with Yua today? I saw you leave together after practice.” Sugawara probed, he knew you were hiding something, and he was going to get it out of you. 

“Yeah, everything's all fine now! Nothing to worry about at all. We worked it out and now everything's great!” You knew you were repeating yourself, but the speed that your brain was trying to dig your way out of the conversation coming was dizzying. 

“And...details? She didn’t seem super excited to see you this morning, how did you manage to get her to listen to you?” His soft chuckles sounded through your speaker, something that would have usually relaxed you. 

“Oh um, I just kinda forced her to listen to me. Nothing that eventful.” You weren’t really sure how to explain to him the course of events that transpired during your warmup run, or what thought process you had when you decided to tackle your friend. 

But it didn’t matter, you didn’t need to. He had gotten the wonderful opportunity to watch it all from the comfort of the gym vending machines. 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t pick those particular vending machines just to see you. They were out of the way, and had a far worse selection then the ones available in the teacher's lounge. But nonetheless, there he was weighing his options for juice when he picked up the faint sound of yelling. 

He had looked up as Yua and you came in view at the top of the hill, your arms around her middle as you tipped over the side. He watched you both roll down the hill, limbs tangled with hers. You both unraveled from each other at the bottom, covered in grass and dirt as your bodies finished it's last rotation. 

He had started to worry when you didn’t get up, still laying face first in the grass. But once he saw you roll over, red faced from the run he knew you were just fine. He peaked out from behind the machines, snickering to himself as he watched you and Yua. 

He had left after he saw you both stand up, happy to see you two talking again. 

“Nothing interesting on the way home? She didn’t want to know who I was?” He added, smiling to himself, Maybe that was what you were so nervous to tell him. It was a pretty silly way to get her to listen, but he wouldn’t have expected anything less from you. 

“Well… she did ask about you.” You trailed off, looking out the window.

Sugawara waited for you to finish. “And?” He drug out the word, annoyance hidden in his tone. 

If you didn’t tell him what was going on soon you were sure he would just drive to your house and interrogate you in person. 

“And I told her that you lived in Tokyo and that we hadn’t really met in person yet…” 

Sugawara let out a small sigh, “Well that's easy to fix, we can just make up…” 

“So now she may be buying train tickets to Tokyo on Sunday so...wecanbothmeetyou.” You rushed out the sentence, volume dying as you mumbled out the end. 

“Did you say meet you, as in she’s going with you to Tokyo to meet your boyfriend.” Sugawara pursed his lips as he slowly connected the words you had spit out. 

“Yes.”

“This Sunday, as in two days from now. You and Yua are going to travel to Tokyo to meet me, your boyfriend, who is also her teacher.” His tone was calm and collected as he reiterated.

You were silent, listening to the faint nervous tapping of his fingers over your speaker. “Yes.”

“Ok, that's what I thought you just said. F/N I CAN’T LET YOU INTRODUCE ME AS YOUR BOYFRIEND TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOU DO KNOW THAT RIGHT?!” It was over for him, there was no way out of this. 

“Yes I know that, BUT SHE’S JUST SO SCARY AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!” You were both panicking now. You were banking on the fact that this man could figure out anything, and now look where you were. 

“Ok, ok. We can figure this out, it can’t be that hard. We can meet up tomorrow and think of options and…”

”About that, you know how you wanted to come to my next show. Well, it’s tomorrow…” You squeezed your eyes shut, pulling the phone away from your ear. 

“F/N WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CONCERT IS TOMORROW, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TELL ME WHEN IT WAS WEEKS AGO!?”

You had broken him. The calm and rational man you loved was gone, replaced with a frantic ticking time bomb of nerves. “I’M SORRY! I FORGOT AND EVERYTHING'S BEEN SO CRAZY WITH ME GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE, AND YOU KISSING ME,THEN IGNORING ME, THEN KISSING ME AGAIN, AND I ROLLED DOWN A HILL FACE FIRST TO TALK TO YUA ABOUT BEING WITH YOU, BUT I COULDN’T REALLY SAY IT WAS YOU, please don’t be mad at me…”

He gritted his teeth. This conversation was going nowhere, and the panicking wasn't going to change that. “I’m not mad at you, not exactly happy with all of this, but i’m not mad at you. I’ll think of something, just send me the information for the concert tomorrow and when you need to be there. I’ll pick you up and we can go together ok?” His tone was soft as he tried to calm you both down. 

“I’m sorry Koushi, please don’t break up with me.”

He snorted at your sudden remark. Hand coming up to suppress his laughs.“It’s going to take a lot more to make me break up with you, so don’t worry ok? I’m sure your brain was still a little rattled from how many times you rolled down that hill.” 

Your eyes shot open at his teasing remark. “Wait a minute, did you see me fall down the hill?!” 

His laugh finally erupted from your speaker, your face heating up as realization set in. “I love you, i’ll see you tomorrow.” 

You tried to interject but the line went dead before you could get a word out.

He set down his phone on the kitchen countertop, rolling his eyes and smiling. You were going to be the death of him. 

\----

You had just gotten out of the shower, settling into your bed for the night when your phone buzzed on your bedside table. You reached over, turning the phone just enough to see the new message.

“Hey loser! I got our tickets, so make sure your secret boyfriend knows that we will be at the Tokyo Station around noon. I got us tickets for the bullet train so you better not flake out or i’ll shake you down for that money! I’ll send you a photo of the tickets! I can’t wait to see what kind of guy you scored!” 

You turned the phone back over and laid back.

You were grateful for such a great friend. You had someone who loved you enough to spend that kind of money just to get you to meet your kind of fake boyfriend. You could only hope that she would be excited when the day came that you could introduce her to the person you were actually dating, you just hoped that day wasn’t Sunday. 

You sank into your comforter, your mind racing as you thought of the fast approaching day. 

\----

You peeled one eye open, the blurry dark corners of your room coming into view. The only light you saw came from the edges of the phone on your bedside table, the ringing continuing as you reached to pick it up. Turning it upright you read over the caller id, groaning as you accepted the call and lifted the device to your ear. 

“I know that you're kind of famous now, but us normal people have regular sleep schedules.” You rolled back over in bed, closing your eyes again. You could hear the commotion of a party in the background, the heavy bass resonating through the speaker.

“Tooru, did you butt dial me?” You waited a moment for a response, listening to the background chatter of the club. 

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late.” Oikawa apologized, looking down at the drink in his hand. He pulled the phone away from his ear to look at the time, 3:27 a.m. 

“It’s ok, are you doing alright? You never call this late.” 

He smiled at the concern in your voice, happy to be on your mind, even if it was just for a moment. “No, i’m a bit drunk.” He giggled, setting down his drink on the toilet paper holder as he leaned against the bathroom stall door. 

“Senpai, do you want me to call Hajime to come get you?” You sat up, resting your back against the headboard of your bed. 

“No, i’m fine. I’ve been hiding in the bathroom for a while. These girls are relentless, and my head is throbbing.” His words were slurred, syllables connecting as he mumbled. 

“You should go home Tooru, get some sleep.” You watched out your window, eyes fixed on the moths dancing under the distant street light.

“Yeah, I should. Goodnight F/N, I love you…”

“Goodnight Senpai, please get home safe ok?” 

He ended the call, staring down at your contact photo. A knock sounded on the bathroom stall door as the screen went black.

“Oikawa-san are you going to come back out?”

He wiped away the threatening tears, opening the stall door and giving his friend a forced smile. “Sorry, I had to make a phone call.”

\----

You were sitting on your porch steps waiting for Sugawara to pick you up. The evening sun peaked out from the top of the houses, oranges and pink brushing the edges surrounding the remaining rays as it disappeared for the night. 

You didn’t get much sleep after your phone call with Oikawa, far too worried to relax.

You had called Iwaizumi after you got off the phone, troubled by such a late call. You begged him to go pick up his friend, listing off all the things that could go wrong. You both knew that he was the safest bet for getting Oikawa home safely that night. 

Despite his annoyance, that was all it took for you to convince him to drive down to the busy club nestled in downtown Tokyo. It took him a while to find him, all by himself fast asleep in a private booth.

Your phone call with him had ended around 6:00 a.m, finally at ease once your cousin had gotten the drunk man in his own bed. You had fallen back asleep around 7:00, happy to know everyone was safe at home.

But that didn’t last long, the obsessive ringing of your phone made sure of that. 

At 10:00 Ryu started berating your phone with calls, determined to get you up for a surprise rehearsal before the concert.

Now here you were, sleep deprived and halfway to a caffeine coma as your boyfriend pulled into your driveway. 

He stepped out of the car, flashing you a bright smile as he closed the door. 

You stood up, guitar case in tow as you walked over to him. 

“Hi honey.” You pushed your face into his chest, lazily wrapping your arms around his waist. 

He reached a hand up, giving your head a soft pat. “Hi princess, someone looks tired. Did you stay up late studying?” 

You rolled your eyes, giving him a light push. “Mhm, I studied all night.” 

He took the instrument case from your hands, putting it into the trunk of his car. “What else would my A+ student be doing all night?” He laughed and opened the door for you to get into the car. 

“Oh you know, illegal stuff.” 

He chuckled, closing the door.

“Your outfit is nice…” Sugawara peaked over at you as the car slowed to a stop.

You looked down at your faded grey sweatpants, eyes fixed on the discolored paint spots that speckled the legs. “Oh, our manager dresses us when we get to the venue.” You laughed as he cocked his head. 

“You still look nice.” 

Your face heated up at his compliment, eyes avoiding his gaze as you toyed with your shirt sleeve. “You look nice too…”

He was so handsome at school, always so well dressed. It was easy to forget how young he really was when he was teaching. He could easily pass for someone much older than 23 with the way he held himself. But today was different, his usual professional demeanor was replaced with the relaxed look of a young adult. 

He had on a plain black and white baseball tee, sleeves pushed up slightly as the extra fabric pooled around his elbows. Your eyes moved to his legs, shifting as he moved to press the brakes. His knees peaking through the rips in his black jeans. 

“Really? I was running errands before I came and got you so I just put something comfortable on…” He reached over, taking your hand in his and giving it a soft squeeze. “Is this your first big concert?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, the biggest audience we’ve had so far was about 350 people. But Macana is the first real venue we get to play at. They said it was sold out…”

You were definitely nervous, anyone could see that. It had taken a lot of work to get you this show, but you were finally getting the opportunity. After they had canceled your spot at Kyoritsu Kodo you were sure this concert wasn’t going to happen. Luckily your manager knew the owners of Macana in Sendai and got you moved over with little issue. 

“Thank you for coming, I've never had someone come to a show that I actually knew…”

Sugawara gave you a surprised look, sure he knew it was a secret that you were in this band. But had no one really come to see you play? 

He flashed you a smile, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. “Well I plan on coming to every one of your shows, if you remember to actually tell me when you're having them.” 

You looked over at him, pink dusting your cheeks. 

He laughed, he would never get tired of seeing you like that. He unlace his fingers from yours, reaching up to squeeze your cheek. “I’m proud of you, all your hard work is paying off.” His gaze shifted from you to the road, hand returning to the steering wheel as he pulled into the venue parking lot. 

Only time would tell if all your work with Systematic would pay off, but seeing that smile everyday while you figured it out didn’t seem half bad. 

Koushi held out his arm as you wrapped the yellow band around his wrist. 

“Don’t lose this bracelet. If you do they won’t let you backstage,, and you have to remember to call me Kiko. They don’t know my real name. If you get lost backstage you can find my manager, she goes by Hanami-san. She’s really tall, long black hair, kind of mean. She has two passes for your friends, you can give them theirs when you see them.”

Sugawara followed behind you as you moved through the crowd of people setting up the stage. His hand reaching for yours as you listed off the rules of the night.

He looked up at the stage lights, watching as they tested the different colors. The patterns danced on the back banner as it unfolded from the ceiling. A stage hand tested the microphone in front of it, waving hand signals to someone far off as he balanced out the volume. 

You tugged on his hand, pulling his attention back to you. 

“It’s a lot to take in.” He gave you a sweet smile, picking up his pace to match yours.

You held the black curtain open as he walked backstage. “I’ll introduce you to everyone before I have to go get ready. But I'll meet back up with you for warmups after.”

He nodded, taking your hand again as you walked him down the hallway. 

You pushed open the door to the waiting room, the sound of chatter growing louder as you both stepped inside. “Hey brats, I see all of you actually came on time.” 

The four boys turned, smiling once they saw you. 

“Kiko! Did you see the stage? It’s huge!” A tall man stood up, awkwardly trying to step over top of the couch as he made his way to you.

Long blonde hair feathered out around his shoulders, tousled and soft as it led up to his dark roots. He reached up to brush his lengthy bangs from his light brown eyes, his gaze focusing on Sugawara as he stopped in front of you. 

“Hi, i’m Ryouku, but you can call me Ryu. You must be Koushi.” Ryu took Koushi’s outstretched hand in his own, giving it an energetic shake as a smile spread across his face. 

“I’m Jomei, nice to meet you.”

Sugawara looked around the bright blonde to a smaller man. He was sitting on the floor, a messy notebook in his hand.

He looked up, emerald eyes peeking through his black waves.

Sugawara gave him a wave, smiling as the man returned it.

Another man made his way around the couch, offering his hand to Koushi. “I’m Sana, it’s nice to finally meet you!” 

He was by far the tallest of the group, towering over the three of you as he shook Koushi’s hand. His curly red hair was pushed back with a hair band, drawing focus to his eyes.

They reminded Koushi of a lemon bar, the milky yellow fading to a golden brown that ringed the outer rim. 

You tugged on Koushi’s sleeve, pointing to the last member of your group. 

He was set up in the corner of the room with his keyboard. Headphones pushing down the spikes of his light brown hair. 

“That's Toma.” You waved your hand at the man, pulling his attention away from his work. 

He looked between you both, his tired auburn eyes almost staring through you. He gave you a brief nod before turning his gaze back on his composition. 

An older woman popped her head into the room, her long black hair pulled into a tight bun. She trained her grey eyes on you, pushing up her glasses as she motioned for you to follow her. 

“I have to get ready, do you want to come with me?” 

Koushi looked between you and the new group of men he had just met. He was definitely uncomfortable with the amount of new faces in the room, you knew that as much as he did. 

“No, I'll stay here.” He shook his head. 

You returned his sweet smile, giving his hand a light squeeze before following your manager. 

He had made you bring him so he could meet your band members, and this was his chance.

\----

You had taken longer to get ready then you expected, but after three outfit changes, two hair styling sessions, and a lot of makeup touch up, you were finally finished.

You looked in the mirror, smoothing out your black t-shirt dress.

Your manager had originally gotten you a long opaque lace dress, the red bodysuit underneath would have peaked through under the right amount of stage light. But the garment bag had never made it to the venue, lost somewhere among the rest of your stage equipment you left behind. 

She had made some quick changes, making due with the wardrobe she had for you and the boys. She had given you Sana’s black t-shirt, the length falling mid thigh on your smaller frame. A pair of bright red fishnets hugged your legs, found at the bottom of Ryu’s backpack from a concert long ago. She stole Jomei’s denim jacket from his locker, it had been just small enough to fit you. The outfit was tied together with Toma’s small collection of pocket chains, modified to fit as a necklace for the occasion. Lucky for you, your trusty black platform boots were in your bag, happy to not need to wear your band members shoes. 

It was a franken outfit, made up of your band members left over clothing items. But somehow it felt fitting for the occasion, the perfect mixture of the group, and you got to wear it. 

You made your way back to the lounge. “I hope Koushi is doing ok, I've been gone for awhile…”

You peaked your head inside, looking around the room for your boyfriend. “Hey sorry that took so long, you're not going to believe what we had to do to get me dressed…” Your heart squeezed at the sight before you. 

Your members sat around the room, eyes fixed on Sugawara and Sana. Sugawara was fumbling through fingerings on your bass guitar, Sana adjusting his digits as he taught him the notes to one of your new songs. 

“Yeah, now slide this one down. Don’t lift this one though. That looks good, now go ahead and play.”

He slowly strummed out the notes, pausing after each one to adjust his positioning. 

You shut the door behind you, quietly watching as the boys encouraged him. 

Sugawara caught sight of you standing behind the couch, a large smile spreading across his face. “Sana-san was teaching me how to play one of your favorite songs, but I think i’m butchering it.” 

The rest of the boys laughed, giving him praise for the progress he had made while you were gone. 

“I think you sounded great.” You made your way around the couch, standing next to Ryu.

Sugawara lifted the neck strap over his head, handing the bass back to Sana. “You look pretty.” He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, looking over your outfit of the night. 

“Hey is that my jacket?” Jomei questioned, turning you around to get a better look. 

“And are those my fishnets?” Ryu added, glaring up at you. 

Sugawara gave you a questionable look as you laughed at your band members probing. 

\----

It was close to 8:30 p.m when the venue started to fill up, concert goers filing inside as the stage hands finished setting up.

“I’m going to go find Daichi and Asahi, they just texted me that they were walking inside.” Sugawara turned you away from your warm ups as he motioned for the exit. 

You walked with him to the black curtain separating the blocked off backstage. “Will you be up front when I come out?” The audience was loud on the other side of the curtain forcing you to yell. 

Sugawara nodded, moving out of the way of a group coming off the stage. 

“I’ll see you soon!” You gave his hand a firm squeeze, turning to return to your warm ups.

Sugawara grabbed your wrist, turning you back towards him. “Hey, you haven’t even kissed me today.” 

You gave him a confused look, the noise around you too loud to hear him. 

“I said, you haven’t even kissed me today!” 

You tilted your head, lifting a hand to your ear. 

“I said, oh forget it.” He reached out, grabbing your face as he pulled you into him. His lips crashed against yours, softening once he had you pushed up against him. 

You were caught off guard, grabbing his arms as you steadied yourself.

He pulled away, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. 

You shook your head, leaning up to capture his lips again. 

“Gross guys, can you go somewhere else with that shit?” Ryu teased as he walked past. 

You tried to pull away from Koushi, reaching to grab the back of Ryu’s shirt. But Koushi wrapped an arm around your neck instead, deepening the kiss as he pulled you in closer to him. 

The group of men chuckled, watching as you squirmed in his tight embrace. 

You gave in after a moment, smiling into the kiss as he loosened his grip on you. 

He pulled away again, the same smirk returning to his lips. “I love you.” 

The apples of your cheeks heated up, flustered as his eyes looked over your features. “I love you too.” You stuttered out, your eyes fixing on his own. 

“Hey time to get ready.” Your manager touched your shoulder, pulling you away from him. 

“I’ll see you soon.” He placed a kiss to your forehead before waving goodbye to the rest of the band members and disappearing out of the heavy curtains. 

Sugawara made his way through the audience, eyes scanning over the sea of heads as he made his way towards the doors. 

“Hey, Koushi!” 

Sugawara whipped his head around. 

“Turn around, a little more…” 

His brows knitted together as he continued his search. Rotating his head, he looked over the people pushing past towards the stage. 

Someone screamed his name again, turning the heads of those around them as he focused in on their waving hands. 

Asahi apologised to the people around him as Sugawara made his way over to his frantic friend. “Sawamura-san, you don’t need to yell so loud.” Sugawara smiled as he wrapped his arms around the men, squeezing them in his tight grip. 

“You’ve gotten blind and deaf in your old age Koushi, how else should I get your attention?” Daichi chuckled, his teasing words earning a small pout from his friend. 

“Sorry we came so late, the line outside was crazy. I don’t think they expected so many people to show up.” 

Sugawara looked around the room, Asahi was right, the place was packed. He had expected it to be full tonight, but he was starting to feel like a sardine as he rubbed shoulders with the people around him. 

“So I take it you and this girl worked things out since we’re here?” Daichi questioned, gathering the other two as he pushed them towards the stage. 

“Yeah, I guess we're dating now…” Sugawara smiled to himself, you were dating. Finally being able to openly say it to someone felt good. This was honestly the perfect opportunity, no one here knew who you were or how you knew him. Tonight you two could just be a couple, nothing to hide. 

“How did you even meet this girl anyways?” Asahi leaned in towards his friends, his voice loud as he shouted over the crowd. 

Daichi shot Asahi a quizzical look. “What do you mean? She’s the girl from the coffee shop Koushi was obsessed with.” 

Sugawara's heart skipped a beat, of course they would recognize you from the coffee shop. He drug them there almost every day in an attempt to see you. 

“Oh yeah! That is her. When did you two see eachother again? I thought you said she didn’t come back to the shop once school started again?” 

A panicked laugh escaped Sugawara’s lips as he looked between the men. He hadn’t made a fake “How you first met” story yet. “Uh well…” 

The lights cut and the audience quieted. The stage lights went up as the band walked out, waving to the crowd as the members made their way to their instruments. Never in his life had Sugawara been so grateful to be interrupted.

“Wow, look at everyone! They weren’t kidding when they said we sold out twice! But you asked for extra tickets, and we like to deliver!” You laughed into the microphone, looking over the packed audience as your members got ready for the first song. 

“Well since it’s our first big venue, and some of you may be new. How about we introduce everyone?”

The crowd cheered in response as you walked the microphone over to Jomei. You lifted it up to his mouth as he adjusted his guitar strap.

“Hi, i’m Jomei! I play guitar and do backup vocals for the band.” He blushed as the audience members greeted him back. 

You gave him a soft smile before walking behind him to your drummer. You stepped up onto the platform, stretching your arm across the drum set to hand Ryu the microphone. 

“I’m Ryu, the visuals of this group!” 

Sana walked up behind him, plucking the microphone out of his hand as he made his way to the front of the stage. 

Ryu gave him a playful pout, earning an eye roll from Toma. 

“Hello! My name’s Sana and I play bass as you can see.” Sana wiggled his bass at the audience, a bright smile plastered on his face as he looked over the mass of people. “I’m glad you could all make it for such a big concert! I hope it's one of many venue shows that we can share together!” Sana handed you back the microphone, laughing as he looked over at the Toma. 

Toma frowned as you walked up beside him, tilting the microphone toward his lips. You mouthed a go-ahead to the quiet boy, waiting for him to say something. 

“Toma, keyboard and backup vocals.'' He mumbled out his introduction, eyes never leaving your own as he did. 

You couldn’t help but giggle at his soft scowl, a bright smile spreading across your face as his heated up. 

“And I'm Kiko, vocals and the occasional bass player. Thanks for coming to our little show tonight.” You made your way back to center stage, placing the microphone back on it's stand and looking back to Ryu. 

He gave you a nod, starting the count off for the first song to start. 

Sugawara was blissfully watching you bounce around the stage, shooting you smiles every time you looked his way. 

You were on your forth song of the set, a rendition of “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer. He recognized it as soon as it started, the familiar guitar stirring memories from the beginning of the school year.

You had forced him to listen to the original during one of your previous study sessions, claiming that it was the perfect love song. He could hardly hold back his laughter when he saw how sad you looked when he said it wasn’t for him.

He did indeed like the song, it was catchy and sweet. But he had another song in mind while he sat next to you. 

It had played on the radio the day he saw you sitting in his classroom for the first time, pushing your smile to the forefront of his mind as he listened to it. He had listened to it daily since then, putting it on whenever he needed just a little bit of you in his life. 

Maybe one day he could get you to sing it for him, you probably would if he asked. But for now he just loved seeing you up on the stage, bright eyed as you looked out into the small sea of people. 

Sugawara was pushed forward, bumping into Asahi as he tried to catch himself. He turned around, glaring at the small man that shoved into him. “Hey, I know it’s packed in here. But can you watch what you're doing?” 

The dark haired man turned around to face Sugawara. “I’m so sorry, I tripped over someone’s foot and hit you. Are you ok...Sugawara-san?” 

Sugawara squinted, trying to make out the man’s face between the flashing lights of the stage. 

“Wait, Yamaguchi?” Daichi smiled, leaning in to hug Tadashi. 

“Yamaguchi, what are you doing here?” Asahi chirped. 

“Tadashi, hurry up. You don’t need to stop every ten seconds.” 

The four boys looked up at the tall blonde pushing his way towards them. 

“Tsukki, look who I found!” Yamaguchi pointed towards Sugawara, smiling as he looked over his old friends. 

“Tsukishima too! What are the odds?” Daichi chuckled, it had been awhile since he had last seen your underclassmen. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Sugawara yelled over the music at the two men. 

“Me and Tsukki are big fans of Systematic! The drummer is in my literature classes and got us tickets to come see them as a thank you for homework help. What are you guys doing here?” Yamaguchi answered back as he tried his best to speak over the song. 

“The lead singer is Sugawara’s girlfriend!” Asahi smiled, giving Sugawara a pat on the back. 

“Let’s go over by the door, it’s hard to hear you guys!” Daichi motioned for the exit as he looked between everyone. 

“No, I'm gonna stay and watch the show, but you guys can go.” Sugawara gave the men a soft smile before turning back to the stage. 

“I’ll stay too, just text me if you need me to come find you Tadashi.” Tsukishima motioned for them to go as he turned to watch the concert. 

Sugawara stood next to Tsukishima in silence, the both of them watching you. 

“So you're dating Kiko.” Tsukishima broke the silence after a while, eyes still on the stage as he spoke to Sugawara. 

“Yeah, but we haven’t been together for too long.” Sugawara grinned as you talked into the microphone, thanking everyone for taking the time to come out. 

You made your way over to the black curtains, meeting your stagehand as everyone began tuning for the next song. She lifted the strap over your head, positioning it to rest comfortably on your shoulder. You thanked her as you fished a pick out of your jacket pocket. Making your way back to the microphone, you pulled on the stand as you adjusted it. 

“Ok, just a few songs left before they kick us off the stage. So I suppose now is the perfect time for some new songs.” You grinned as the audience cheered. “I wrote this one a few weeks back for someone who at the time was very confusing. I was gonna scrap it, but Ryu liked it too much. So here is “Sweet Tooth”. Thanks for forcing me to write you a drum part to this song.” You rolled your eyes at the drummer, his smile bright as he yelled something inaudible at you.

You started off the song, playing the same base notes he had learned earlier in the day. He smiled to himself, his fingers recalling the positions as he subconsciously played along with you. 

\----

The last song wrapped up, the final cords ringing out as the audience cheered. 

“Thank you again for coming out tonight. I hope I get to see all your beautiful faces at our next show. But until then, we have a new album coming out soon. So if you have more money to waste on us keep an eye out for it! Have a great night everyone, get home safe!” You waved a goodbye, following your band members backstage as the house lights turned on. 

Tsukishima looked past Sugawara, his eyebrows furrowing as he spoke. “You missed all the new songs Tadashi.” 

Sugawara turned around, smiling as his friends made their way through the dissipating crowd.

“Really? Man, I bet they were good. She’s been writing so much good stuff lately, and it’s thanks to you Sugawara-san.” Yamaguchi frowned, looking up at the empty stage.

“Hey, are you guys coming back stage or what?” The group of men turned their heads towards the backstage curtains, Ryu’s head stuck out as he motioned for the group to hurry. 

“Come on, I’m sure Kiko would love to meet you guys too.” Sugawara smiled as he motioned for everyone to follow him. 

\----

You were waiting in the lounge for your boyfriend, happily talking with the rest of your band members as he walked into the room. 

“I brought some friends, I hope you don’t mind.” Koushi touched your shoulder, pulling you away from your conversation with Jomei. 

“Of course not.” You smiled, standing up to meet the newest additions to Sugawara’s group of friends. 

“This is Yamaguchi.” Sugawara pointed to the dark haired boy, laughing as he frantically shook your hand in his. “And this is Tsukishima.” You extended your other hand to the tall blonde, smiling up at him as he took it. 

“It’s great to meet you guys. How do you know Koushi?” 

“We were all on the volleyball team with him in high school.” Daichi added, giving you a grin as he chuckled at Yamaguchi still shaking your hand. 

“Wow, that's amazing. You guys must be really close.” 

Sugawara watched you as you talked with his friends. He loved how easy it was for you to conversate with others. You could have a meaningful conversation with just about anyone without even batting an eye. Now here you were, laughing with his friends like you had known them your whole life. 

Sana nudged Sugawara, pulling his attention to Ryu in front of him. 

“I’m sorry, I think I zoned out.” Sugawara blushed as he let out a sheepish laugh. 

“It’s cool, I was just seeing if you were busy tomorrow. We were gonna plan a beach day and Kiko said she was spending the day with her friend so I figured you were free.” 

Sugawara’s heart dropped at the mention of tomorrow. He had forgotten all about it. Sugawara took out his phone and clicked the power button. His lockscreen read 10:05 p.m. “Ah, i’m sorry. I have some work stuff to take care of tomorrow.”

“No worries, but you should definitely come next time!” Sana smiled before walking off to join the rest of his band members with Ryu. 

You looked over at Koushi, his eyes glued on his hands as he chewed at his lip. 

“Hey, are you ok?” You quietly questioned as you rested a hand on his arm. 

He nodded, giving you a soft smile. “Yeah, I'm good.” 

You weren't buying it. 

You tugged on his arm, pulling him away from the busy room. You held open the exit door, propping it open with a box as you made your way outside with him. “Koushi what's wrong?” You questioned again, tilting your head to meet his worried eyes. 

“I don’t know what we're going to do tomorrow F/N. I was hoping I would have something figured out by now, but it's almost midnight and I have no clue what to do.” 

You wrapped your arms around your boyfriend's torso, resting your head against his chest as he relaxed into your touch. 

“ I know she won’t be satisfied until she meets someone. She cares about you too much to let something like this go. I’m going to have to come, she’s just going to have to know it’s me.” 

You listened to Sugawara as he voiced his worries. 

“What if this goes bad F/N. What if this ends us. I just got you, i’m not ready to give this up yet.”

You wished you knew what to do, but you were in the same boat as him. You had been thinking about it all day. The possibility of having to end everything just because your friend may or may not take your relationship so well. 

“If only we had someone to meet her. Like a fake boyfriend for the day. But I can’t think of anyone that we could get that she doesn’t already know.”

Sugawara mulled over your words, leaning into you as he thought about it. It could work if he was able to find someone to be your pretend boyfriend for the day. But they would have to be around his age, going to school, and live in Tokyo. If he could find someone that he trusted enough, that could possibly work. 

Sugawara kissed the top of your head, looking out at the empty street, “We can figure this out.” Sugawara mumbled into your hair, his mind racing as he tried to think up a plan. 

\----

The day was slowly wrapping up as the clock inched towards midnight. Everyone looked around the room with tired eyes, the conversations dulling as minds wandered to the beds waiting for them at home. 

The last of the beers had been drunk, the pizza boxes empty on the coffee table, and the stage equipment already packed and on it's way home. 

“Let’s head home Yamaguchi, it’s late and I have to do something in the morning.” Tsukishima beckoned for the man as he made his way towards the door. 

“Yeah, I think it’s about time to call it a night.” Sana nudged Ryu, waking him up from his alcohol induced slumber. 

“I’ll call a car to come pick us up, are you riding with us Kiko?” Jomei questioned as he helped Toma pick up the leftover cans. 

“No that's ok, I think I should take someone home.” You looked over at your boyfriend, shaking your head as he stumbled back into the room. 

He gave you a sweet smile, his face flushed from the alcohol. 

It had taken you a bit to convince him that it was in fact ok for him to drink with his friends, it was afterall a party to celebrate the concert. 

“I shouldn’t drink, not right now. I need to get you home after this, and I still need to figure out something for tomorrow. I can’t.” Sugawara rattled off reasons, his mood dropping by the second as he thought about more. 

“I can drive us home, I have a license you know. You look like you could use some fun with your friends. Don’t worry about tomorrow, i’m working on something, go have fun! I can’t stand you staring at them so sad while they are playing Pin Pon Pan.” You gave him a soft push toward the group of men laughing as they played. 

Sugawara wasn’t a huge fan of drinking just to drink. To him, if he needed alcohol to have fun, then it wasn’t something he needed to do. But drinking games were different for some reason. 

It had probably started in college, his love for the innocent game of Pin Pon Pan. It was easy to play, no one got left out, and he loved seeing the look on someone's face when they messed up the chain. What trouble could a few drinks cause, plus they had his favorite pear sake. 

“Ok, one game. But that's it.” He gave you a stern look before joining the circle. 

“Yeah, yeah. One game.” You teased, watching them play from the couch. 

Now it was two hours later, and your boyfriend was a giggly mess. He leaned up against Daichi, teasing an equally drunk Asahi. 

“Where did your shoe even go?” Daichi laughed, looking down at Asahi’s bare foot. 

“It’s on Suga-sans foot!” Asahi pointed to the mismatched pair on his friend's feet. 

“Where did my shoe go?” Sugawara chuckled, sitting down on the floor. He pulled off his other shoe, looking at it as if it would hold all the answers. 

“Where did you three disappear to?” You shook your head, chuckling as your boyfriend offered you his shoe. You gingerly took it, earning a soft smile from your very drunk boyfriend. 

Daichi looked down alarmingly at his jacket, patting the pockets as he looked for something. He reached inside, pulling out his vibrating phone. “Hi baby, mhm. Can we get some food on the way home? Me and Asahi-san are hungry.” Daichi wandered back into the hallway, Asahi chasing after him. 

“Is that Michimiya-chan, tell her hi for me!”

You could hear their footsteps echoing down the hallway as they made way for the exit. “I think it’s time to get you home too.” You reached your hand out, pulling your boyfriend to his feet.

“Goodnight guys, get home safe!” You waved goodbye to your band members, gathering you and Sugawara’s things as you walked him out of the room. 

“I want you to drive, because i’m drunk. Driving drunk is illegal and I could get in trouble.” Sugawara mumbled as he fished his keys out of his pocket. “And if you're ever drunk, i’ll drive you home. I wonder what kind of drunk you are. I hope you're cuddly....”He continued to talk to himself, mumbling about the legal drinking age and how much he enjoys your hugs. 

“Put on your coat for me and I'll drive.” 

He nodded, trading items with you.

You put the keys in your own pocket, laughing as he struggled with his insideout sleeve. “Here let me help you.” You pulled out the stuck fabric, freeing his arm from the blockage. You took each side of his coat zipper in your hands, guiding them together once he was inside of his coat properly. 

Reaching down, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “You take such good care of me. I’m really lucky to have you.” 

You could feel your ears heating up, his gaze flustering you more by the minute. You zipped up his coat, giving it a pat once he was securely inside. “Come on handsome, I still have to get you home.” 

He nodded, taking your hand as you guided him down the hall and out of the venue. As you walked, a lone shoe came into view, wedged in the emergency exit door. 

“My shoe!” Sugawara shouted, pulling the shoe out from the door. He looked at it for a moment, happy to have it back in his life. “Can you hold it for me so I don’t lose it again?” He held out the shoe to you, looking at the other one still clutched in your hand. 

You gave him a soft nod, taking it from him and tucking it under your arm. You opened the door for him, watching him run over to his car. 

“I got this car two years ago from a really nice old lady. She said she couldn’t drive it because her back was bad. It made me sad...but now the car is mine.” He flashed you a bright smile as he attempted to wrap his arms around the body of the car. 

You unlocked the doors, chuckling as he jumped. 

He opened the drivers side door for you, helping you inside before stumbling to the passenger door. Once inside he clicked his seatbelt, the same soft smile still on his face as he watched you adjust your seat. 

“You know, your mine too.” He reached his hand out, running his fingers down the side of your jaw. “If I had to pick between my car and you. I would always pick you.” 

You took his hand in yours, leaning into the feeling of his warm palm. “And if you did, I would buy you a car so you could have both.” 

He gave you a pleased smile, watching as you backed out of the parking lot.

\----

You pulled into Sugawara’s parking lot, the GPS flashing as it ended the route. 

“Let’s get you inside, what number is your apartment?” You were unbuckling your seatbelt when an arm reached across you. “What's wrong Koushi?” You gave him a confused look, your eyes squinting as you tried to make out his face in the dark. 

He leaned across the center counsel, his hands finding your face as he pulled you closer to him. His lips met yours, his kiss slow and rough. 

Your hands found his own, holding them against you as you leaned into him. 

He spread his fingers, letting you lace your with his own as he pulled away.

“Come here.” He sat back in his seat, patting his thigh. 

You opened your mouth to protest, but his hooded stare told you he wouldn’t listen even if you did. You reached for his hand again, using him as leverage as you climbed over the console and into his lap. 

“I should warn you now, I'm a needy drunk. And I haven’t kissed you enough today.” He gave you a faint smile, his eyes dark as he looked over your features. His hands unlaced from yours, reaching down to pull you closer. 

Resting your hands on his chest, you leaned in, hovering your lips over his own. 

“I want to take my time with you, take my time with us. But I can’t help but want to indulge in you a bit right now.” He whispered against your lips, each syllable he spoke grazing the soft skin of his own against yours. 

His cool fingers slid up your back, gliding up your spine as your shirt bunched around his arms. “Please tell me if you feel uncomfortable, because I won’t be able to stop if you don’t tell me to.”

You nodded, closing the gap between you. 

He smirked into the kiss, his grip on you tightening as his rational thoughts blurred over. The only thing he wanted, needed right now was to be as close to you as he could possibly be. The wanton need to have you was taking over every thought he had. 

He licked your bottom lip, the taste of pear sake mixed in with his own. He waited for you to part your lips, nibbling on them impatiently. 

You didn’t respond, too lost in his touch to think about your next move. 

He furrowed his brow, the need to taste you becoming too much for him. The warm pads of his fingers tingled, slipping under the band of your bra as he scratched up your back. You gasped from the contact, his opportunity had finally presented itself. 

He pressed his tongue against yours, hot and soft as your saliva melded. 

Your fingers twisted in his shirt, holding onto him as your body went numb. Your skin only recognising his touch. 

At one point, your brain had been working. Forming coherent thoughts, telling you to take things slow. But now you only thought of him. His smell, his taste, his touch. Going slow just wasn’t going to work. 

Sugawara moved from your lips to your jaw, trailing wet kisses down to the sensitive skin on your neck. He sucked small red spots down to your collar, his fingers pulling at your collar as he moved further down your chest. 

You ground down on his lap subconsciously, the need for friction bubbling up from the back of your mind. 

Sugawara let out a low moan from the pressure, pushing his nose into your neck. 

You froze in his arms at the sound, unaware something so sinful could come out of someone like him. 

Sugawara pulled away from you, crimson brushing his cheeks. He avoided your widened eyes, causing you to shift uncomfortably on top of him. 

“I want to keep going F/N, I really do. But this isn’t how I want it to go.” Sugawara looked at you finally, his heart dropping when he saw your dispirited look. “I just want it to be romantic, you deserve it to be romantic! Please don’t think I don’t want to, because I do. Ah, i’m drunk and this isn’t how tonight should have gone…” Sugawara frowned, leaning his head against your shoulder. 

“Koushi…”

He sat back up, giving you a worried look.

“Thank you.” You gave him a bright smile, your heart swelling. You would have been more than happy to be with him tonight. But the fact that he wanted to give you something better, something more intimate and loving made you cherish him even more. 

He loved you, and you really did feel it in everything he did. 

You savored the moment, looking at each other while. The heat of the moment dying down to a low smolder.

He brushed his fingertips over your collarbone, his love marks already forming. 

“We should get to bed. I have a busy day ahead of me.” You giggled, drawing his attention away from his thoughts. 

“Drive my car home, I can pick it up in the morning. I don’t want you walking alone so late at night.” 

You tried to protest but he put a finger to your lips, shushing you as he pulled his apartment key off his keyring. He helped you back into the driver's seat, buckling you in before he got out of the car. 

You rolled the window down as he walked around to your door. “Thank you for the taste.” he teased. 

Your breath hitched in your throat, your mind backtracking to the feeling of his lips on yours.

He let out a soft chuckle as he pinched your red cheeks. “Drive safe honey, please tell me when you get home.” The sober Koushi was slowly coming back, his mind finally able to focus on something less sinful. He pressed his lips to yours one last time, this time his touch was innocent and soft. 

He waved goodbye to you as you pulled out of the parking lot, waiting till you were out of his view to walk up the stairs to his apartment door. 

Once you got home you set his keys on the coffee table, falling onto the couch with a loud sigh. Your back heated up again, the ghost of his fingertips still lingering in your mind. “I should probably text him that I'm home.” You mumbled to yourself, pulling out your phone from your bag. 

You clicked the power button, noticing a message from a new number. You opened the message, your brows knitting together as you read it. 

“Sugawara told me you needed a fake boyfriend for the day and gave me your number for the details. What time do you need me to show up at the station tomorrow?” 


End file.
